Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster - 1965 - USA

Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster - 1965 - 4/10

 
How have I existed so many decades unaware of this wowzer?
Exploratory alien ship mistakes a mission to Mars rocket for a missile and destroys it.
Wait!  Flashback.  We discover astronaut Frank is a cyborg, with human body, brain circuits and capacitors.
He / it / them survives, although it starts mindlessly killing Porto (sic) Rican turistas.
Meantime, our invaders (remember them?) they start kidnapping Earthlings.
Young, wearing bikinis, miniskirts, shorts, halter tops.  You know, desirable breeders.
(Seemed like producers cribbed this off “Raiders From The Rings” by Alan Nourse.)
Oh yeah, a couple of incongruous pop songs from Bob Crewe’s stable.
Film is all kinds of bad and massively entertaining.

Psycho - 1960 - USA

Psycho - 1960 - 7/10

 

 

Bank secretary, annoyed by a pompous braggart, casually embezzles $40K.
Drives into oblivion, plagued by guilt, anxiety, growing regret of her impulsive action.
A downpour forces her off the main highway, where she takes shelter at an old motel.
A classic shocker that must be viewed stone cold.
If you have never viewed this one, don’t read a damn thing.  Really.
Turn off the distractions, just focus on the female criminal and relax.

Savage House - 2026 - UK

Savage House - 2026 - 7/10 

 
Sir Chauncey Savage married into his title.
He had been working class trash, while Lady Savage came from a noble, if ruined, house.
Together, they squandered or pawned all remaining valuables.
If only a royal would visit, that would boost social esteem and replenish their fortunes.
This is a gloriously wicked comedy, sprinkled with political observations.
But mostly greed.  Along with avarice, gluttony, lust, thievery.
Not sloth, however.  Their industry could be inspiring.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3373306

Hell Harbor - 1930 - USA

Hell Harbor - 1930 - 5/10 

 
After murdering for a  cash wad, Morgan is blackmailed into selling his daughter to the head grifter.
Hot-blooded Anita wants none of that, thank you very much.
She intends to kill the moneyed American as soon as he drops anchor.
Until she decides he is too good looking to kill.
Maybe he can sail her to Havana.  Maybe he will marry her.
Creaky Pre-Code depends on Lupe Velez; when she is on, this sizzles.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3373305

Dogville - 2003 - Denmark

Dogville - 2003 - 6/10

 
Straight off, I do not like this director.  Genius or misogynist, take your pick.
Grace, on the run from hoodlums, hides in one-horse-town Dogville.
Gangsters pass through and offer a fat finder’s fee for her.
The town permits her to remain as an unpaid servant.  A slave.  Games ensue.
Despite the equivalent of a Pre-Code ending, this is a torturous watch.
It is also not cinema, but plain theatre.

Pride Of The Marines - 1945 - USA

Pride Of The Marines - 1945 - 7/10

 
Boy meets girl.  He’s a confirmed never-going-to-marry sort, she’s no pushover.
Pearl Harbor attack and the boy enlists.
On Guadalcanal, he mows down a company of combatants, but is blinded.  
Rest of the film follows his rehabilitation and determination not to tell the girl.
As if women can be fooled.
A trifle too long, but Garfield is intense and memorable as Al Schmid, real hero.

Dante’s Peak - 1997 - USA

Dante’s Peak - 1997 - 5/10 

 
Aww shucks, How could I forget?
The other stupid volcano disaster from 1997.
Activity in Washington draws seismologists.  Only it’s a false alert.
Government sends their experts back.  Save for Pierce, who stubbornly stays.
The disaster stuff takes half the movie to get underway. 
Exciting and also ludicrous.  I ended up rooting for lava and sulphur.

Invocation Of My Demon Brother - 1969 - USA

Invocation Of My Demon Brother - 1969 - 5/10 

 
This opens at what appears to be a dissipated orgy, participants spent.
Trippy, with lights, costumes, camera trickery, male nudity and repetitive (hypnotic?) music.
Must say, I did appreciate the skull pipe.
A little of this goes a long way.  Maybe if I was back in the early 70’s, stoned.
Participants include Kenneth Anger, Mick Jagger, Anton LaVey, Bobby Beausoleil.

Zombeavers - 2014 - USA

Zombeavers - 2014 - 5/10

 
College students (resembling 30-year-olds) head to the cabin by the stream.
Unaware that toxic waste has spilled into the waters, turning shy, mild-mannered beavers into –
Omigod!  Zombie beavers!  Ravenous for flesh.
Luckily, our intrepid sextet (mind the first half of that word) take shelter in a cabin made of wood.
Chomp, gnaw, chomp, gnaw, chomp – oh, no!  Beavers can chew through wood?
Horror romp has more gags and jokes that nail, rather than duds.
Stick with those credits, likewise a snazzy outro song.

Souleymane’s Story - 2024 - France

Souleymane’s Story - 2024 - 7/10
AKA - L'Histoire de Souleymane

 
Souleymane is a Guinea refugee trying to get asylum status.
Between an ill-paid gig as a food delivery guy, he takes lessons on how to present himself as a political refugee.
Truth to the point, he has dependents back home, and he is an economic migrant, which nations are declining.
He is cheated throughout, underpaid, lied to, harassed, racing through Paris traffic.
Abou Sangaré is amazing in the title role.  The film is uncomfortable.
I live in the barrio and witness this often.  Neighbors gently shoo these folks along.
Desperate people do desperate things, as told to us by local police.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3373304

The Colony - 2026 - S Korea

The Colony - 2026 - 6/10 
AKA - Gunche // 군체

 
As in ant colony or hive mentality.
An embittered young scientist infects the elder who appropriated his research.
The infection grows exponentially, turning victims into zombie like mutations.
Periodically, they share a colony update, learning.
Fast-moving S Korean film, as frantic as Train To Busan, but not as fresh.

The Golden Bowl - 1972 - UK

The Golden Bowl - 1972 - 7/10 

 
Ex-pat Americans live in luxury in Europe.
Affluent, they catch of eye of aristocratic Euro mercenaries.
Including a cash poor prince, who marries a naïve Maggie.
Maggie’s best mate Charlotte, marries Maggie’s father.
We suspect, long before our American friends do, that the prince and Charlotte share an intimate relationship.
Superb adaptation of Henry James’ layered novel.
This may prove too slow for many, yet deception takes time to be exposed.
Avarice, opulence, innocence and experience.

A Thousand Pleasures - 1968 - USA

A Thousand Pleasures - 1968 - 5/10

 
After killing his wife, Richard heads to the coast to dispose of her body.
Enroute, he picks up two female hitchhikers – who turn out to be lesbians with “baby fever”.
Richard is kidnapped and subject to humiliation, in order to get his baby makin’ juice.
Good luck there, ladies, as another female, Anna, is a plus-sized nymphomaniac.
No mercy for the murderer in sleazy grindhouse sexploitation.
Pulp dialogue such as, “the delicate pink lining of the chasm of love…”
Audio commentary meanders and is never pertinent to the onscreen “narrative”.
English subtitles = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3373035

The Big Country - 1958 - USA

The Big Country - 1958 - 6/10

 
Retired sea captain heads West.
His fiancée awaits, as does a feud between his in-laws and some outlaws.
The conflict, water rights.  Big deal in cattle country.
Uncontrolled testosterone precipitates fighting, which the sea captain declines.
Several times, action is imminent, only to defuse.
The musical theme is the best thing in overlong, plodding soap opera.

Night Shift - 2024 - USA

Night Shift - 2024 - 6/10

 
Best friend Darcy is heading off to Ivy League.
Cheryl, meantime, is stuck in a dumpy diner, filled with immature horn dogs.
Until Feral Cheryl, snubbed-dubbed by schoolmates, is befriended by a leather clad stranger.
Before she gets clawed outside the town’s recreation alley.
Afterward, beware the full moon!
English subtitles = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3373034

Suggs: My Life Story - 2018 - UK

Suggs: My Life Story - 2018 - 6/10

 
Madness frontman and ordinary bloke, Suggs, before an intimate crowd.
Part remembrance, part recreations, some music hall, and a search for a missing father.
Enjoyment might depend on how familiar one is with Suggs, Madness, 80’s music, Thatcher England.

Kiss Me Deadly - 1955 - USA

Kiss Me Deadly - 1955 - 7/10 

 
Sleazy detective Mike Hammer picks up a near nude hitchhiker.
The pair are soon kidnapped, the female tortured to death, Hammer almost killed.
Police and Feds advise the two-bit divorce PI to back off, and he knuckles down. 
Hard hitting, two-fisted Noir, one of the very toughest.
Meeker is the definite Hammer to whom all others are measured.
Singled out by a Federal Commission as the #1 menace to American youth.

The Bird With The Crystal Plumage - 1970 - Italy

The Bird With The Crystal Plumage - 1970 - 6/10 
AKA - L'uccello dalle Piume di Cristallo

 
Sam has writer’s block, so he heads to Rome with his English model girlfriend.
After witnessing and intervening in an attempted murder, he foolishly “gets involved.”
Sam begins investigating on his own.
So much so, that the assassin warns him, and threatens his English bird.
Does he listen?  Please.
Argento debut film is a tour de force, bristling with style and flourishes.

A Blueprint For Murder - 1953 - USA

A Blueprint For Murder - 1953 - 6/10

 
Uncle Cam hurries to the hospital where niece Polly is critical.
Doctors are baffled.  Then Polly recovers, only to die by dawn.
Just one of those sad things, I guess.
Until Cam’s friend, a pulp mystery writer, speculates about strychnine.
Sure enough.  Stranger still, Cam’s brother, Polly’s dad, had also died mysteriously.
Suspicion falls on the widow, the second wife, who stands to inherit – once little Bobby dies.
More mystery than Noir, neither lead is quite believable.

The Time Travelers - 1964 - USA

The Time Travelers - 1964 - 5/10

 
Scientists devise a time travel view screen.
Only, mirroring today, it drains enormous power from the local utility.
Then, it shorts somehow, and become a transport portal … into the future!
2071, Earth a wasteland after a nuclear war.
Mutants on the surface, remnants of civilization underground.
Although a cheesy B-film (borrowing from The Time Machine, it is thoughtful, and the ending imaginative.

War Of The Worlds - 1953 - USA

War Of The Worlds - 1953 - 7/10 

 
“Everybody understands when you wave the white flag, you wanna be friends.”
“Hey, there! Open up!”
So declare the local welcome wagon trio in California.
Who become the first victims of a full-scale Martian invasion.
Exciting 1950’s SciFi is an effects powerhouse and remains thrilling decades later.
Not exactly faithful to Wells, but frighteningly close to Hawking’s predictions.

I Was A Teenage Werewolf - 1957 - USA

I Was A Teenage Werewolf - 1957 - 5/10 

 
Troubled juvenile delinquent Tony is ordered to visit a psychiatrist. 
Dr. Brandon uses hypnosis regression to ascertain the root of Tony’s anger.
And gives him an experimental drug to stimulate his primitive side.
Low-budget, B horror was a staple with Teenage Frankenstein for years.
Not particularly scary (there is more running around than killing). 
Watched as children, my brother and I dissected it, but found it OK.
Even today, this is more fun than bad.  One of Landon’s favorite roles.

Probability Factor - 1976 - France

Probability Factor - 1976 - 6/10
AKA - L'ordinateur des Pompes Funèbres

 
Maybe she wasn’t always like this, but one doubts it.
Fred’s wife is a chronic nag, harridan, shrew, bully, making his domestic life hell.
At work, the insurance company, he is a computer engineer, processing risk via numbers.
Such as, how many ways might his wife die at home?
Idle fantasy, until Fred’s secretary, Charlotte, takes advantage of – ahem – a position.
Sexy French comedy of Fred making the right choices, then the wrong ones.

Murder, He Says - 1945 - USA

Murder, He Says - 1945 - 6/10

 
Pollster Pete ignores misgivings and heads to the Fleagle farm.
Where a colleague had disappeared, and the folks are downright hostile.
Right quick, Pete is in a mess of trouble.  Beaten, horsewhipped, tied up, questioned.
Where’s the money? – What money? I just got here. – Where’s the money?
Fast-paced mystery / comedy set in the Ozarks, gives MacMurray a lot of room.
The real find is Jean Heather, career on a streak, before the accident.

Shark Bait - 2022 - Malta

Shark Bait - 2022 - 5/10 

 
Oh, and Spring Break had been going wonderful.
Last night, the drinking, dancing, I even slept with my best friend’s boyfriend!
Well, we were drunk, so it doesn’t count, no matter how many times we did it.
Then, this morning, we borrowed two jet skis.  OK, stole, but we were having fun.
Until we started playing chicken, and wrecked them both, in the middle of the ocean.
Now, this nasty shark keeps picking us off.  Honestly, you’d think it would be full.
My skin is all sunburned, I’m wrinkled, what if someone realizes I’m not twenty?
I only have four more lines left in the script.  So unfair.
This is the worst Spring Break in the history of forever!