Dante’s Peak - 1997 - USA

Dante’s Peak - 1997 - 5/10 

 
Aww shucks, How could I forget?
The other stupid volcano disaster from 1997.
Activity in Washington draws seismologists.  Only it’s a false alert.
Government sends their experts back.  Save for Pierce, who stubbornly stays.
The disaster stuff takes half the movie to get underway. 
Exciting and also ludicrous.  I ended up rooting for lava and sulphur.

Beyond The Poseidon Adventure - 1979 - USA

Beyond The Poseidon Adventure - 1979 - 4/10

 
The capsized liner from 1971 ain’t sunk yet!
Arrive, the jackals and hyenas … uh … salvage boats and profiteers.
The two sides, each declaring to help, soon help themselves.
Until greed takes over.
Inept, cheap sequel (more a remake) wastes a huge cast in boring disaster film.

Volcano - 1997 - USA

Volcano - 1997 - 5/10 

 
I think there were two volcano disaster flicks in ‘97.
Both equally silly.
Here, activity is occurring in the Los Angeles sewers.
Ain’t no colony of alligators neither.  Nor is it the long heralded “big one”.
Tommy Lee Jones hams his way throughout.
Formula script, characters behave like a party of squirrels.

We’re All Gonna Die - 2022 - Canada

We’re All Gonna Die - 2022 - 6/10

 
Yes, one way or another.  All men are mortal.
Host Baruchel angsts over mass events: pandemic, nuclear war, global warming, alien invasion.
He is a Chicken Little ninny, overdramatizing constantly as if he were unboxing for his mommy.
The idea of mass annihilation has already been covered more thoroughly and less foolishly in How To Survive The End Of The World (2013), minus the pity party indulged in here.
Should this get rebooted – again – please let Philomena Cunk have a bash at it.

When Worlds Collide - 1951 - USA

When Worlds Collide - 1951 - 6/10

 
Rogue star is heading Earth’s way.  Destruction imminent.
Yet, the star has an orbiting planet, perhaps humanity can hop there.
Governments of the world ignore the looming disaster.
Luckily, ka-zillionaire types subsidize rocket building … just like today!
Who gets to go?  Who decides?  And how will the teeming hordes react?
Old school SciFi (based on a 1930’s Pulp novel) has moments here and there.
Drama and melodrama retard the pace and thrust, however.

Cesium Fallout - 2024 - Hong Kong

Cesium Fallout - 2024 - 6/10
AKA - Fen Cheng // 焚城

 
Scavengers rake the industrial landfill looking for salvage, especially precious metals.
Oops, they stumble across highly radioactive material.  Oops, oops, they start a fire.
Whoa!  Deadly wastes explode, turning the junkyard into an inferno.
Worse, there is now radioactivity in the air, soon to turn Hong Kong into a wasteland!
Throwback to disaster films of the 1990’s is entertaining, preachy, predictable.
Heroic firefighters, bickering politicians, self-serving business elites.
Stemming the annihilation, a rogue scientist / activist.

How To Survive The End Of The World - 2013 - USA

How To Survive The End Of The World - 2013 - 6/10
AKA - Evacuate Earth

 
Multi-episode documentary mixes science with speculation.
What if …  the planet were struck with a global pandemic (this aired 2013).
Or flood waters covered the earth, or the orbit shifted, moving us away from the sun.
Or weather turns wilder, deadlier.
Experts describe scenarios and possible solutions.
The add-on episode, encounter with a neutron star, lives up to the alternate “Evacuate Earth” title.
It was also wise enough to pinpoint those who, during rescue, would push themselves to the front of the line.
The wealthy, who may lack necessary skill-sets.  And politicians, who excel at provoking conflict.
Curiously, what is not delineated is irreversible, runaway global warming.  Oh, the irony.

The Wave - 2015

The Wave - 2015 - 6/10
AKA - Bølgen

 
Why, oh why, do developers place resorts and posh hotels in the path of potential catastrophe?
Turistas, of course!  They demand exclusive.  And what’s more exclusive than a hideous way to die?
Anyway, the head seismologist is leaving, accepting a high paid gig with oil tycoons in Stockholm.
Then, the day of departure, that unstable fissure in the mountain shows signs of greater instability.
Instead of saying,  “Whoa, I’ll send you guys a postcard,”  the geologist stays.
Because if the mountain flank shears off,  there will be a tidal wave in the fjord.
Top production values, typical of disaster genre.