A Taste Of Christmas - 2020 - USA

A Taste Of Christmas - 2020 - 4/10
AUSAKA - Christmas Romance Al Dente

City girl Natalie does event planning, pet-sitting, gift buying, home delivery, etc ….
A veritable Jaclyn of all trades.
When her aunt, opening a small town restaurant, gets stuck in snow covered Roma, Natalie rushes to the tiny town where, go figure, the hunky Italian chef has arrived.
Christmas, cooking and romance.  Keen eyed viewers might smell a formula.

 
I think … however … what happened was, the writer died.
The producer had already hired actors, bought skillets and aprons, and decided to wing it.
He finished the script with assistance from Ruff.  Man’s nest friend.
“Listen, Ruff, they burn food, right?” – “Which sets off the smoke detector, boss!”
“Good job!  Kitchen sink springs a leak.” – “And leaks explode everywhere!”
“Great, Ruff!  Cinema connoisseurs will recognize an homage to “A Plumbing We Will Go.”
“The peoples should be opposite, right boss?  They don’t like how the other smells.”
“In humans, opposites attract.  That’s why we get divorced or kill each other.”
“How about puppies, boss?” – “We call ours kids.  We find some teens so cute you could choke.”
Missing anything?  Well, when the foxy Italian female sings, her voice is pure Nashville.
Nia Vardalos, featured heavily in ad slicks, is barely here.
Midway, I paused and advised Zelda this would not become a holiday repeat.
She tried to reply, through laughter, tears running down her face.
“This is one of the worst films I’ve seen in my life.”

Janis: Little Girl Blue - 2015 - USA

Janis: Little Girl Blue - 2015 - 6/10

 
Another documentary on 60's icon Janis Joplin, forty odd years dead.
Does a good job talking with relics and survivors, unearthing a couple forgotten souls.
Copies of letters, photos, the usual concert footage, augmented with a lot of the Festival Express tour.
That was a train tour across Canada with Grateful Dead, The Band, Buddy Guy, Flying Burrito Brothers, Delaney & Bonnie.  (In fact, curious souls would be well advised to seek out 2003 doc Festival Express, a better film than this one.)
The earliest doc, Janis - The Way She Was from 1974, was slightly more sanitized than this (blame family white washing), but there were more survivors and their memories fresher.
Myth blurs with history, and this doc seems overlaid with a golden haze of nostalgia.

Carol - 2015 - UK

Carol - 2015 - 7/10

 
Gorgeous film of attraction leading into fling.
Younger female meets older female.  Age difference, wealth difference, class difference.
The foolish heart that learns through experience.
Set in early 1950's New York, the look is a fashion catalogue.  Clothes, hairstyle, makeup.
Director Todd Haynes shot in Super 16 so there is grain in the film.
Some critics have likened this to Sirk, but I think they are in error.
Sirk’s films are often high-voltage melodramas, and Carol is a subdued mood piece.
Social constrictions abound and repercussions for deviating from the norm glide quietly in the background.

Standing Woman - 2021 - UK

Standing Woman - 2021 - 6/10

Chances are the first lot are felons:  Murderers, rapists, kidnappers, violent prone.
Followed by burglars, robbers, drug dealers, thieves.
Being planted, every one.
Then drug users, petty shoplifters, folks who run a stop sign.
Next the complainers, those who criticize the government, the individualists.
Where will it end?  Well, we all want a better world, don’t we?

 

QE2: The Final Voyage - 2009 - UK

QE2:  The Final Voyage - 2009 - 6/10

 
Limited audience for this.  Documentary about the final trip of the Cunard liner, QE2.
History - highlights - final run from Southampton to Dubai, interspersed with passenger recollections.
“Limited audience” is a bit fuzzy, though, as the doc states that over a million people have sailed the vessel.
Likely millions more have cruised from port to port.
Belated souvenir for those who walked the Queen Elizabeth 2 gangplank.
Perhaps of interest for those who wonder what the “posh boat” was about.

I was actually one of those million souls, who sailed the QE2.
For our 20th anniversary, I booked passage, managing to keep it a secret from Zelda.
Our cabin, barely above the water line, was minuscule and barely within our financial means.
I paid extra for a porthole, which, owing to extremely rough seas, was sealed with a steel plate for the duration.

Unlike cruise ships, dinner was black tie, tux or suits for men, gowns for women.
Dinner was also 6:00 PM or 8:00 PM.  Period.
When I advised the agent we would prefer 6:00, he adamantly opposed.
“What’s so bad about 6:00?”  I asked.  - -  “Wheelchairs and walkers.”  - -  Dinner at 8:00 it was.

By sheer luck, the trip was movie themed.  Telluride honchos brought a dozen not-yet-released films.
Speakers included Peter Bogdanovich, Ken Burns, Roger Ebert, Paul Schrader, Chuck Jones.
You could catch lectures or simply share a private conversation in one of the many pubs.

The North Atlantic was rough, the ship groaned and shuddered most of the crossing.
Numerous passengers were seasick.
One of our dinner companions was a young Air Force officer.  One evening he confessed that while jogging on rain soaked decks, he had slipped and had almost slid overboard.  None would have noticed his disappearance.
Intrigued, we asked our guest officer if this had ever happened.  He smiled and gestured indifferently.
"How soon before anyone realized?"  Zelda pressed.
The officer gingerly wiped his mouth with his napkin.  "It would be altogether rude of a guest to leave unannounced,"  he smiled.  "Terribly poor manners."

For our 25th anniversary, we sailed again.  I booked an interior room and paid a quarter of what I had before.
We were seasoned travelers by then, also less wide-eyed.
We noticed, while the QE2 was still the same, the vibe was different.
Carnival had purchased the line, and crustier Brits commented about slipping standards.
No Telluride theme, no famous speakers.  Instead of ships officers, our dinner table included a blustery Teamster who always got red-faced drunk before he arrived.
Hard to blame new ownership.  You could visit Vegas twice, each stay would differ.
Nonetheless, both were magical trips, which I never regretted spending money on.

Outrage - 1950 - USA

Outrage - 1950 - 6/10

Ann has just gotten engaged.  Head in the clouds, she heads home through the factory distract.
Is observed, followed, chased, raped (although that word is never spoken).

 
In later times there would be support groups, counselors.
Yet in 1950, there is stigma.  Neighbors and coworkers watch, point, whisper.
So Ann bolts, hops the Los Angeles bound bus, gets off in nowhere.
Reinvents herself with a new name.
Noirish “message” film, packs a nice punch, and while still informed by the white bread mores and restrictions of the 1950‘s, this is still relevant today.  Sadly.

Toast Of London: S01 - 2012 - UK

Toast Of London: S01 - 2012 - 7/10

Perhaps an acquired taste, but if you are one for British humor, this is a gem.
Steven Toast is a journeyman actor, clearly on the downside of his career.
He does voiceover work, TV work when available, indie movies, theatre boards.
Currently his is acting in what is considered one of the worst plays ever.
He is pompous, cocksure (in more ways than one as there is a lot of rogering in this series), extremely annoying to those around him, and tearfully funny as episodes build.
This is packed with theatre jokes and many guest stars.
For a half hour show, it is generous with plot and laughs.
Example - In the S01 finale, Toast auditions for - he wrongly assumes 007 - and screws that up.

 
Next, he loses a fortune to Lloyd Webber playing poker.  He runs from a hit man, shags a rival’s wife, finds time to act in his nude musical, and mangle his voiceover work.  Awesome Bond opening credits!
Priceless satire.

Touch And Go - 1991 - Hong Kong

Touch And Go - 1991 - 6/10
AKA - Yi chu ji fa //  翻天鵝

After showering in front of the whole street, cafe worker Fat Goose witnesses a cop killing.
Life expectancy for crime witnesses runs between days and hours.
Especially after the squad house gives Fat Goose and number and advises him to phone if he’s about to get killed.
The criminals are unstoppable, and soon begin terrorizing and liquidating.

 
Odd Ringo Lam film with Sammo Hung as bumbling, frightened witness.
Hung excellent in sloppy, comical fight sequences (I have never cared for these).
Brutal action does not mesh with silliness.
Irene Wan shines as the illegal migrant in uneven film.

Wild Things - 1998 - USA

Wild Things - 1998 - 6/10

 
Kelly and Suzie have a plan.  Involves a slight case of murder.
But they know a cop, a dirty one.  And a popular teacher, easy to shag.
Thing is, the participants are all sharpers, wary and calculating.
Delicious Neo-Noir thriller set in the swamps.
Narrative packed with twists and hairpin turns.
Bill Murray memorable as sleaze bag attorney, but the whole cast is top of their game.
Steamy, sexy, wickedly crafted.

Kurokôchi - 2013 - Japan

Kurokôchi - 2013 - 7/10
AKA - クロコーチ

Sleazy, dishonest, crooked, scheming, even murderous.
Barely comes close to describing the used car ethics of Detective Kurokôchi.

 
He extorts money from politicians, covers-up killings by businessmen, blackmails anyone he can slip the wedge under.
For all that, he is almost a breath of fresh air in the entrenched law enforcement hierarchy.
And, as the 10 episode series unfolds, he digs deeper and deeper into a long buried mystery.
The 300 Million Yen Bank Robbery of 1968 (actual event).
Forces behind the vanished monies, one soon realizes, are powerful and secure.
Nevertheless, they never take the shifty Kurokôchi for granted.
He is partnered with a by-the-book individual, whom he shamelessly exploits.
Very much a game of lies, knives and smiles.  Irresistible!

Checkpoint - 2022 - USA

Checkpoint - 2022 - 6/10

 
“Go.  Seek penance.  Reveal your worth.”
The man wakes in the wilderness, an extraordinarily dangerous environment.
Where he dies.  Again and again and again.
Each time, learning and advancing towards an uncertain goal.
Survival short, a brutal riff on Groundhog Day, drives hard and does not outstay its welcome.
Lost me with the ending, though.

Invasion Of The Bee Girls - 1973 - USA

Invasion Of The Bee Girls - 1973 - 6/10

“Zzzzz” aired in 1964 on The Outer Limits.
The beehive designs a young queen to resemble a human for interspecies mating.

 
Great plan?  Well, her target is a stuffy professor, loyal to his wife.
In the end, our young queen shrugs and gives up, unaware she could have scored with any horny teenager, rowdy fratboy, jock, the mailman, postman, you name it.
Because the young queen is an exotic hottie.
Fast forward a decade, and I imagine producers revamped this concept for the trashy drive-in thriller, Invasion Of The Bee Girls.
These worker bees are far more successful with male / female mating.
For those less knowledgeable about bees, male drones, during a successful romp have a highly sensitive appendage broken off, and they die.
After a tumble in this flick, menfolk likewise perish, though we are not told how.
As more men succumb to the throes of ecstasy, a government agent teams up with a curvy bee specialist.
Alert viewers might well speculate that once her eyeglasses come off, so will a whole lot more.
That fails to reckon with the Bee Girls strategy of transforming more human females into, you got it, sexually voracious mantraps.

 
Resistance is futile, future honeypot.
Fun, sexy nonsense with flesh and adult situations.
Newer DVD miss some nudity but look better than previous DVD that had the extra bits.

Emma Bovary - 2021 - France

Emma Bovary - 2021 - 6/10

 
Gustav Flaubert goes on trial for corruption of public morals with his indecent “Madame Bovary”.
Concurrent with the trial, the narrative of the book plays out.
For courtroom drama fans, the jurors are all male.
Emma begins as an innocent, but quickly develops a taste for better things.
Along with men, younger than her adoring, if overworked husband.
Her affairs seem closer to those of “Thérèse Raquin” in heedless carnality.
Glossy, simplified to be sure, but should provide a quick digest for lazy students.

Ian Fleming: Where Bond Began - 2008 - UK

Ian Fleming:  Where Bond Began - 2008 - 7/10

 
Engaging documentary of the writer, focusing on his newspaper years (where he learned his craft) and WWII service in Naval Intelligence (where he saw firsthand the world of espionage).
Enjoyable for Bond buffs, though this is not about 007, but the creator.
In a delicious irony, Fleming’s voiceover is done by Jonathan Pryce (AKA: Elliot Carver).
Joanna Lumley, a sometimes cheeky presenter, was a Bond girl, and was in The New Avengers.
Much of this will be interesting to newcomers, and the history is more accurate than 2014‘s Fleming.

It Came From Outer Space - 1953 - USA

It Came From Outer Space - 1953 - 5/10

 
I last saw this in the 70’s, in 3D (yes, the theater provided glasses) and remember being unimpressed.
Aliens land in the remote Arizona desert and start to mind control the locals.
Fortunately there is a nearby astronomer, with fiancée, who recognizes strange goings on.
A few equate this with Invasion Of The Body Snatchers except this predates that film by a few years.  
Theremin music is fairly eerie.  The 3D effects?  I was not wearing glasses (and I wasn’t stoned) so they don’t come across as well.  I keep remembering that I jumped in my seat years ago.
Not a complete miss for me, might be better if you are in the mood.

Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer - 1986 - USA

Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer - 1986 - 6/10

 
Kinda sorta based on Henry Lee Lucas, murderer who falsely admitted killing 600.
Here, Henry is a drifter and opportunist.
Egged on by companion Otis, they proceed on a deadly spree.
There are a series of brutal killings, yet splatter hounds may be disappointed.
The tone is deadbeat and grim throughout, as if killing is a boring habit, a job that pays poorly.
Michael Rooker is fine as the emotionally numb Henry, while Otis and his sister are more complicated.
I appreciated the acting and the bleak tone.
This is one ugly film, though.