Mario Cantone: Laugh Whore - 2005 - USA

Mario Cantone: Laugh Whore - 2005 - 5/10 

 
Standup routine before a sympathetic audience.
Catone jabs his Italian upbringing, mocks a bit of current events, kicks the South.
His impersonations are first rate:
Streisand, Hepburn, Stanwyck, Rivers, Cher, Oprah, etc …
Mostly gay icons; I am unsure whether he is being ironic or venting hostility.
His is not respectful homage, he skewers and ridicules.
Snarky comments mask envy and resentment.

Thank You For Smoking - 2005 - USA

Thank You For Smoking - 2005 - 7/10

 
Professional lobbyist Nick works for the tobacco industry, argues there is no link between smoking and cancer.
Fellow lobbyists represent alcohol and firearms.  “It’s not the gun’s fault.”
He is well paid, smoothly professional, until he catches the eye of a do-gooder journalist.
For such a cynical soul, how’d he lower his guard?  That rings false.
Otherwise, this is extremely funny – unless one has loved ones who smoked themselves to death.
Eckhart especially fine here, his debating flair and excuses laugh out loud moments.

Noroi - 2005 - Japan

Noroi - 2005 - 6/10
AKA - The Curse // ノロイ

 
Hearing rumors of odd deaths involving a strange women and her mute son, a researcher begins to investigate.
Which leads him into a maze of modern Tokyo, secluded villages, and events 200 years ago.
Clues include demon Kagutaba, the gathering of sorcerers, the rising waters of the dam.
A strong plot aids this one.  One must pay attention as incidents tend to reecho in proceedings.
The camera work is atrocious.  Yes, this is a “found footage” doc, but this is excessive.
In many ways, better than Occult (2009), save for the over-the-top shaky cam and damage.
One Cut Of The Dead (2017) is also worth seeking out and much more fun.
Noroi memorable, depending on your tolerance for cinéma vérité and aluminum foil.

Under The Greenwood Tree - 2005 - UK

Under The Greenwood Tree - 2005 - 6/10 

 
Young Fancy arrives in the village to tend her ailing father and teach the children.
She soon attracts menfolk: the vicar, the rich man, the industrious poor man.
Thomas Hardy adaptation charts the seasons, and the rural landscape is beautiful.
Music, dance parties, clash of class, aspirations.
Very much an idealistic portrait of a world that, I suspect, was on the edge of disintegration.
Although considerably later, this might appeal to Austen fans.

Separate Lies - 2005 - UK

Separate Lies - 2005 - 6/10

 
The uncomfortable ménage à trois.
Laissez faire, indifferent lover, older high-powered corporate attorney, insecure wife.
Between them, they share knowledge of a manslaughter.
Straight off, I could not buy the attraction between any of the characters for a second.
Whether lovers or spouses, nothing clicked.  The casting was poor.
Julian Fellowes moral whodunit chugs along in jaded ennui.

Spiral - 2005 - France

Spiral - 2005 - 6/10
AKA - Engrenages

 
A female corpse is found in a junkyard, body mutilated beyond recognition.
Gendarmes and a magistrate try to determine who she was, why she was murdered.
That is the overall arc.  There is also a baby killing, smuggling, corrupt cop, the usual.
Mix of procedural and soap opera, meaning characters’ mini dramas.
Highly absorbing if you like getting lost in characters.
Me?  I couldn’t’ care less and won’t return for additional seasons.

Hard Candy - 2005 - USA

Hard Candy - 2005 - 7/10

 
Jeff, 39 something camera guy, likes them young.
He meets Hayley online, and they start exchanging dirty, flirty messages.
Hayley Is 14, of which Jeff is aware.
They meet at a small bistro, then he invites her back to his place for drinks.
Again … this guy … what?  It’s all good, perfectly innocent.
Until the innocent yucks disappear into a drug haze.
While the narrative pivots into psychological suspense.
Edgy, provocative fare with teeth.

Pride & Prejudice - 2005 - UK

Pride & Prejudice - 2005 - 5/10

 
Updated retelling of Austen, everything heightened for the Emo era.
Bennet family have five daughters of varying marriage eligibility.
Beauty is Jane, brilliance is Elizabeth.
Into the rural community sweeps young Bingley and his aloof friend, Darcy.
Sparks and complications, and, per title, pride and prejudice.
Lavish costumes, dazzling cinematography, good score notwithstanding …
if you are expecting cultural reserve, this is not the version.
Nuanced characters?  Not here.  Faithful to Austen?  Barely.
I could blame the director, or the one playing Eliza, but the liability is the time constraint.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - 2005 - USA

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - 2005 - 6/10  

 
It’s a downright shame.  In fact, it stinks, this being the Christmas week.
Lockhart, fleeing from a botched robbery, somehow gets cast in a Hollywood movie.
The role, a detective.  Training him will be a real PI, Gay Perry.
Poolside, Lockhart eyes the hotties, just before he is involved with murders.
While something of a shaggy dog yarn, there are multiple narratives and backstories.
The root is pulp fiction, with hardboiled dicks, lost femmes, broken dreams.
Humor very dark in this, with Downey a scattered, unreliable narrator.
Val Kilmer floors it as the cynical, barb wielding shamus.
Ain’t much Yule here, aside from Santa and cocktail waitresses resembling Hugh Hefner’s wet dream.

The Maid - 2005 - Singapore

The Maid - 2005 - 6/10
AKA - 女佣

 
Rosa arrives from the Philippines to Singapore.
Auspiciously, it is the seventh month.
The Gates of Hell yawn open, spirits with a grievance emerge.
Rosa’s employers try to explain, try to warn her.
The girl is ignorant, however, makes mistakes, offending the ghosts.
Packed with jump scares (that soon grow tiresome) and wooden acting.
Script boasts a few twists, will be OK for those who sample different horror themes.
English subs = https://subscene.cam/subtitle/3351398

Douglas Fairbanks: The Great Swashbuckler - 2005 - USA

Douglas Fairbanks: The Great Swashbuckler - 2005 - 7/10

 
90 minute biography from the Douglas Fairbanks Museum.
Tidy overview of his life, Broadway career, Hollywood comedian, then action icon.
Numerous clips from many films, quality varies depending on restoration.
Hosts do a good job encapsulating the man, painful personal history, achievements.
If nothing else, for founding United Artists with Mary Pickford, Charlie Chaplin and D W Griffith.
One must overlook the somewhat amateurish quality of this.
Miking is not always the best, set choices are odd, and it feels like the budget was modest.
If you can forgive limitations, you should enjoy this labor of love documentary.

Domino - 2005 - USA

Domino - 2005 - 6/10

 
Real change of pace for Keira Knightley, playing a bounty hunter.
Domino was the real daughter of actor Laurence Harvey.
At the core of this over-elaborate film, is an armored car heist.
Then the patsies, a bounty hunter crew now in the eye of the F.B.I.
Knightley, who I scoff at frequently, is good as the beauty who embraces the underbelly.
A sloppy film, unfortunately, and I fault the directing and editing.
Wild cast only increases the disappointment.

Kinky Boots - 2005 - UK

Kinky Boots - 2005 - 6/10

 
Price & Sons footwear, in business for generations, is going bankrupt.
Times have changed and customers are buying cheaper, foreign shoes.
Except there is a possible niche.
Shoes, boots, for drag queens.  Shoes that have to be fashionable, yet sturdy.
Quite sturdy.  Wearers are big boned, tall, and performing takes a toll.
A mix of belly laughs and serious introspection (which tend to halt momentum).
Chiwetel Ejiofor unforgettable as the indomitable Lola.

The Green Street Hooligans - 2005 - UK

The Green Street Hooligans - 2005 - 7/10

 
Expelled Harvard student heads to England to rebuild.
There, he wanders into a football firm and gradually acquires a taste for violence.
Elijah Woods seems something of odd casting.  Sometimes believable, other times less so.
Viewed as a “continuing education” story, this works better, especially as Matt grows into a formidable male.
Developing useful skills and instincts.
Based on a novel, which I read per my wife’s recommendation, this can be brutal at times.

Look Both Ways - 2005 - Australia

Look Both Ways - 2005 - 6/10

 
Meryl, an anxiety ridden illustrator witnesses a disastrous train accident.
There, she meets Nick, photographer, who has learned he has cancer.
Both are damaged, no – say, limited individuals, who are trying to navigate their problems.
Quirky Australian comedy mixes offbeat romance, spontaneous animation inserts (of ways to horribly die), and a refreshing, hopeful tone.
Always refreshing to see characters with a clear view of themselves, with few delusions.

Kill Zone - 2005 - Hong Kong

Kill Zone - 2005 - 7/10
AKA - Saat po Long  // 殺破狼

 
Chief inspector Chung has tried to nail crime boss Wong Po for years.
Chung, now with a brain tumor, is set to retire and hand the reins to Kwan.
Yet, he still wants to toss Wong Po behind bars, even if that means breaking the law.
Straightforward Hong Kong actioner boasts three top stars.
Simon Yam as the inspector.  Sammo Hung, cast against type as the deadly Po.
And Donnie Yen, in absolute peak form!
The photography in this bleak, Neo Noir is outstanding.
Numerous fights in this, all dazzling showstoppers.

The Wayward Cloud - 2005 - Taiwan

The Wayward Cloud - 2005 - 6/10
AKA - Tian bian yi duo yun // 天邊一朵雲

Half sibling to 1999’s The Hole.  In the earlier film, torrential rain, in this one drought.
Water flows briefly each day, residents rely on melons to slack thirst.
A seemingly abandoned apartment building houses a film crew making porn videos.
Tenants wander listlessly, engage in bored sex, browse the empty video shop.
This is mostly wordless.  While there may be meaning, I did not think too hard.

As with The Hole, the favorite parts for me were the weird-beyond-belief musical numbers.
Prudes, beware numerous mid-core pornographic sequences.  γνῶθι σεαυτόν
Subs = https://subscene.com/subtitles/the-wayward-cloud-tian-bian-yi-duo-yun/english/2997328

The Thick Of It: S01 - 2005 - UK

The Thick Of It: S01 - 2005 - 6/10

 
Political satire, probably copied numerous times.
Career bureaucrats and politicians, witless about their duties spend 30 minutes shirking responsibility, finger pointing, switching positions, pushing others under the bus.
Venom laced in every line.
Savagely funny, though not for all tastes (not mine, I confess) and probably uncomfortably close to real situations.
First season has only three episodes.

Match Point - 2005 - UK

Match Point - 2005 - 8/10

Tennis star Chris teaches at the upper class club.
He’s young, but the professional days are behind him, and the club is just marking time.
Student Tom takes a shine to him and introduces him to family, where the sister is besotted.
Jackpot!  Which the tennis player realizes, and the couple are soon an “item”.
Tom, however, is dating a fetching siren.

 
Outstanding mystery / thriller is one of Woody’s finest.
Observations on class and aspirations.  Desire, financial and sensual.
Letting – not the heart rule the head – but letting the part rule the head.
One wants to yell at the player, how perfect the rich daughter is.
And yet, Scarlett is utterly bewitching.

Berlin: Metropolis of Vice - 2005 - Canada

Berlin: Metropolis of Vice - 2005 - 7/10

 
Free-for-all tour of 1920's Berlin, widely considered one of the most decadent time/place cities ever.
Film takes its cues from Mel Gordon’s “Voluptuous Panic” and is packed with images, most which cannot be shown here.
Much had to do with the defeat of Germany at the end of World War I, the annihilation of so many men, runaway inflation, as well as the sense of devil take the hindmost.
Tourists flocked to Berlin, mostly because German runaway inflation meant that everything - and everyone - was inexpensive.

 
On parade are cabarets, gay clubs, lesbian clubs, transvestite societies, nudist associations, the sex museum, drugs, alcohol, S&M and prostitutes, legions of prostitutes - male, female, mother & daughter combos, pregnant females, obese types, deformed or paraplegic, sugar lickers, racehorses, grasshoppers, half-beavers, gravelstones, kontroll girls, boot girls, half silks . . .  
Of course, the inevitable backlash arrived with the rise of the National Socialist Party.
Part of the “Sin Cities” trilogy.