Love Actually - 2003 - UK

Love Actually - 2003 - 7/10

 
Zelda and I first watched this during its initial theatrical run.
Surprisingly, there were only two other couples in an otherwise empty theater.
Time has proven kind to this holiday bonbon, now is a staple in many homes.
Stories interweave.  Comical, romantic, poignant, frustrated, thwarted.
Looking past the credits, one might guess what relationships will founder, what might succeed.
Tremendous casting a major asset.  Film is overlong, but never feels that way.

Deadly Games - 1989 - France

Deadly Games - 1989 - 6/10
AKA - 3615 Code Père Noël

 
The store is short-staffed on Santas.  So they hire a street bum.
Who turns out to be unstable and dangerous.
Luckily, they realize and fire him before he can inflict further harm.
Unluckily, he learns where the boss lives and goes there to exact revenge.
Fans of Home Alone (1990) will recognize the bones of the plot.
Although this menace is deadlier, childlike and cuckooland.
There are numerous murders, and the young boy is injured, possibly scarred.
The creators of this did parody Rambo, so it’s perhaps fair play that John Hughes stole their concept.

Boulet Brothers’ Holiday Of Horrors - 2025 - USA

Boulet Brothers’ Holiday Of Horrors - 2025 - 5/10

 
Four shorts (10” each) sorta/kinda winter related.
A murdered grandma, feeling restless. Hikers, lost in the woods, and a Yeti.
Daughter inherits Pa’s home. And Santa with a big ole bag.
Three are mere sketches, pitches, if you like, that do not satisfy.
Santa’s experience, however, is the stuff of nightmares.
Parents who let underage children watch that one will suffer the consequences once they are retirement age.
Filmmakers aim for camp, yet deliver stale cookies and corny approach.

A Christmas Carol - 2024 - UK

A Christmas Carol (Read) - 2024 - 7/10

 
From “The Read” series.  Anne-Marie Duff narrates the Dickens classic.
Descriptive passages dominate, and she keys in on lesser events that most films overlook
No, she is not reading from a book, she has memorized the script.
Her voice is contemplative, inviting, never over-emotional or strident.
Clearly, this is for those who have patience to listen, and not attempting to multitask.
Very much on a par with the Simon Callow one-man play from 2018.

Looking At Christmas - 2011 - USA

Looking At Christmas - 2011 - 6/10

Christmas Eve, two strangers window shopping in Manhattan, looking at displays.
He has just been fired, she is an aspiring actor, thus far unable to land even bit parts.
New to the city, she is still upbeat, while he is burnt out.
Nevertheless, they walk from one department store to another, and share stories.
Meanwhile, after commenting on the displays, the pair leave, and mannequins come to life and comment on them.
Makings of a Rom-Com, this theatre flows like two ships in the night.
Lonely souls, sharing a few hours.

The Ice Tower - 2025 - France

The Ice Tower - 2025 - 6/10

Reasons unknown, 15-year-old Jeanne runs away from the foster home.
She makes her way to the city, where she shelters in an abandoned warehouse.
Only that turns out to be a studio, where a modern version of “The Snow Queen” is filming.

 
Jeanne, renaming herself Bianca, ingratiates herself and is soon an extra.
Where she falls under the wing – and influence – of Cristina, lead actress.
The girl confuses the fairy tale with the sets, with the performers, with her situation.

 
Visuals are striking, while the pace is glacial.  Sound is atmospheric, then excessive.
Straight-up, European arthouse circa 1975.  Know your taste and tolerance.
More mainstream would be Snow Queen (2002).

Boxing Day - 2021 - UK

Boxing Day - 2021 - 6/10

 
Georgia and Lisa meet and get along famously.
Until Georgia realizes Lisa is engaged to marry the old flame, for whom she still carries a torch.
There is also a boisterous, Jamaican / English family involved.
Everyone in everyone else’s business.
And the boyfriend / ex in question?  Hr fled two years ago to escape family.
While tagged with Christmas, this is straight up Rom-Com.
OK, depending on your tolerance for pushy families.

Christmas At The Catnip Café - 2025 - USA

Christmas At The Catnip Café - 2025 - 5/10

 
Woo, this looks like a Hallmark card.  That’s because it’s a Hallmark Christmas movie.
Living with felines and feline staff, I KNEW this one would load in the rotation.
California businesswoman inherits a half-share of a cat café in upstate New York.
She just needs the other owner, a self-effacing vet, to sell out so she can buy the condo of her dreams!
Cats?  Schmats!  Send ‘em to the pound or the testing labs!
Predictable romance to the point of insulting the audience.
If players would only act like folks do in real life … then we’d have horror narcissism.

Midnight Clear - 2017 - USA

Midnight Clear - 2017 - 6/10

 
Dad loves Christmas.  He also exhibits simmering anger this year.
Add a wee bit of instability, and Dad frightens his wife and children.
Family traditions ain’t always what they’re cracked up to be.
Short film, stick for the twist.
Holiday fare for Grinch and Krampus celebrants.

Lucy Worsley's Christmas Carol Odyssey - 2019 - UK

Lucy Worsley's Christmas Carol Odyssey - 2019 - 6/10

 
Always sigh inducing when a presenter puts their own name first and foremost.
Historian Lucy Worsley sweeps the songs from pagan into Medieval into the Great War.
Admittedly, the earlier Wassail songs seem more fun, their stories not over-told.
Plenty of carols in this, also a fair bit of fill to pad the time length.
Good as atmosphere, purring in the background while revels are ongoing.
For the more adventurous, check out The Unthanks: A Very English Winter (2012).

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - 2005 - USA

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - 2005 - 6/10  

 
It’s a downright shame.  In fact, it stinks, this being the Christmas week.
Lockhart, fleeing from a botched robbery, somehow gets cast in a Hollywood movie.
The role, a detective.  Training him will be a real PI, Gay Perry.
Poolside, Lockhart eyes the hotties, just before he is involved with murders.
While something of a shaggy dog yarn, there are multiple narratives and backstories.
The root is pulp fiction, with hardboiled dicks, lost femmes, broken dreams.
Humor very dark in this, with Downey a scattered, unreliable narrator.
Val Kilmer floors it as the cynical, barb wielding shamus.
Ain’t much Yule here, aside from Santa and cocktail waitresses resembling Hugh Hefner’s wet dream.

It’s A Wonderful Knife - 2023 - USA

It’s A Wonderful Knife - 2023 - 4/10

 
The sinister  Angel Of Death launches a series of murders during Christmas.
After two kills, high schooler Winnie snuffs him – and – look who our killer is!
One year later, the town of Angel Falls has moved on, save for Winnie, who is miserable.
So miserable, she wishes she had never been born.  And lo, it is granted.
Soon, without Winnie, the town suffers a reign of blood.
Intriguing premise, mutating the classic It’s A Wonderful Life (1946) into a slasher.
The script is poor, however, ranging from Hallmark to ignorance of the horror subgenre.
Direction is clunky, unimaginative and dull, lacking humor, style, thrust and reverence for the genre.
A lot could have done with this concept, pity it was handled by the inept.

Once Upon A Murdoch Christmas - 2016 - Canada

Once Upon A Murdoch Christmas - 2016 - 6/10

 
During holiday revels, the rich. I mean really rich, are being robbed.
Their gifts are pawned or exchanged, the resultant funds used for practical necessities.
The Toronto force investigates, but the thieves are technologically advanced.
Indeed, for fans of steampunk, there are outrageous gadgets and scenes.
Despite that, the plot is overly schmaltzy, and saccharine to disbelief.
Side plots are even more corny.
Escapist Christmas fare, lacking edge, yet fine for family viewing.

This Is Christmas - 2022 - UK

This Is Christmas - 2022 - 7/10  

 
“Since we all take the same train every day, I’d like to invite you to the first annual Christmas party for passengers in this compartment.”
Ah, the chance gesture of goodwill and holiday bonhomie.  Inviting absolute, total strangers.
Adam’s cynical girlfriend warns they are likely psychopaths, drooling homeless, or insistent fundamentalists.
Nevertheless, he feels somewhat unmoored this season and reaches out.
British Rom-Com manages to be farfetched and predictable.
Yet, it is a charming, feel-good story, and one of the best ones in the past few years.
Hallmark has so saturated the season with syrup and formula, it is worthwhile to mention rare quality.

Violent Night - 2022 - USA

Violent Night - 2022 - 6/10

 
Santa, disillusioned with another crop of holiday ingrates, gets sodden at the pub.
Before climbing into the sleigh and later inadvertently crashing an unmerry heist.
High tech band of thieves have invaded the maximum security fortress of the ultra rich.
Bludgeoned proceedings are stuffed with black-humored comedy.
Couple of mushy bits that sog the dash-along pace, but these are few.
For those who appreciate Yule mayhem, there are nods to perennial favorites.
Prefer Christmas crimson of the splashed kind?
Suffer no guilt.

Fatman - 2020 - USA

Fatman - 2020 - 6/10

 
In a world of limited to no consequences, it is unsurprising Santa is dispensing more coal than toys.
Chris is also suffering a crisis of faith, although wife Ruth tries to rally his cheer.
Add a wealthy, spoiled, sore-loser of a little boy, furious with his lump of coal.
Who hires a professional hitman to snuff the fatman.
Needless to say, there is a lot going on in this rambling holiday fantasy.
It does coalesce somewhat, yet the focus is not on Yule.
An odd film, not the first choice for family viewing, unless your kids giggle at a rising body count.
If so, perhaps anthracite may be fill future stockings.

Home For The Holidays - 1972 - USA

 Home For The Holidays - 1972 - 6/10

 
No, not the Thanksgiving classic with Holly Hunter and Robert Downey.
Here, Pa summons his estranged daughters to his bedside.
The girls blame their odious-to-the-core father for their mother’s suicide.
“My new wife!”  he wails.  “She’s poisoning me!”
“So, what do you want us to do about it?”
“Why, kill her!”
There are a few decorated trees, one of the females hums a carol.
Otherwise, this is a knock-em-off whodunit.
Bland made-for-TV movie, wasting a terrific cast.

Christmas Carole - 2022 - UK

Christmas Carole - 2022 - 6/10

 
Sour holiday bon-bon starts with a flourish, adds extras throughout, ends in treacle.
Carole, president of her company, sells Christmas tat.  Junk.
Overpriced festive twaddle, guaranteed to break and need replacing.
Yuletide profits, you dreamers.
Her merchandise is disposable, as are her employees.
Owing to numerous references, this is for Brits and Anglophiles.
(Test:  Are you familiar with Morecambe and Wise?)
First two-thirds are pure gold, final act is the equivalent of penalty kicks.
English subtitles = https://subscene.cam/subtitle/3245914

Red Snow - 2021 - USA

Red Snow - 2021 - 5/10

 
Mid-Winter, a bat crashes into a windowpane, falls into the snow, bleeding.
I don’t know about you, but I would summon one of my cats and say,  “Hey, snacks.”
Olivia, however, rescues the mite infested, rabies carrying varmint, and soon discovers it’s a vampire!
Slow boil horror flirts with Twilight territory, although the tone stays light and amused.
Respect to the crew for a smart, sharp film on a minuscule budget.
Ending is poorly thought out.
Despite holiday tropes, this is not the Yule beast you were hoping for.

Saint - 2010 - Netherlands

Saint - 2010 - 6/10  
AKA - Sint

 
Every time December 5th occurs during a full moon, Saint Nicholas reemerges.
Not the jovial bearer of gifts, but the malevolent plunderer.  Of children and adults.
Even though this is Amsterdam, snow laden streets and quays seem deserted.
Expect brutal dismemberments, along with splittings, yet little blood.
Scare factor is quite low, as is the humor.
Entertaining while watching, but little more.
Another lump of coal for your Holiday Horror mix.