Warm Bodies - 2014 - USA

Warm Bodies - 2014 - 6/10

 
To paraphrase the oft moaned female lament,
“He couldn’t keep it up.”
Zombie film as told from a detached, wry, dryly humorous soul.
Hmm, do zombies even possess souls?
Pointedly funny, satirical contrast of those disconnected vs. those dead.
Thirty minutes on, love enters the narrative and the edge wilts.
Movie turns romantic, then preachy, ultimately sappy.
For zombie gourmands, very few unhappy meals in this one.

Possessed - 2009 - S Korea

Possessed - 2009 - 6/10
AKA - Bulsinjiok // 불신지옥

 
Korean horror / thriller / mystery.
Young woman starts investigating disappearance of sister from skanky apartment complex.
Residents are alcoholics, religious nuts, nervous sorts.
Doesn’t help that since the girl went missing, they have started dying, one by one.
First half of film packed with symbolism, which yields to conflicts between faith and superstition.
Went from mystery to obsession.  The transition is weak and my interest wavered in the second half.
Gray and cold looking film casts an air of melancholy throughout.
Film also known as Living Death, Disbelief Hell, Hell Of The Non Believers, the latter makes more sense.

It! The Terror From Beyond Space - 1958 - USA

It! The Terror From Beyond Space - 1958 - 5/10

 
No, from Mars, dammit.  Not beyond space, Mars.
Sheesh, talk about misleading titles.
Supposedly the template for Alien which was why I picked this howler.
Not that I need any help, I select bad films all the time.
So ... our spacecraft gets stuck on Mars and waits six months (!!) for rescue ship.
Only the captain survives and he is to be taken back to Earth for court martial.
Ship carries a stowaway, however.  It!
Creature begins to hunt and kill crew one by one.  Especially in the ducts.
For an interplanetary vessel, the ship is well stocked with pistols, rifles, grenades, even a bazooka!
During battles, I was yelling about explosions and oxygen.  What do I know?
OK enough late night time waster, but for fans wanting an Alien fix, this ain’t it.

Santo And Vengeance Of The Mummy - 1970 - Mexico

Santo And Vengeance Of The Mummy - 1970 - 5/10
AKA - Santo en la Venganza de la Momia

 
An ancient tomb is discovered deep in the Mexican jungle and a expedition team is assembled.
Professors, overseers, chef, porters, camera girl, secretary, and a masked wrestler.
You never know when you might need those luche libra skills, and need them bad.
Warning outside the crypt:  Do not enter lest the curse --- Of course they enter.
Then on the Olmec mummy:  Do not touch the sacred necklace or --- They remove the necklace.
Deaths follow soon and often, as the mummy proves adept with bow and arrow.
Plot races by, and the mummy back story has stock footage of an uncredited Aztec movie.
Wrestling matches in Mexico City Arena bookend the film.

Blood From The Mummy’s Tomb - 1971 - UK

Blood From The Mummy’s Tomb - 1971 - 5/10

 
Large cast of familiar Hammer players wasted in Egyptian reincarnation theme.
Professor’s beautiful daughter keeps having dreams about Egyptian princess, with whom she bears an uncanny resemblance.
The mummy, in the care of the professor, is stunningly preserved.
No moldy, rotting strips of cloth.  No, sir.
The dead princess wears a few radiant silks and gold jewelry covering strategic areas.
Otherwise, she is all flawless skin and most of that exposed.
The plot is stale formula, pace is lethargic, the sets quite cheap looking, camera work static.
Definitely not up the usual Hammer standards.
Watchable if alternatives are shopping channel or Ask The Celebrity.

You’ll Find Out - 1940 - USA

You’ll Find Out - 1940 - 5/10

 
Wasted opportunity in this musical / comedy / horror / mystery mishmash.
Old dark mansion, perched on a cliff over a pounding surf, under thunder and lightning skies, provide the setting for young girl’s 21st birthday party.
Kay Kyser and his Kollege Of Musical Knowledge provide the entertainment, and is also, sadly, the chief focus of the film.
Kyser and bandmates seem too old for their slapstick and silly antics.  Musical numbers are unmemorable.
Plot creeps along, the humor is flat out corny.
Rather young and earnest Dennis O'Keefe (future Noir stalwart) is underused.
The three main villains, though, really shine.  They steal every single scene, and effortlessly ooze the sinister, the conniving, the scheming.

No ifs - ands - or buts - the film ought to have been about this trio of old pros.

Heartless - 2009 - UK

Heartless - 2009 - 5/10

 
Gloomy horror.
Photographer with disfiguring heart-shaped birthmark on his face roams London’s midnight streets.
Sees murderers under hoodies in action.
Hold on.  Are those lizards under the hoodies?
Next, he is summoned by a demon.  A proposal is extended, in exchange for services.
This really ought to be fun times, but the protagonist is a downer.
Even when he scores, he screws up.
Needs more lizards, less thinking.

The Woman In Black 2: Angel Of Death - 2014 - UK

The Woman In Black 2:  Angel Of Death - 2014 - 4/10

 
The cursed house out on the moors returns.
Timeline has moved to 1941.  London children are being relocated to escape the height of the Blitz.
Two women are in charge of about eight kids, one of whom was orphaned in a bomb raid the night before.
The younger woman senses something is the house is not quite right, and investigates noises in the middle of the night.  The nearby village offers hints, but that gets ignored in the story.
Children squabble, children perish.
Sadly, that pretty much describes the entire plot.
Scares are all gotcha stings, as you couldn’t care less about a single character.
Cheap, pathetic Horror film, that follows the laziest, sleaziest route - placing children in danger.
Writers, producers, director - all ought to be shunned for two years for that.
Clever photography masks shoddy sets and budget production values.
Ostensibly a Hammer film, it is dark and murky throughout.  None of the legendary Hammer color here.

Throwback - 2013 - Australia

Throwback - 2013 - 4/10

 
Noticed this dubious winner on the shelf, read terrible reviews.
Grabbed it anyway.  Marshmallow for brains here.
Of particular note was writer / director / producer = same name.
Likewise producer / star.  Small cast alert.
Australian bush prospectors are hunting for lost treasure of legendary Thunderclap Newman.
They find treasure relatively easily, but then they get found by the Yowie.
Think Sasquatch, Bigfoot, Yeti.  Huge furry creature who must be miserable under the Australia sun.
Beautiful photography cannot overcome dreadful editing.
Almost every single scene goes on two - three beats too long.  Whole film is padded.
Minimal verbal exchanges, which is OK, but also minimal action and no twists or decent story telling.

The Swallow And Titmouse - 1924 - France

The Swallow And Titmouse - 1924 - 7/10
AKA - L'Hirondelle et la Mésange

The two men seem to get along fine,  Captain Pierre and new hand Michel.
Pierre has two barges, the afore mentioned Swallow and Titmouse.
They ply the canals between Antwerp and northern France.
Moving construction goods – and perhaps a bit of smuggling.
Of which the smiling, obliging Michel is determinedly curious.

 
Film may be too slow for some, enthralling for others.
The restoration is superb.  The music, evoking a liquid current, marries well.
Most of all are the images of lost habits, parades, exteriors.
Postcard views of the world between wars, which WWII would erase.

Gimme The Loot - 2012 - USA

Gimme The Loot - 2012 - 6/10

 
Graffiti artists Malcolm and Sophia labor all night on a new mural,only to see it completely tagged and defaced the next day by rival gangs.
Their newest “exhibition” is to sneak into Mets ballpark and tag the home run sign.
Oh, and they need $500.  Easier said than done.
Bleak comedy trails the rather amoral pair as they steal cans of spray paint, only to get robbed and hustled themselves.
For those who think New York is Sex And The City, this is a refreshing dose of reality.
Quite a fun show.  (Best get subtitles.  Hood slang is hard to follow sometimes.)

Britain's Great War - 2014 - UK

Britain's Great War - 2014 - NA (not finished)

 
Documentary on World War I that I had been looking forward to viewing.
Jeremy Paxman, who  wrote the acclaimed book on which this is based, is the presenter.
Alas, he is too much of a good thing, at least for me.
Maybe I am getting tired of the presenter / tour guide format.
Mr Paxman is seems to be in almost every single scene.
His dead serious expression and over earnest delivery usurp maps, newsreels, archived interviews.
It's not like I have not seen WWI docs before, I have watched plenty.  A few I have recommended.
Not this one, however.  The omnipresent tour guide wore me out.

Stax-Volt Revue - 1967 - USA

Stax-Volt Revue - 1967 - 8/10

 
Video quality is soft, audio is sufficient.
Nevertheless, this captures one of the greatest live shows ever!
Artists include Booker T & The MG’s, Eddie Floyd, Sam & Dave, Otis Redding.
Each act pours on passion and intensity, as each act must follow and top the preceding.
Leaving Otis, the headliner, and at the peak of his career, to bring the audience to their knees.
An absolute must for classic Soul fans.

Paddington 2 - 2017 - UK

Paddington 2 - 2017 - 7/10

 
I certainly never thought a Paddington film would ever grace my screen again.
Especially after I roundly disparaged the first outing, which seemed modeled on the cartoon series.
This has the heart and charm of Bond's books and stories, though.
Paddington works jobs and saves money to buy a book for his Aunt Lucy, still in the Home For Retired Bears.
The book, a pop-up affair, is stolen, and Paddington and the Brown family get involved.
A gallery of guest stars and cameos add to the fast moving enjoyment.
Listen hard enough, and you can almost hear Michael Hordern narrating.

Paddington - 2014 - UK

Paddington - 2014 - 6/10

 
Fun children's movie, though not necessarily for children of all ages.
Paddington the bear, stows away on a cargo ship from darkest Peru to visit the London explorer who met his aunt and uncle decades earlier.
In London, he meets the Brown family and has adventures.
Highly enjoyable for those in the room who had never read any of Michael Bond’s stories, or for those who had never seen any of the shorts narrated by Michael Hordern.
Seasoned fans thought this a dumbed down version.
One viewer even took issue with Paddington’s hat.  Red, which seems to have originated with the cartoon series.
Therein is the short answer - This movie has its roots in the cartoons.
Paddington is foolish, almost ridiculous in this version, but the storyline was approved by author Bond (cameo - man waving at bear).

Ingrid Goes West - 2017 - USA

Ingrid Goes West - 2017 - 6/10

 
Whiny song of the modern era wannabee.
Ingrid craves "Likes," wants "Followers," needs acceptance, demands recognition of her ... of her what?
Of her specialness.
She travels west, begins to stalk an online celebrity who cannot number all her followers.
Ingrid ingratiates herself and tries, so desperately hard, to be part, to be accepted, to be valued.
Marketed as a black comedy, this is more a cringe inducing portrayal of an undernourished soul.
Cannot say I enjoyed, but this is oddly compelling.  Like observing the slow trainwreck in all its agony.

Fast Workers - 1933 - USA

Fast Workers - 1933 - 5/10

 
Muddled Pre-Code drama of high-steel buddies, Gunner and Bucker.
Both crisscross the Depression landscape and dally with women, one for kicks, one for love.
Bucker falls for a gold-digging sharpie, not knowing she is one of Gunner’s casuals.
Vitaphone (Warners) might have done something with this;  MGM seems clueless.
Robert Armstrong shines as the gullible romantic, Mae Clarke the opportunistic tart.
I watched this poorly received movie for a couple reasons.
One, John Gilbert, Silent star, has-been in the Talkies because of a high, effeminate voice.
Not so, it sounded totally fine.
Two, Tod Browning, this was the film he was assigned after Freaks.
Both men were on a career plunge.

The Past - 2013 - France

The Past - 2013 - 7/10
AKA - Le Passé

 
Estranged husband arrives from Tehran to give wife her Paris divorce.
There, he meets her current - younger - boyfriend de jour.
Also the man’s son, as well as his wife’s daughters by previous marriages.
Ma’s bounced around a bit.
Gradually, secrets emerge about the older daughter’s fury, and the boyfriend’s comatose wife.
Not a fun film, but well acted from an intelligent, adult script.
Shot in suburbs far from touristy Paris.
Nice to see Iranians not cast as terrorists or zealots.

Royal Cousins At War - 2014 - UK

Royal Cousins At War - 2014 - 8/10

 
Excellent documentary of the rivalries, jealousies, and petty bickering between cousins George, Nicholas, and Wilhelm.
The future king, czar, and kaiser.  Actions and reactions that would gather into World War I.
Much stems from childhood, from dismissive fathers, to a pair of Danish mothers who nursed a grudge.
Numerous what-ifs are here, such as what if ministers had allowed the alliance between Germany and Russia?
The Great War is barely touched upon, there are other docs for that.
This excels in highlighting the key royals who might have been able to avert the bloody conflict.

The Tribulations Of Balthazar Kober - 1988 - Poland

The Tribulations Of Balthazar Kober - 1988 - 7/10
AKA - Niezwykla Podróz Baltazara Kobera

Balthazar, not so much a simpleton as an uncomplicated soul, is already marked.
He talks with dead family members, and at times is guided by the angel Gabriel.

 
Excuse me, archangel Gabriel.  And the Devil, genial, perhaps helpful, lingers nearby.
Balthazar’s role involves a path.  Naturally, this betokes a mission, which he barely grasps.
He is soon caught between the Holy Inquisition, an underground resistance, and a circus troupe.
Various guides include a puppet master, a gentleman merchant, a harp strumming lovely.
Throughout, I kept wondering how much was an oblique commentary on current Polish events.
(Poland was then breaking Soviet shackles, replacing one onerous ism with another.)

Muscle Shoals - 2013 - USA

Muscle Shoals - 2013 - 6/10

 
Elusive documentary about famed Alabama studios, mother lode of Southern swamp ‘n Delta blues.
Lots of music clips, as well as recollections / thoughts from Jagger, Richards, Bono, Aretha, Pickett, Sledge, Wexler.
Also the original Swampers and FAME studio chief, Rick Hall.
After awhile, every time Hall started talking, we braced for the next tragedy:  Ma, brother, wife, Pa, one by one the Reaper picked ‘em off.  Kept waiting for Old Shep to buy it.
FAME began to dry up in the 70’s, not mentioned in doc.  The Swampers’ Muscle Shoals Sound Studio was sold in ‘85, likewise not mentioned.
Incredible amount of hits referenced - “When A Man Loves A Woman” “Land Of 1000 Dances” “Brown Sugar” “Main Street” “Kodachrome” “Respect” “Patches” “Tell Mama” “Mustang Sally” and “Sweet Home Alabama”
Highly entertaining, perhaps depending on your age and memories.