Queens Of Evil - 1970 - Italy

Queens Of Evil - 1970 - 6/10 
AKA - Le Regine

 
Free spirit David helps a wealthy man with his flat tire.
The older man talks of how freedom is hopeless against the scented petals of intoxicating females.
Soon enough, David is forced to take a detour and reaches a lonely house with three sisters.
One is lusty and savage, the other intellectual, the third innocent and demur.
He keeps meaning to push on, finds excuses to remain.
Even as the air of strangeness about the environment unsettles him.
Moody, languid film, steeped in atmosphere, with horror at the periphery.

The Bird With The Crystal Plumage - 1970 - Italy

The Bird With The Crystal Plumage - 1970 - 6/10 
AKA - L'uccello dalle Piume di Cristallo

 
Sam has writer’s block, so he heads to Rome with his English model girlfriend.
After witnessing and intervening in an attempted murder, he foolishly “gets involved.”
Sam begins investigating on his own.
So much so, that the assassin warns him, and threatens his English bird.
Does he listen?  Please.
Argento debut film is a tour de force, bristling with style and flourishes.

Der Bomberpilot - 1970 - Germany

Der Bomberpilot - 1970 - 5/10 

 
Near the end of the Third Reich, the cabaret trio keep performing.
After the war, they struggle together and independently to find work.
Pastry shop, stenographer, one seeks a position at a retirement home for dogs. 
Eventually, they reform as a cabaret trio, reviving their old act for Yanks.
Audio is out of sync (deliberately), numerous wardrobe malfunctions.
Tone ranges from comic to ironic to jeering.
English subtitles = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3373033

Patton - 1970 - USA

Patton - 1970 - 7/10 

 
Detailed overview of the flamboyant US tank general during World War II.
Not a biography, but a narrow view of 1942-1945.
Perceptive view of the flawed human, and the military genius.
Long (almost 3 hours), yet absorbing, punctuated with ferocious battle scenes.
George C. Scott deservedly won an Oscar.
Scott’s dominance overshadows other actors, almost the film itself.

Airport - 1970 - USA

Airport - 1970 - 6/10 

 
All star cast in this Grand Hotel in the sky.
An overworked airport administrator, philandering pilot, suicidal passenger, blizzard. 
Based on Arthur Hailey novel, this piles on characters and jeopardies.
Slow buildup examines motivations and backstories may gall the impatient.
Exciting in its day, spawned a string of “disaster” films.
Frequent flyers today, check out the leg room in coach!

Fear Has 1000 Eyes - 1970 - Sweden

Fear Has 1000 Eyes - 1970 - 6/10
AKA - Skräcken har 1000 ögon // Sensuous Sorceress

 
Expecting her first child, Anna is broody, suffers nightmares, sees “things”.
A companion, Hedvig, is hired, who is uncannily attuned to Anna.
The two bond, yet while Anna slips into lethargy, Hedvig goes to work.
Hedvig is a witch, motivations unknown, who practices effigy magic and sexual predation.
Like most men, the husband is clueless, even as Hedvig rides him at night.
Excellent cinematography, deft sense of place, unhindered nudity.
Be prepared for a strolling pace, however.

Hollywood Horror House - 1970 - USA

Hollywood Horror House - 1970 - 6/10

 
Straight off, there is a serial killer dismembering ladies in Hollywood.
Next, we view the wayward man hop off the sightseeing bus (driven by Joe Besser).
The mansion is owned by a recluse from the Golden Age, living with memories and alcohol.
Plotting could be tighter, the pace quicker.
Nevertheless, Miriam Hopkins revels in juicy role (her last), Gale Sondergaard gives starchy support.
Plus, plus, you get a peekaboo tour, inside and out, of the old Norma Talmadge estate.
Psychedelic 60’s visuals intersperse proceedings.  A guilty pleasure.

Flesh Feast - 1970 - USA

Flesh Feast - 1970 - 3/10

 
Grade-D nonsense, that I knew beforehand was atrocious, but I was coaxed.
Veronica Lake (final film role) as the mad Dr. Frederick, who experiments with maggots.
The goal?  Restore youthful appearance, if not youth, to the subjects.
How’s that grab ya?  Let maggots crawl around your face.
Cheap by every imaginable standard.  Film seems to be shot in one house, with one camera.
Characters deliver lines in monotone, with zero interplay.  Amateur hour all the way.
Final five minutes sizzle, unless you have glanced at 99% of reviews, in turgid twaddle.

Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp - 1970 - USA

Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp - 1970 - 5/10

 
So, late at night, past 2:00 AM, you’re so hammered you cannot fall asleep or pass out.
Switch on late night TV, endless river of mindless dreck.
You jump channels until you reach a nightclub where a chimpanzee band is performing.
Until you realize this hopping joint is a meeting place for spies.
Good agents APE versus baddies CHUMP.
Beyond weird, Lance Link could only have emerged at the tail end of the 60’s.
My brain eventually seized, as I wondered: they play instruments, drive cars, ride motorcycles.
Someone trained them?  Why aren’t they in politics?

Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls - 1970 - USA

Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls - 1970 - 7/10

 
“This is my happening and it freaks me out!”
In-name sequel to 1967 soaper of Jacqueline Susann’s blockbuster novel.
Russ Meyer and Roger Ebert deliver a giddy parody that improves with the years.
Female rock’n’roll trio Kelly Affair travel to decadent Los Angeles for fame, fortune, sex and drugs.
Their manager ain’t up to snuff, so Z-Man Barzell (stunning John LaZar) takes charge.
What are there, 12 narratives?  All of them mad.
The pace is blistering, and, for a campy spoof, everyone is dead-faced (aside from Z-Man).
Tamer today, yet still wonderful!

Crowhaven Farm - 1970 - USA

Crowhaven Farm - 1970 - 6/10

 
Maggie was not supposed to inherit the farm, but forces intervened.
Indeed, Fate’s hand casts its shadow throughout her time at the farm.
She keeps having flashbacks of, perhaps, an incarnation 300 years earlier.
Something to do with witch trials, torture, betrayal.
Meanwhile, her marriage is troubled owing to an insecure and jealous husband.
An early TV movie, clearly lensed in California, has pacing problems and a loose story.
Hope Lange miscast as the young wife, Cindy Eilbacher memorable as the grudge holding Jennifer.

Vampire Lovers - 1970 - UK

Vampire Lovers - 1970 - 6/10  

 
The new neighbor arrives at the General’s ball only to be summoned away for an emergency.
Nonetheless, could the General take care of her ward, Marcilla?  Of course!
And Marcilla, endears herself to the General’s niece, Laura, who soon weakens and dies.
Jump ahead.
After a coach crash, the hurrying ladyship agrees to entrust her niece, Carmilla, to another family.
And daughter Emma begins to waste away.
Stylish Hammer outing, Gothic settings, period costumes, rampant with lesbian overtones.
Le Fanu’s novella has been filmed numerous times, including a recent version in 2019.

Walk The Walk - 1970 - USA

Walk The Walk - 1970 - 5/10

 
Film opens as the heroin addict struggles with the monkey.
From the religious iconography, we soon realize he is a seminary student.
That’s right before he goes to a zonked out hippie party to score more –
And instead he picks up a floozy redhead, or maybe she scores him.
Numerous set-pieces in this, no narrative, no coherence.
Bernie Hamilton (later the captain of Starsky & Hutch) is the only capable actor.
Most of the dialogue appears to be looped.
For those who like weird or bad cinema, this calls for you.
Lovingly restored by Nicolas Winding Refn.

Heads For Sale - 1970 - Hong Kong

Heads For Sale - 1970 - 6/10
AKA - Nü Xia Mai Ren Tou // 女俠賣人頭

 
After Pi-Lien marriage proposal is rejected, she enters the young lord’s villa, swords at hand.
Things simmer down once he tries to make amends.
Just as well, since thugs and bullies are multiplying, with heroes short in supply.
Shaw Brothers film has numerous fights, even more characters – I could not keep track.
As ever, the choreography is something to marvel at.
The title is a misnomer, since this is an actioner, though it would be perfect for a retail horror shop.
Mid-tier from the studio, yet it will keep you awake after 2:00 AM.

The Boys In The Band - 1970 - USA

The Boys In The Band - 1970 - 6/10

 
Manhattan, Michael is having a birthday party for Harold, and various friends.
The party is male, the men mostly professional, all gay, although some closeted.
Compress time, and the jeers and taunts emerge, turning uglier.).
I first saw this in the 70’s, and I found it melodramatic and slow.
Nevertheless, it was edgy, since most gays were still in the closet at that time.
Now, the theatrical roots are evident, and the pace is downright ponderous.
Good for studying the acting, but not light entertainment, nor a date film (which is what I was on in ’76 when I first watched this).

The Lickerish Quartet - 1970 - Italy

The Lickerish Quartet - 1970 - 6/10  

 
The wealthy gentry depart their castle to stroll the visiting circus / carnival.
One of the performers is a daredevil cyclist, who, after removing the helmet, eerily resembles the female in an erotic film the family had been viewing previously.
Naturally, they invite her back inside the stone walls for a get-to-know you session.
Beautiful locations, attractive cast, and a strange plot of misdeeds and fantasy.
Arthouse softcore, for connoisseurs of such, suffers from slow pacing.
To be honest, I imagine one is supposed to observe and ponder the proceedings.
Early Radley Metzger that I have viewed several times, still unable to grasp, if I am even supposed to.

The Bloody Judge - 1970 - Italy

The Bloody Judge - 1970 - 5/10
AKA - Il Trono di Fuoco

 
The original Hanging Judge, highly active during the time of James II, the Monmouth Rebellion and Bloody Assizes.
Judge Jeffreys tries, sentences and executes witches, and those suspected of being witches.
Along with those implicated in the Monmouth Rebellion, or suspected of being involved.
Or those accused, rightly or wrongly.
Period costume drama looks fine (except cheap battle sequences).  Courtroom theatrics overblown.
Director Jess Franco adds nudity, bloody torture, sex and cannibalism to liven up things.
Christopher Lee delivers a hammy performance (during one scene, stunt hands are used).

Assignment Terror - 1970 - Spain

Assignment Terror - 1970 - 5/10
AKA - Los Monstruos del Terror

 
Lo, advance agents from planet Ummo, 14 lights years distant.
Mission, make Earth suitable for colonization after obliterating humankind.
Easy, correct?  The can impersonate humans, have mastered interstellar travel, plus, check out all that cool gear behind the pair.  Lights, SciFi equipment, tube amplifiers, other gadgets.
So, their master plan?
Resurrect a vampire, a werewolf, mummy, and the Frankenstein monster.
Next, unleash the beasts!
If you can accept that premise, you probably watch a lot of similar junk.

Five Easy Pieces - 1970 - USA

Five Easy Pieces - 1970 - 7/10

 
Oil rigger Bobby works the fields, rolls with buddy Elton, sashays with Rayette.
Elton gets arrested, Rayette is preggers, Bobby goes to visit his sister in Los Angeles.
Film grows into a contrast of class, which Americans don’t like to consider.
Bobby, once upon a time, was Robert, promising Classical pianist.
While he fled that upper class world, its pressures and anxieties, he cannot escape the baggage.
Baggage being his family, along with Rayette, a simple soul with whom he has nothing in common.
More of an arthouse hit, Nicholson searing as the wayward son, trapped between conformist worlds.
Karen Black likewise outstanding as Rayette, not white trash, merely an ignorant innocent.

The Hateful Beast - 1970 - Japan

The Hateful Beast - 1970 - 6/10
AKA - Nihon Bôkô Ankokushi: Onjû  // 日本暴行暗黒史 怨獣

 
Two vagabond criminals arrive in the village from Edo.
One seeks dishonest coin, the other murderous revenge.
First things first, the angry one murders a prostitute and tries to frame an old adversary.
Here, events are interesting: as the two foes tell the same tale – differently.  And it is never clarified.
Heady amount of sex throughout, fitting since sex and female betrayal permeate the history.
Brooding tale, borrows from Noir with characters doomed by Fate, personal wounds, flawed assumptions.