The Village Of Eight Gravestones - 1977 - Japan

The Village Of Eight Gravestones - 1977 - 7/10
AKA - Yatsuhaka-Mura  //  八つ墓村

1566.  Fleeing defeat of their clan, eight samurai warriors hide in an isolated village.
Safe, until the villagers murder them.  Dying, the warriors curse the village.

 
Airport employee Tatsuya’s presence is requested at his childhood village.
The head of the family is running out of time, and the heir is the distantly related Tatsuya.
Within the isolated area, resentment simmers, along with envy.
And apparently, the centuries old curse remains in force, targeting Tatsuya’s family.
Atmospheric thriller doles out mysteries, shadowy characters, and high tension.
At 2+ hours, it is too long, languid at times, though there is a memorable cave sequence.

The Cellar - 2022 - Ireland

The Cellar - 2022 - 6/10

 
“Yes, the house is immense!  We picked it up for a song, too.  Fully furnished, can you imagine?
“Oh, the previous owners?  Not sure, really.  Something happened, I heard.  Unpleasantness.”
Too late, the new owners start to delve into the history.
Try to educate themselves on the myriad of strange symbols that embellish the interior.
While the bones are derivative, give the writers B for effort, incorporating mathematics into the mix.
Explanations, resolutions are poor to nonexistent.
The portrait of the founder, could that an  homage to Aickman?
Laymon torchbearers, this is not the cellar you were hoping for.

Lambert And Stamp - 2014 - UK

Lambert And Stamp - 2014 - 6/10

 
Split side documentary of duo who managed The Who, detailing the calculated rise followed by litigation.
Doc can be divided into “before Tommy” and “after Tommy.”
Meaning it is entertaining and absorbing up to that point, as the group struggles to strike maximum success.
Mostly talking head interviews, clippings, old footage, usual documentary material.
After Tommy hurls the group into Rock’s upper echelon, the narrative begins to skip over details.
There was a falling out, that is not clearly explored nor explained.
At one point the pair were discharged for “mismanagment,” though Stamp loudly protested.
Internet research indicates Mr Lambert had been skimming royalties for a substance problem.
Embezzlement?
The whole second half is filled with unanswered questions.  When did Lambert die?  Where?  What causes?
In one scene, why did Daltrey refuse to talk with Stamp in the garden?
Stamp also died in 2012 - no mention is made of that.
Hardcore Who fans will likely enjoy this more than average viewers.
Bear in mind, this is a documentary about the managers, not the group itself.

The Trygon Factor - 1966 - UK

The Trygon Factor - 1966 - 6/10

The posh manor is inhabited by eccentric aristocrats and a nunnery.
A curious alliance, which, nevertheless, draws in the tourists.
Meantime, a string of explosive robberies are occurring in London.
Before long, random corpses appear.
A lone inspector smells something amiss at the stately manor.

 
Edgar Wallace Krimi set in late 1960’s England.
Plot is a kind word for the erratic narrative
Cast includes Stewart Granger, Susan Hampshire and Robert Morley.
Silly, confusing, but slickly made, and I must confess I enjoyed watching.

Betta, The Gipsy - 1918 - UK

Betta, The Gipsy - 1918 - 5/10

 
Creaky Silent of gypsies and gentry.
Leader of the travelers is Tempestro, who demands Betta marry him, lest he reveal her secret!
Tempestro is a bully, physically violent, and not above child kidnapping.
Story jumps around (missing reels?), and I had trouble separating female characters.
The version I saw, from CINEMATEK, offered live, onscreen piano accompaniment, although inter-titles were in French, overlaid with Dutch hardsubs.

Hitler’s Island Fortress - 2011 - UK

Hitler’s Island Fortress - 2011 - 6/10

 
Should be of interest to History buffs and the curious.
Archaeologists unearth Nazi gun placements on Jersey.
They do a three day dig to get an inkling of what the fortifications looked like.
A few uncomfortable interviews with aging survivors, shell casings, guesses on layouts.
Otherwise, filler.
This is NOT a doc covering the years Jersey was occupied, from 1940 - 1945.

You're Dead Hélène - 2021 - Belgium

You're Dead Hélène - 2021 - 7/10
AKA - T'es Morte Hélène

 
Maxime has a problem.  His girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, Hélène.
Ex as in, well, she’s in the afterlife – or ought to be.
Instead, she is with Maxime.  In the subway, in the cafe, on his dates.
Watching, commenting.
Stellar short rolls the gamut.  Funny, sexy, gory horror, heartbreak.
Intelligent and insightful example of more with less.

The Electrical Life Of Louis Wain - 2021 - UK

The Electrical Life Of Louis Wain - 2021 - 6/10

Devotees and acolytes of Catland, this way please!
Those going, “say what?” best move along now, nothing to see.
Exaggerated tale of a whimsical soul, Louis Wain.
Failure, out of place, out of time, a talented illustrator with zero financial sense.
After the father dies, he attempts to care for his mother and five sisters (none of whom will ever marry, ever work).
He draws prodigiously, though, and his drawings of cats become a raging success … for awhile.
The film is twee and saccharine, with too many oddish characters to remember.

 

 
I married a cat person (did I ever).
I am familiar with Catland (books, prints and postcard collections).

The Atomic Submarine - 1959 - USA

The Atomic Submarine - 1959 - 5/10

My brother phoned me yesterday, asking me to identify a film.
(My brother is the only guy I know who does not have Internet, let alone a computer.)

“It’s black n white.  Late 50's.  SciFi.  Four guys enter an alien spaceship.  One by one they get picked off.  One guy was trying to squeeze through the closing doors when ...”
I knew the scene, knew the movie.  Told him I would mail him a copy, then decided to watch.

 
Arctic undersea shipping routes are being disrupted by mysterious force.
Couple dozen cargo vessels and shipping submarines (!) have vanished.
US Navy sends their best hunter sub to investigate.
It encounters a UFO, hiding in the Arctic ocean, scouting the Earth for colonization.
Trick lighting and almost black sets disguise minuscule budget.

 
Dry, over-talky, with monotone voiceovers, and a lethargic two thirds don’t help matters.
Several familiar B-movie faces in the cast, though no one a casual viewer would recognize.
Audio commentary on DVD is actually more enjoyable.

Alice In Borderland - 2020 - Japan

Alice In Borderland - 2020 - 6/10
AKA - Imawa no Kuni no Arisu // 今際の国のアリス

 
Three friends gaze out at deserted Tokyo.
Warm car engines, cigarettes burning in ashtrays, frosty drinks still cold, but humans are gone.
Night falls, and they are summoned, as are others.
And the “games” begins.
Games of life and death, meaning winners survive, losers zzzztt!!
First 3-4 installments move crisply, the contests are inventive, characters fleshed out.
I wondered if the creative team could maintain this level.
In a word, no.  Once at the stagnant “oasis” energy plummets.
The “ending” is a Netflix ending (meaning there ain’t no ending).
The finale is drawn out, sluggish and inconclusive.  S02 is confirmed.

The Great War In Numbers - 2017 - UK

The Great War In Numbers - 2017 - 6/10

 
Six part documentary of World War I focusing on numbers.
How many bullets, how many casualties, how many shells, and how much money.
At times, this sounds like the corporate bean counter nitpicking an expense account.
The first episode, commenting on economics propelling the conflict, is interesting.
As is the final, showing discontented returning soldiers, refusing to allow the upper class to retain privilege.
Footage used throughout is poor quality, finer visuals are readily available.
Narration is well done, the music serves.
Hardly the first choice for anyone curious about this war, though should interest Great War buffs.

Beloved - 2011 - France

Beloved - 2011 - 5/10
AKA - Des Bien Aimes

 
For twenty minutes, I am enjoying this comedy, thinking, “This is why I like French films."
Then the comedy ends, followed by a two hour dirge.
Bummer.
Story starts in 1964 as young shoe clerk, working as whore on the side, meets a young doctor.
Within minutes, love leads to marriage.  Right, how many doctors pick prostitutes?
Marriage sours, then we follow her grown daughter and her relationship problems.
Throughout, narratives swing  between both tearful women.
Still curious about this doozy, French fans?  This is also a musical!  Characters sing throughout.
Song lyrics are wowzah bad -  ♫ The son of a fish is fishy ♪
Some of the dialogue is equally insane - “The beaver is sleeping?” “You know why they have a flat tail?”  “Because they were sucked by ducks.”
Swear, I’m not making this up!
Sadly ... the whole thing is a downer and a bore.  This could have been a trash masterpiece.

Cape Fear - 1991 - USA

Cape Fear - 1991 - 7/10

 
Juiced up remake of the classic 1962 thriller.
Again, released Max Cady wants revenge on the man who put him in the slammer.
His defense attorney.  And family.  And associates.
As with the original, one watches this for Max Cady, an unforgettable villain.
Whereas Mitchum’s rendition was restrained, brooding malevolence, De Niro’s is full bore.
His performance is over the top, as is the film, perhaps in keeping with 1990’s sensibilities.
Director Scorese was on a heady, creative roll during this period, and this is an intense film.

The Woman In The House Across The Street From The Girl In The Window - 2021 - USA

The Woman In The House Across The Street From The Girl In The Window - 2021 - 7/10

 
Long overdue spoof of the seemingly endless string of Hallmark Mystery films.
Anna, divorced, finds comfort in neighbor watching and quaffing gallons of red wine.
The drunken voyeur sees shady business, murders, potential lovemates.
Fantasy imagination polluted by alcohol.
At times, thriller / mystery angles dominate over the satire.
Most of the cliches are here in full parody.
Bad reviews hail from people who have limited sense of humor, a growing tribe.
For those of us who have viewed countless perky sleuths, this will be a tonic.
Netflix show, yet it has a passable ending.  Actually, the last episode is a hoot.

Battle In Outer Space - 1958 - Japan

Battle In Outer Space - 1958 - 5/10
AKA - Uchû Daisensô / /  宇宙大戦争

 
Earth’s space station gets attacked and destroyed by alien spacecraft.
World leaders assemble and scientists explain the invaders (the Natal) have a base on the Moon.
Fortunately, Japan reveals they have already constructed two rocket ships.  And a ray gun.
Small scale war ensues.
The Moon parts are fine, decent sets, good models, inventive special effects.
Lunar explorer pods resemble vibrators with wheels.

 
The pint-sized Natal are clearly children, though.  Earth cosmonaut costumes most unstylish.
In many regards, this is refried Mysterians from 1957, an altogether superior film which boasted a finer score.
Even the saucers look like the Natal jacked them from Mysterian.
OK enough, but not the first choice for vintage Toho SciFi.

Mississippi - 1935 - USA

Mississippi - 1935 - 7/10

 
Love, honor, manhood.
Pacifist Quaker refuses to duel, is branded a coward, and his Southern belle dumps him.
Fortunately, the riverboat captain has need of a singer for his floating casino.
The Quaker is renamed Colonel Steel, the singing killer!
Bing Crosby fine as the smooth vocalist, trying to win back his wayward fiancée.
W.C. Fields as Commodore Jackson is the real reason to watch this.
That gargle of his is that of the blustering showman, and his physical humor is peerless.

Six Days, Six Nights - 1994 - France

Six Days, Six Nights - 1994 - 6/10
AKA - À la Folie

 
Elsa reaches the breaking point.  Indifferent husband, annoying children, empty pantry.
Heading out for a few groceries, she keeps going.
Until she arrives in Paris, where her painter / artist sister, Alice lives.
With her boxer boyfriend.
Don’t expect a ménage à trois.  And instead of tense sibling rivalry, expect toxic rivalry.
Apparently since childhood, the girls have baited, played mind games, resorted to physical violence.
Less talky than most French fare, this is mean-spirited to the core.
Most puzzling is wondering why one tolerates the other.

Almost Perfect Crimes - 2012 - France

Almost Perfect Crimes - 2012 - 6/10
AKA - Des Crimes Presque Parfaits

 
Reenacted crimes from the 1700s to 1930's, analyzed and discussed by a variety of talking heads.
Something you might see on the Crime Channel (is there such a thing?) only this is French.
Everyone speaks in French (hard-subbed) save for the narrator.
Beware, most of the guilty climb the scaffold.
Moreover, some of those receiving the guillotine chop would be considered innocent in today’s eye.
Acceptable viewing - say you are stuck at the Wash-O-Rama.

Shinobi no Mono 7: Mist Saizo Strikes Back - 1966 - Japan

Shinobi no Mono 7: Mist Saizo Strikes Back - 1966 - 7/10
AKA - Shin Kirigakure Saizô  //  忍びの者 新・霧隠才蔵

 
The ailing emperor retains the Fuma clan to finish off the Iga ninjas.
Following events of Shinobi 6, the Iga are little more than a company, perhaps smaller.
Theirs is now a rearguard action.  As they win small battles, their numbers dwindle.
Strategies succeed at times, or members fall into traps, or are betrayed.
As always, terrific stuntwork, complicated fight choreography.
Visually, the series grows progressively darker, in keeping with the fatalistic tone.
With a final installment to go, one could predict this may not end well.

Anything For Jackson - 2020 - Canada

Anything For Jackson - 2020 - 6/10

 
“You know, I think we’re in over our heads.“
The slow realization, after joining a Satanic cult, then abducting a pregnant woman.
That perhaps, maybe, relying on Google for crucial information isn’t the wisest course.
Droll, so droll one might mistake this for another humorless horror riff.
A tale of grief, regret, of a couple desperately trying to press some reset button.
Throughout, humor, very clever humor, mocks the proceedings.
This would be a horror gem, save for the collapsed ending.
Missing are perhaps two minutes of plot stitching.
Instead, the writer, perhaps out of ideas, quit mid-stride.
Fill your boots, man.

Lucky Bastard - 2013 - USA

Lucky Bastard - 2013 - 5/10

“Found footage” movie suffers from the usual “found footage” flaw - dead air grinding momentum to a halt.
Film in this production was assembled from a porn shoot that turned bloody.
Ah, porn and violence,  voyeurs are already sniffing the air.
Premise is that one random fan of paid porn website gets to bang a pornstar.  The lucky bastard.
The starlet has veto power, and her intuition warns her about one particular guy.
Still, guess who gets selected?

 
Despite the genre, no penetration, no money shots.  Gratuitous nudity aplenty, though.
Decent casting in this, with several familiar actors.
Script is laced with inside jokes, dark humor, stretches of boredom, and the creepy build.
If the concept sounds familiar, Boogie Nights had the sequence where Rollergirl filmed sex with winners in Jack’s limousine, which didn’t go so well.
Likewise for most in this film.