What Lurks Beneath - 2024 - Canada

What Lurks Beneath - 2024 - 4/10

 
World War III breaks out … again.
Undersea denizens are fed up with humanity annihilating the planet so an emissary is sent.
Via the torpedo hatch arrives the attractive nude blonde.
Not to nitpick, how did she open that hatch door from underwater?
How come the submarine only has a crew of 7 with 2 Brit advisors?
How does the “stowaway” wander the vessel?
Terrible script comes off as watery Alien copy-clone.

Edgar Allan Poe's The Oval Portrait - 2025 - Canada

Edgar Allan Poe's The Oval Portrait - 2025 - 6/10

 
The antique shop is by appointment only, Whitlock is fussy.
Nevertheless, thieves try and fail to steal an oval portrait.
Then there is the downsized art student, painter, Ava, who Whitlock befriends.
Three threads, but each have additional sideplots.

 
For a low-budget affair, the photography is excellent.
The musical score is old-fashioned, grandiose, sweeping, perhsps too loud at points.
The side narratives seem tacked on, while the main line glides between mystery, thriller and melodrama.
Aside from the two leads, others are “re-actors”, waiting for their lines, then speaking awkwardly.
Ava is nicely turned, riding bad luck.  Whitlock is straitlaced, mannered, a throwback.
Poe’s story is incorporated, and Edgar resonates, along with a dash of Bierce, perhaps Fitz-James O’Brien.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3370957

The Brood - 1979 - Canada

The Brood - 1979 - 6/10

 
Mommy’s not well.  In fact, she is under restricted care by Dr. Raglan.
Specializing in a new treatment, psychoplasmics.
Husband Frank is unable to pry wife Nola from his care.
“She’s at a critical stage, don’t you know?”
Raglan role plays with Nola, permitting her to release her demons.
Psychological drama steadily descends into Horror.
Early gem from Cronenberg.  Patience, then hold on.

The Oval Portrait - 1973 - Mexico

The Oval Portrait - 1973 - 4/10

 
“Ah, Rebecca as I painted her, wasn’t she lovely?”
War Between The States over, Confederate soldier Joseph returns to his Yankee bride.
Too late, as she has died during childbirth / miscarriage.
Such is the extended backstory.  The bookends are the relatives coming for the will.
Experiencing the haunting of the manor.
So much is so wrong in this Mexican production filmed in Canada.
Interiors too modern, one of the heroines much too old, bad hair, intrusive music by Les Baxter, scenes milked for every drop of melodrama, over-acting, poor directing, bad editing.
This has NOTHING to do with the 2-page Edgar Allen Poe story.
I liked the two lovers and Mrs. Warren.  Otherwise, this is a so-bad-it’s-fun movie.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3370780

No Return - 2022 - Canada

No Return - 2022 - 6/10
AKA - Aller Simple

 
Who could refuse?  Invite to a billionaire’s private retreat for a weekend?
There are six of them, plus one guest and the helicopter pilot.
Everyone survives a forced landing, then find a lavish, well-stocked compound.
Wait, then there are only five invitees … then four!
No credit given to Christie, yet clearly patterned after And Then There Were None.

Sugarcane - 2024 - Canada

Sugarcane - 2024 - 7/10

 
Graves are reported at closed Catholic schools for tribal children.
If there were wrongdoings or incidents, they occurred long ago and many culprits are now dead.
Documentary is partly a race against time, interviewing survivors, tracking the guilty.
Also, painful persuasion, as most of the victims, now elderly and frail, are extremely reluctant to revisit the past.
As ever, problems stem from wayward priests, who, once exposed, were simply relocated.
Compelling viewing, yet a difficult watch.

We’re All Gonna Die - 2022 - Canada

We’re All Gonna Die - 2022 - 6/10

 
Yes, one way or another.  All men are mortal.
Host Baruchel angsts over mass events: pandemic, nuclear war, global warming, alien invasion.
He is a Chicken Little ninny, overdramatizing constantly as if he were unboxing for his mommy.
The idea of mass annihilation has already been covered more thoroughly and less foolishly in How To Survive The End Of The World (2013), minus the pity party indulged in here.
Should this get rebooted – again – please let Philomena Cunk have a bash at it.

The Resurrected - 1991 - Canada

The Resurrected - 1991 - 6/10

The client glides into the office.
Blonde, wearing a gold satin outfit, lips red enough to halt a cavalry charge.
Only there’s a wedding ring.  Her husband is missing.
Happened after he unearthed a portrait of a bygone ancestor.
With whom he bears an uncanny resemblance.  Oh yeah, the husband’s name is Charles Dexter Ward.

 
Get the flaws out of the way first.
For the first hour, the directing and photography is atrocious.
Closeups galore, amateurish reaction shots, and a Deckard style narration.
A cross between cheap TV and tacky.
The flashback sequence of 1771 goes straight into classic HPL.
Exploration of the subterranean catacombs is eerie and spooky.
And the finale is a real doozy.

The Decline Of The American Empire - 1986 - Canada

The Decline Of The American Empire - 1986 - 6/10

 
“The concept of personal happiness permeates the literature of a nation or civilization as its influence wanes.
"Personal happiness means the expectation of receiving instant gratification in daily life.”
Thus begins a witty, philosophical opening act.
Followed by a quartet of women at the exercise arena, while at home menfolk prepare dinner.
The ladies gossip, confess affairs, analyze male insecurities, while the males boast of prowess.
This whole section is terribly funny, yet once the dinner party commences, the easy cheer evaporates.
As in life situations, innuendo and snarky competitiveness burdens the table.
A Canadian film, this should appeal to fans of dialogue driven French fare.

Stage Mother - 2019 - Canada

Stage Mother - 2019 - 6/10

 

 

Rickey left Texas for San Francisco over a decade ago.
Now Ma, Maybelline, is flying there for his funeral.
It ain’t right, burying one’s own son, yet despite the estrangement, she did love him so.
And, it turns out, she is the inheritor of his business, a struggling drag club.
In no time flat, Maybelline overcomes her conservative, religious upbringing.
Bonds with the entertainers, brings fresh ideas for revitalizing business, finds romance.
Only in the movies.
Ain’t depressing enough?  Seek elsewhere.  Feel-good all the way, with catchy songs.

Gold Lust - 1984 - Canada

Gold Lust - 1984 - 7/10

 
Documentary of the Serra Pelada gold field in Brazil.
A nugget was discovered in 1979.  By the time of this film, tens of thousands slaved away.
Yes, gold was found, nuggets 10 lb and heavier.
The open air pit was humongous.  As was the violence, thievery, murder, squalor.
Mud, filth, avarice, delusions, despair.
Narration by Orson Welles.
Doc captures the utter depths of humanity … the potential near-future of civilization.

Odd Girl - 2019 - Canada

Odd Girl - 2019 - 6/10

 
Social misfit Belinda somehow gloms onto the cool crowd, although most scorn her.
There is something repellent about her, yet she is so hungry to blend in.
To make a friend – any friend.  Someone agreeable, and willing.
Warning short about the dangers of embracing the pariah.
English subtitles = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3356784

The Nature Of Love - 2023 - Canada

The Nature Of Love - 2023 - 7/10  
AKA - Simple Comme Sylvain  (Simple as Sylvain)

Sophia lives a stale marriage.  Limited sex, twin beds, separate bedrooms.
She is a university professor, philosophy.  Friends and family, erudite intellectuals, if narcissistic and opinionated.
Then, renovating the rustic chalet, she meets handyman Sylvain.

 
Who rocks her world, as well as her glands.
They go at each other with a violent physicality.
His family, working class, later sees him as a good match for Sophia.
After all, he’s an intellectual.  He reads books.  On UFO’s and the paranormal.
Opposites attract.  In our 20’s, all of us do this.  This couple is in their early 40’s, however.

Creeper - 2023 - Canada

Creeper - 2023 - 6/10

 
He saw him, out in the backyard, under the bird feeders.
Then in the woods, when he was walking the dog.  Only an old guy.
Yet, something disturbing about him.
Our protagonist then slinks home to wait (?).
Well-made short, long on style, crisp editing, storywise –– eh.

Red Rooms - 2023 - Canada

Red Rooms - 2023 - 7/10
AKA - Les Chambres Rouges

 
The murder trial is notorious.  Observer Kelly Anne sleeps outside the courthouse so she can get a seat.
Night after night, week after week.  Why?  What impels her?
Unlike those who seem murder groupies, she is an enigma.  She is also affluent.
The internet is a tool she uses better and keener than most.
A fashion model, a computer hacker, a successful gambler.
Again, she is a daily visitor at the heinous trial, taking in the accused and the bereaved.
For viewers, we are on the periphery, the blood and mutilation offscreen.
A maddening film, profoundly done.

The Reflecting Skin - 1990 - Canada

The Reflecting Skin - 1990 - 7/10

 
The heartland, late 1940’s, young friends Seth, Kim and Eben idle away the summer.
They especially enjoy tormenting the English Rose transplant.
Seth’s mother is neurotic and unpredictable, harsh even.
His father reads a vampire pulp, which fires Seth’s imagination to the point he believes a neighbor is one.
Highly stylized film shot from the boy’s point of view.
His house and parents are browns and grays, rust and dust.
While the outside world is deeply saturated colors.
Darker concerns, not caught by the child, is his troubled brother, back from WWII.
And a long, black Cadillac.
A visual feast for the arthouse crowd.  Casual crowd, you’ve been warned.

Elizabeth Rex - 2004 - Canada

Elizabeth Rex - 2004 - 7/10

 
Essex is to be executed for treason at dawn.
Ex-lover Elizabeth, monarch, spends the night awake.
Not with courtiers or politicians, but with other professional deceivers.
Actors and writers, in this case, William Shakespeare and members of the troupe.
Heady drama compares the privileges of love versus the obligation of rule.
Limitations of being a man, or a woman. Speaking one’s mind, or speaking too freely.
Experience akin to the fly in the room, observing.  A remarkable show.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3352639

Once Upon A Murdoch Christmas - 2016 - Canada

Once Upon A Murdoch Christmas - 2016 - 6/10

 
During holiday revels, the rich. I mean really rich, are being robbed.
Their gifts are pawned or exchanged, the resultant funds used for practical necessities.
The Toronto force investigates, but the thieves are technologically advanced.
Indeed, for fans of steampunk, there are outrageous gadgets and scenes.
Despite that, the plot is overly schmaltzy, and saccharine to disbelief.
Side plots are even more corny.
Escapist Christmas fare, lacking edge, yet fine for family viewing.

To Kill A Tiger - 2022 - Canada

To Kill A Tiger - 2022 - 7/10

 
“She should just marry one of the boys.  That would solve it.”
So say the village females, after a 13-year-old child is attacked and raped by three men.
You read right, their “solution” is for her to marry the rapist.
Her father, Ranjit, decides to press charges, unheard of in India, where females are routinely raped.
Documentary observes the indifference, then ostracism by neighbors.
There are outside support groups, seen simply as “outsiders”.
Court, as is most nations, is agonizingly slow.
Throughout, “marry your rapist” is offered as the wisest counsel.
Significant watch, especially for fathers with daughters of any age.

Kanashibara - 2007 - Canada

Kanashibara - 2007 - 6/10

 
Young male grieves in the basement, dreams tormented by the death of his girlfriend.
Who may – or may not – be physically / spiritually there.
Damaged look works to exacerbate the nocturnal state.
Dreamlike short of haunted possession.