18: Clash Of Futures - 2018 - Austria

18:  Clash Of Futures - 2018 - 7/10

 
Followup to the series 14:  Diaries Of The Great War, covering the interwar years 1919-1939.
Cossack rebel, Marina Yurlova, carries over from the previous series, but by and large these are new memoirs.
Luminaries include Pola Negri, Rudolf Höss, Unity Mitford.  (Sisters Mitford deserve a doc of their own.)
There is a wealth of material used, perhaps too much, as the result is often a hodgepodge.
History buffs will appreciate the mix of footage (excellent, by the way) with reenactments.
Others may be baffled, trying to keep pace.  Brits may find references to Mosley unsettling.
Disjointed, yet compelling observation of an era torn between communism and fascism, with democracy waffling in the corner.  Though democracy has ever been a guise for capitalism.
And know ye, whatever your ism, tis a fool’s game and squarely rigged against you.

To Rome With Love - 2012 - Italy

To Rome With Love - 2012 - 5/10

 
Woody Allen film is homage to classic Italian cinema.
All star cast includes Penelope Cruz, Alec Baldwin, Jesse Eisenberg, Roberto Benigni, as well Allen regulars and many Italian stars I did not recognize.
Multiple storylines, none of them interacting with each other. Film felt more like a series of sit-com moments.
Postcard photography of Rome.
Typical of later Allen, hit and miss, heavily on the miss.  Unsympathetic characters do not help.
Note:  I am not a major fan of Italian cinema, though you can tell Allen is.  He tries hard, perhaps too hard.

Your Sister's Sister - 2011

Your Sister's Sister - 2011 - 6/10

 
A year after his brother's death, Jack accepts an invite by best friend Iris (and his brother's girlfriend) to straighten out at her island cabin.
Also at the cabin is Iris's half sister, Hannah.
Hannah is gay, but she and Jack start tossing back tequila . . .
Confused yet?
Slow film, over talky at the intro, but rewarding.
Definitely of this current age, characters react to situations and traps that earlier generations would have shunned, repressed or murdered.

14: Diaries Of The Great War - 2014 - France

14:  Diaries Of The Great War - 2014 - 7/10

 
Imaginative WWI documentary should not be ones first choice for an overview of that war.
A compelling series, nonetheless, that will reward viewers who dig into it.
The usual combination of newsreel footage, stills and maps, is augmented with reenactments.
Diaries are quoted extensively and played out by actors.
This may take awhile to get accustomed to, but one does fall in with the concept.
“14 Diaries” are the prime journeys, yet secondary quotes and passages come from hundreds of memoirs.
Diaries and journals are not necessarily historically accurate, but they are heartfelt and hopefully honest whereas wartime news reports are invariably censored, if not fabricated.
Of particular note is the film restoration and coloring (sparingly) which is breathtaking.

 
An international production (trench sequences shot in Canada) that gives me my only quibble.
Characters speak in many languages.  Sometimes they are subbed, other times overdubbed.
I wish producers would have made one choice and stuck with it.
Minor nitpick.  For historical types, this should go onto your queue.

The Dirt - 2019 - USA

The Dirt - 2019 - 7/10

 
Hell yeah!  Mötley Crüe!  Politically correct Woke folk, check this out!
Biopic wallows in excess, nudity, sex, drug use, projectile discharge, vile language, violence.
Story pretty much follows the bestselling book from 2001.
Charts the band formation, rise, incredible lapses, rot, rally.
Fine encapsulation.  Solo careers ignored, as were all post “Feelgood” albums.
I find it curious how many critics laud Straight Outta Compton, yet decry many of the same situations, attitudes, and behavior found in this film.

At the record shop, Crüe’s “Dr. Feelgood” proved to be the last New Release that fans camped overnight for.
Not too many, twenty, twenty-five people, dressed in rags.
I rolled in at 9:00 AM, opened up ten minutes later, even though we normally opened at 10:00 AM.
A few bought vinyl, most compact discs.
Camping overnight for a New Release was common in the 70's, increasingly less through the 80's.
The dedicated Crüe fans that morning were a last breath, and the memory of that day stayed with me.

King Of Thieves - 2018 - UK

King Of Thieves - 2018 - 5/10

 
Another “over the hill” gang rides again.
A quartet of aging geezers, and a young tech geek, eye the impregnable bank fortress.
Vault for stashed wealth, legal and illegal.
Caper film is a meandering stroll through ineptitude.
The gents commit more mistakes than Paddington Bear, without his lucky fortune.
Nothing really new in this, and it is frustrating to view, what proves to be, a foregone conclusion.
Late – quite late – in the film, there is a breathtaking moment as the men march out, infirm, out of step, then scenes of their much younger, swaggering selves, parade by.  Only a moment, alas.
Based on the recent, 2015, Hatton Garden robbery (Losses = £200 million).

Beautiful Neighbor - 2011

Beautiful Neighbor - 2011 - 7/10
AKA - Utsukushii Rinjin / 美 し い 隣 人

 
Stunning, mysterious female glides into the neighborhood.
Her husband is a foreigner (American) and forever abroad on business.
The woman next door is married to an overworked salaryman who is also gone most of the time.
Female bonding swiftly occurs.
Saki, the new arrival, is the beguiling spider, however.
Smiling softness cloaks the snares she lays for her friend, her friend’s husband, their child.
She is a destroyer.

 
Very much a “chick drama,” Yukie Nakama is mesmerizing as the duplicitous Saki.
One keeps watching to find out, if nothing else, what put the venom in her veins.
Immaculate photography, haunting music, though the plot falters near the end.

Perversion Story - 1969

Perversion Story - 1969 - 5/10
AKA - One On Top Of The Other

 
With either title, I had such expectations.
Late 60's, glossy Italian trash about philandering doctor and swinging babes.
All set in groovy San Francisco.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz . . .
Oops, did I fall asleep?
Boring soap opera, too much talk, one artsy lovemaking scene, **zero** counter-culture, plot more tangled than Cher's hair in a wind tunnel.
Not nearly the fun I was expecting.

Before The Winter Chill - 2013

Before The Winter Chill - 2013 - 6/10
AKA - Avant l’hiver

 
French neurosurgeon chats with an alluring waitress at a coffee shop.
Soon, he starts receiving flowers at home and at the practice.
No sender listed.  He also begins bumping into the tempting girl at random locations.
Is she stalking him?  Distracted, he begins meeting with her, sharing histories.
While everyone around him assumes he is having a mid-life crisis.
On surface, a French bedroom drama, only this holds an extremely dark heart.
The bloodless domestic elements receive more weight than the exotic thriller aspects.

Hunger Games - 2012

Hunger Games - 2012 - 5/10

 
I delayed watching this for the longest time.
Comments from fellow Asian flick fanbase held me off.  Constant mumbling about this being a mere ripoff of Battle Royale.
Fears unfounded, it was not an imitation of Battle Royale.  Nor was it a passable action romp.
Instead it was a boring character study, minus (according to friends who read the novels) vast chunks of narrative.
As an action film NOTHING happened for the first hour. Blame the screenwriter, blame an inexperienced director.
Contrasted to Fukasaku (BR), who was a master of staccato violence and relentless movement, Ross's HG was leisurely and spare.
One memorable scene involving bees (wasps, hornets) he milked for several slow minutes. Gibson covered similar territory in Apocalypto far more effectively and efficiently in 15 seconds.
Hunger marketed itself as a big budget actioner, it was not.
I could rate it much lower, but my expectations were already lower than dirt.

The Wife - 2018

The Wife - 2018 - 6/10

 
The peerless author, acclaimed, lauded, is to receive the Nobel Prize for literature.
Accompanying him is his son, struggling in the giant’s shadow, and his support and anchor.  The wife.
Oh, and on the trip is another writer / reporter, wanting to a biography, after “clarifying” a few questions.
Acting is excellent throughout.  Sympathized with characters, rooted others on, hated one.
For all that – – Within ten minutes, I turned and asked,  “Are you familiar with this storyline?”
“No, I didn’t read much about it.”
“Well, do you think this is about THE BIG TWIST ENDING?”
“Yeah, that how it feels to me.”
Sure enough, the script telegraphed the ending early on.  So, the whole time, I am beginning to hate every single spineless character, not to overlook the producers who have dumbed down the film to make it easy for viewers to follow.
Final ten minutes – THE BIG TWIST ENDING – my mental jukebox spins Peggy Lee, “Is That All There Is?”

2 Days In New York - 2012

2 Days In New York - 2012 - 5/10

 
Julie Delpy transplants the Two Days In Paris followup to New York.
Chris Rock is new boyfriend.  Her crazy family visits and gets into farce situations.
I think she was aiming for Woody Allen territory, but missteps badly.
Silly, disappointing, waste of talents.

Mara Maru - 1952 - USA

Mara Maru - 1952 - 5/10

 
Errol Flynn as salvage boat skipper working in the Philippines.
His partner is murdered, just after drunkenly boasting about “treasure.”
Shadowy types then circle the captain, who has no idea of any loot.
Sluggish film, despite underwater sequences action trappings.
Flynn looks tired and not remotely interested.  Raymond Burr as suspicious party comes off best.
Story is recycled from dozens of other, better, titles.
Worth a look if on late night, though this almost put me to sleep.

The Truth - 2019

The Truth - 2019 - 6/10
AKA - La Vérité

 
Daughter Lumir visits as mom, Fabienne, is publishing her “autobiography.”
How accurate is the book?  How accurately would you cast your life?
Lumir is a Hollywood screenwriter, married to a TV actor.
Fabienne, however, is a doyen of French cinema, a legend, nearing her twilight years.
While the main dynamic is between mother and daughter, there is a long dead friend.
Surrogate mother, rival, cult figure.
Should be highly enjoyable to French film fans.

The Tall Man - 2012

The Tall Man - 2012 - 5/10

 
A lot of Horror buffs kicked this one because it defied conventions.
Because it was a Thriller, not Horror.
This started off well, creepy, and the plot knotted and twisted every ten minutes.
Absolutely no idea who the Tall Man was, or why he was abducting children.
Near the end, the tension dissipated as the narrative unwound in a most unsatisfying manner.
There was a 7 movie in there. Too bad.

The Mystery Of Edwin Drood - 2012 - UK

The Mystery Of Edwin Drood - 2012 - 6/10

 
Another adaptation of Dickens' final (unfinished) work.
Production values are top notch.
I wonder about some of the characterizations, though.  Rosa and Helena, for example.
The ending is plausible, better than others I have seen.
Fine rainy night film, if that is your only option.  Want a larger helping?  “Drood” by Dan Simmons.

Anna And The Apocalypse - 2017 - UK

Anna And The Apocalypse - 2017 - 7/10

The day before Christmas and school is still in session.
Anna heads to classes, taking a shortcut through the cemetery, singing and dancing all the way.

 
She and her friend John make a horrified discovery.  Zombies infest the town!
What to do?  Fight, naturally.  And keep on singing!
You got it.  A Christmas, zombified musical.  Songs are top notch, too.
Extremely funny version of the hungry dead, and reverential to the genre rules.
Delay your perennial chestnuts, sample this.
Hopefully, the tune below will become a radio favorite.
“It’s That Time Of Year” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEefZSvh434

A Christmas Horror Story - 2015

A Christmas Horror Story - 2015 - 6/10

 
Per title, holiday horror, anthology style.
North Pole finds Mr. Claus squared off against elves going zombie on him.
Rest of the film takes place around Bailey Downs.
High school journalist students break into school during holiday to investigate mysteriously slaughtered students.
Father - mother - son climb over the “NO TRESPASSING” sign to chop a Christmas tree.
Bickering family visit reclusive, wealthy auntie where a bored, disrespectful son breaks a Krampus statue.
Anchoring the stories is a midnight DJ - Shatner.
Narratives weave back n forth instead of proceeding consecutively, which has irked ADD types on IMDB.
OK enough time waster.  Few scares.  Couple of points for invention and giving Krampus screen time.

A Christmas Carol - 2019

A Christmas Carol - 2019 - 7/10

 
For traditionalists, this may be hard to swallow.
The look and atmosphere of this hews closer to Gustav Doré’s London, rather than John Leech.
Scrooge is hard as flint, but a complete rationalist.  His exchanges with Cratchit illuminate both characters.
Cratchit is not the spineless soul, one senses something akin to respect from his employer.
With most Scrooges, there lies a twinkle behind the “humbug!”  Not with Pearce.
This is a dead soul, with a traumatized childhood.  His home is huge, because he can afford it;  it is empty and bleak because he has no spirit to fill it.
Grim (Grimm) business all around.  Wonderful adaptation.

Black Christmas - 1974

Black Christmas - 1974 - 6/10

 
A decade before director Bob Clark struck holiday gold with Christmas Story ( “... You’ll shoot your eye out ...” ), he helmed this Yuletide slasher.
Olivia Hussey and Margot Kidder star in sorority house, receiving chronic obscene phone calls.
Christmas Eve, the house is invaded, and one by one ... yes, you can guess the predictable plot.
The genre had not hardened yet, so the girls I pointed out did not necessarily die, nor was the “order of victims” followed.
Very slow going proceedings, especially by todays tempo, and gore mavens will lament a lack of blood.
Keir Dullea and John Saxon male roles.

While You Were Sleeping - 1995

While You Were Sleeping - 1995 - 7/10

Once popular Sandra Bullock holiday vehicle, now sliding off radar.
Unfairly, perhaps.  Despite script flaws, this has a lot of heart and a surprisingly melancholic tone.
Female token booth employee rescues affluent man after he is shoved onto train rails and rendered comatose.
Due to misunderstandings, his family thinks she is their son’s fiancee and embraces her into their home.
From there on, complications, funny and bittersweet, ensue.
Slight drawback is the cartoonish score which misinforms scene after scene.

 
The heart of this, however, is an amazing performance by Bullock, whose character, Lucy, is whip-smart, funny, kind hearted, romantic, and desperately lonely.
Though the film is about Lucy, in real life such characters work beside us or live across the hall, yet are completely invisible.  And at Christmas time, generally forgotten.
One of Bullock’s best roles.

Holiday In Handcuffs - 2007

Preface
 

Oh, disaster.
I brought this upon myself.
Someplace earlier, I mentioned Hallmark or Lifetime.
Loki, god of mischief, must have overheard and decided, “Here you go, loser.”

I sat on one end of the sofa, the cat on the other. I had just loaded a perennial holiday favorite, Ric Burns’ festive, The Donner Party, when my bride and her sister returned from late shopping.
“Look, we found a fun family movie in the dollar bin.”
“Huh?”
“You know, something to chase away the holiday blues.”
“I don’t know about you two, but I’m not blue,” I declared. “I sent all my packages out by December 10. All of my recipients have already received their parcels.”
“Well, aren’t you just Mister Perfect?”
“All of my household gift buying is done, too,” I continued. “Presents wrapped, piled in the corner over there.”
Both rolled their eyes, then one asked, “What are you watching?”
“Donner Party,” I said. “Pretty snowflakes and a winter feast.”
“No - no - no. That’s horrible!”
“I know!” one waved the DVD, “let’s watch Holiday In Handcuffs!”
“Huh?”
Then the other pointed. “What are you drinking?”
I held a tumbler with two ice cubes clinking in a sea of gold.
“Medicine,” I replied.
“You’ve had quite enough medicine this week.”  My wife took the glass and headed toward the kitchen.
“Hey! Dude!”
She glanced over her shoulder, “Dudette, please.”
Seconds later, she returned with a wineglass, red ribbon wrapped on the stem along with a sprig of plastic holly.
“What’s this?”
“Chardonnay,” she said.
“Electric Raindeer vineyard,” her sister grinned.
Oh, joy, I thought. Long ago, I realized it was pointless to argue with women. They could persist for hours, days, weeks. I didn’t have the stamina.
The Donners were ejected, the handcuff thing inserted.
“What is this?” I grumbled. “Please tell me the handcuffs involve Miss September.”
“Of course not. This is Hallmark, or something similar.”
“Wholesome holiday entertainment,” said the other, and the sisters toasted glasses.
Five minutes in, the cat, doubtless looking forward to 90 minutes of human misery, starvation and cannibalism, stepped off the couch and sauntered away.
I was less fortunate.
 

Holiday In Handcuffs - 2007 - 5/10

 
Holiday family folly.
Young woman, facing another dateless family Christmas reunion, kidnaps a completely unknown restaurant customer at musket point.  Yes, musket point.  OK, at gunpoint.
One way or another, she hauls him into snow blanketed oblivion.
The family is seemingly perfect.  The backyard even has an outdoor ice rink!
Will the mismatched couple fall in love?
Aarrgghh!!

Now - what if roles were reversed?  A guy kidnaps a female.
Drags her to his backwoods family.  Bet you’re thinking Texas Chainsaw kinfolk.
Not here.  Not remotely.
Aarrgghh!!

The Gathering - 1977 - USA

The Gathering - 1977 - 7/10

 
Holiday gem, now forgotten.
Family sire, separated from his wife, estranged from his children, receives the 90 day expiration notice.
Wants to make amends for misplaced priorities (business over family), convinces wife to get family to come home for Christmas.
A bit mushy, but thankfully not as touchy-feelie as most Christmas fare.
Relationships between Boomers and WWII parents were extremely polarized.  This film glosses over problems, and drapes a gauze of hope and over the proceedings.  It is a holiday film, after all, but underlying tension is constant.
For a TV movie, this had top tier talent behind the scenes (production by Hanna-Barbera, music by John Barry), and actors who would be mainstays throughout 70's airwaves (Hill Street Blues, Mary Tyler Moore, Soap, Lou Grant, Trapper John, M*A*S*H, Remington Steele).
Bittersweet.

The Holly And The Ivy - 1952 - UK

The Holly And The Ivy - 1952 - 6/10

An extended family gathering at the paternal home.
Grown children, in varying degrees of estrangement.  Two aunts, one merry, the other crusty.
And the father, the widower parson, dependent on daily assistance yet blind to his changing family.

 
Well captures bittersweet reunions, buried memories disturbed, ignorant preconceptions.
Under the surface is surprising anger, though this is not an unhappy film to view.
A modern rendition might replace anger with cynicism, emotion with a façade.

The Bishop’s Wife - 1947

The Bishop’s Wife - 1947 - 7/10

Once a perennial Yule favorite, less shown nowadays.
Bishop (non Catholic) prays for help.
Not guidance, not solutions, help.
An angel is sent - Cary Grant.
The angel works, likes God, in mysterious ways, not always understandable.
A small sweep of characters are touched by him, shown the light or their burdens eased.
Old fashioned, uplifting movie.  Wry, not syrupy.  Gentle, not noisy.  Several unforgettable scenes.
Impossible to imagine this remade today, the generation of cynicism giving way to the ironic age.
Most could not imagine a chance encounter with the Divine.

 

Remember The Night - 1940 - USA

Remember The Night - 1940 - 7/10

 
Unfairly forgotten Christmas chestnut with Stanwyck and MacMurray before their classic Double Indemnity.
Female shoplifter hauled before jury right before Christmas.  Shrewd DA gets her trial postponed because he knows juries are more merciful during Yule.  Once he realizes the woman has no place to stay, no money, he feels guilty.
Until he realizes they both hail from the same state, then he offers her a ride back home.
Film, from a brilliant Preston Sturges script, runs cynical, funny, bitterly sad, sentimental.
Stanwyck and MacMurray display marvelous chemistry, shifting effortlessly between wary and hopeful.
Both are city souls, however, and dead honest with themselves.
The trip from city to country is the journey from calculating adulthood to innocent childhood.
The contrast between their childhood homes is heartbreaking.
The old homestead, a bygone world, seems already a fading memory here, as the States poised for war.
Sentimental, yes - but not icky.
Reinforces a personal hope that a good individual can redeem a borderline soul.

Silent Night, Lonely Night - 1969 - USA

Silent Night, Lonely Night - 1969 - 6/10

 
Over Christmas in snow packed Amherst, John and Katherine repeatedly cross paths.
Katherine’s  son is in prep school, recovering from an illness.
John’s suicidal wife is in an mental institute.
Gradually, as they spend more time together, they share stories.
Low key film is not so much a love romance, but shared compassion.
Ships that pass in the night, as it were.
Lloyd Bridges and Shirley Jones have nice chemistry.

Christmas Holiday - 1944 - USA

Christmas Holiday - 1944 - 6/10

 
One of the most misleading Christmas titles ever.
After young lieutenant receives his commission, he shows comrades an engagement ring, then receives the Dear John telegram.
He opts to fly to San Francisco, nonetheless, have it out with the woman who dumped him and married another.
Narrative shifts almost immediately as his passenger plane is forced down by bad weather to New Orleans.
A newsman tags the lieutenant as a lost soul and takes him to a “sporting house” where he meets one of the girls, Deanna Durbin.
They go to Christmas Eve Midnight Mass, then to an all night coffee shop, where she starts to tell how a nice girl from Vermont wound up in a Louisiana brothel.
Look for Gene Kelly in genuinely offbeat casting.
Depressing Christmas Noir, with almost every single character miserable, doomed, unhappy.
Durbin regarded this as her best film.

Nativity! - 2009

Nativity! - 2009 - 6/10

 
Hello class, this year’s Christmas show will be fabulous!
A friend in Hollywood is coming to check it out!  You’ll be famous!
Oh, the tangled web fueled by bravado.
Paul is a very disgruntled teacher, who views his life as crap.
He is coerced into producing the annual show, another step downward.
Most of this is unpleasant and unstructured.  The cast was urged to improvise.  It shows.
Paul’s assistant, Mr. Poppy, would be viewed with suspicion in any other film or world.
This was heading for a 4/10 until the finale turned out to be the whole Christmas show.
No medley (like the lame Little Voice route).  Big numbers, well done.

Susan Slept Here - 1954 - USA

Susan Slept Here - 1954 - 6/10

 
Film set during Christmas, but not necessarily a holiday story.
Vice cops drop off 17 year old juvenile delinquent (Debbie Reynolds) to 35 year old Hollywood writer (Dick Powell - who was 50 when this came out), and leave her in his care during Christmas.
Creepy premise for romantic comedy fluff.
I am a big fan of Mr Powell, though, and sheepishly enjoyed this one.
Lush, over saturated Technicolor hues, and the overall design was packed with reds and greens, white trees, ornaments, presents in foil.
Great dream sequence, as well, with Reynolds doing a trapeze/pole dance thing inside a giant bird cage, while Powell (in sailor’s uniform), tempted by Anne Frances as ensnaring spider femme.
Powell’s last movie role.

Last Christmas - 2019

Last Christmas - 2019 - 5/10

 
Overwrought, puerile Christmas fable that is inferior Hallmark clone.
Angry, self-loathing Kate barely holds her job, abuses her friends after they let her couch crash, dodges medical appointments.
Oh yeah, despite some sort of health thing, her character is  still shallower than a cartoon.
Into her life rolls Rob, on his bicycle.  A perfect specimen.  Upbeat, positive.
Will they get together?  Will across-the-board negativism, cynicism, toxicity sparkle by the credits?
Story is as transparent as a plastic sack.  Even 1930’s audiences would have rolled their eyes.
The screenwriter, who has penned better, wrote a story for low expectations.
Rest easy, George Michael, your legacy is secure.

Susan Hill’s Ghost Story (The Small Hand) - 2019

Susan Hill’s Ghost Story (The Small Hand) - 2019 - 5/10

 
Your talented child writes a ghost story.
“This is good enough to be a movie,”  you think.  And you being rich, make it so!
That film would not be any less underwhelming that the title above.
A book dealer arrives at a rival’s spacious manor to sell a rare (pricey) edition.
Next beat, the book dealer is buying a stately estate of his own, although it is a shambles.
OK, you book sellers, can you afford to buy a 3-4 story albatross?
Wait!  The house is haunted!
The plot is underwritten, the characters are empty sketches, the music is contrived and bombastic.
This is an “attempt,” a failed attempt.
Pity the actors, shame on the “creative team” for this lump of Christmas coal.

The Donner Party - 1992 - USA

The Donner Party - 1992 - 8/10

 
Everyone has their holiday favorites.
The Donner Party documentary is the American Dream, turned upside down into nightmare.
Back in 1846, a portion of the covered wagons rolling west to California, left the main body to take a "shortcut."
Hastings Cutoff proved longer, far more difficult than predicted, and devoured precious time.
By the time their wagons reached the Sierra Mountain foothills, winter arrived.
The Donner group was trapped near Truckee, forced to winter there without food or supplies.
Snow began to fall ... and fall ... and fall.  Days turned into weeks, weeks into months.
They ate the cattle, they ate the oxen, they ate the horses.  They ate the leather leads and harnesses, they ate grass and bark off trees.  They ate their pets.
Finally, they started on the last remaining form of meat.  The other white meat.
When they were finally saved in the late spring, rescuers were horrified by what they found.
True story.

Shadow Island Mystery: The Last Christmas - 2010 - Canada

Shadow Island Mystery: The Last Christmas - 2010 - 5/10

Granddad summons his estranged family to his island home.
He’s dying, see?  But instead of trying to make nice at the end, he is being a dick to the last.
There is a puzzle to solve.  The winner gets all his money.  Losers get jack.

Within five minutes, I’m asking,  “Is this a Hallmark flick?”  (These things are inconceivably popular.)
I am ignored.  Undeterred, I carry on a personal running commentary.
“Grampa has that big ole house, and all the cabins?  For what?  For when?
“The island has a power line?  Holiday lights everywhere!  Who strung those?
 

“They better hide the booze, that daughter drinks like a fish.
“Whoa!  Talk about a merry pair of … uh … festive ornaments.

 
“Hey, since when does Hallmark have mattress action and pole in the velvet?
“Isn’t there supposed to be a mystery?”
Early proto-Hallmark film, before they adopted a rigid formula of feisty heroines, sexless men, murder(s) and clues aplenty, the insufferable bland romance, comic relief characters.
None of that here.  Yet despite the cleavage and bed romping, this is a holiday bore.

Alias Boston Blackie - 1942 - USA

Alias Boston Blackie - 1942 - 5/10

 
Fast paced, watchable programmer in the long running series.
This is the “Christmas episode,” though that is really stretching.
Some indoor decorations, characters wishing seasons greetings.
Otherwise, streets look hot and sunny.
During charity revels (dancing girls and a bounding clown) in the slammer, one of the cons escapes.
Inspector Fararday is there, as is Blackie, on whom Farraday eyes as suspect number one.
Chases follow escapes follow temporary captures, looped several times.
Truly, if you have seen one Boston Blackie, you’ve seen them all.
Chester Morris breezes effortlessly as the nimble, reformed crook, always able to aid an attractive female.

The Blue Carbuncle - 1984 - UK

The Blue Carbuncle - 1984 - 8/10

 
“It’s a bonny thing,”  said he.  “Just see how it glints and sparkles. Of course it is a nucleus and focus of crime.  Every good stone is.  They are the devil’s pet baits.  In the larger and older jewels every facet may stand for a bloody deed ... ”
Holiday chestnut from Arthur Conan Doyle.  Sinister jewel is stolen, promptly found and identified by Sherlock Holmes.
That is early in the plot, however, as Holmes and Watson proceed to backtrack the trail of the stone, unearthing the truth behind the theft.
The Victorian Christmas remains constant throughout.  Bracing cold, wandering carolers, the goose.
Wonderful production values and a sense of humor fill the show.
Jeremy Brett, in this, the initial series, brims with intensity as Holmes.

The Unthanks: A Very English Winter - 2012

The Unthanks:  A Very English Winter - 2012 - 7/10

 
Folksinger sisters Rachel and Rebecca Unthank explore rural festivals in bleak winter.
They begin on All Souls Night (Halloween) and end on 21 February with a pancake race.
For those sick of it, Christmas is barely mentioned.
This focuses on darker traditions such as ritual combats, door to door begging, bonfires and explosions.
As one said,  “The battle between good and evil, played out in the bitter cold.”

 
Interesting throughout.  Everyone seems cheerful and helpful, but I couldn’t help wondering how perfect such nights would be to commit and conceal a murder or two.
Subtitles might be helpful, the girls have pronounced Northumberland accents.

Back In Time For Christmas - 2015

Back In Time For Christmas - 2015 - 7/10

 
Two part show lets nuclear family celebrate Christmas’ past.
40's - 50's - 60's - 70's - 80's - 90's
Decorations and presents climb from wartime austerity to 90's affluence.
Accent on that word, affluence.  Family lives a nice upper middle class lifestyle, no out of work types here.
Participants in this “real life” reenactment are likeable, and seem less cautious or rehearsed than other shows.
The 60's house was bachelor Lounge to the max.  The two sisters wore appropriate hairstyles - nice touch.
Depends on your mood, I suppose.  Alternative to films you’ve watched till you’re sick.
Slade overload?  Beware of the  70's.

The Blackcoat’s Daughter - 2016 - Canada

The Blackcoat’s Daughter - 2016 -  6/10
AKA - February

 
Moody thriller, set in a Catholic girls school during winter break.
For two girls, parents are late or no-shows, but the cleaning staff will look after them.
Both girls are suffering a crisis, one of flesh, one of faith.
Meanwhile, one set of parents, approaching late at night, pick up  female hitchhiker.
Like the two students, she also is deeply troubled.
The rest is atmosphere and underlying tension.  Stray details coalesce, but they often slip past quietly.
Viewers who prefer visceral horror, screaming, chopping, jump scares, will find little here.
Fans of subliminal terror will enjoy much more.

The Thing From Another World - 1951

The Thing From Another World - 1951 - 7/10

 
Another wintry alternative.
Polar station housing military and scientists investigate an unexplained crash.
Quickly, they realize the wreckage embedded in the ice is a UFO!
Going by the book, they opt to remove it using explosives.
Yep, the definition of "military intelligence."
Then one of the soldiers sees the body, which they swiftly ferry back to their base.
What could go wrong?

I had viewed this classic many times, but not for twenty years.
Holds up fairly well, and there were sequences I had totally forgotten (eg: incubators).
I kept spotting modern homages / swipes from this movie.

Kumiko, The Treasure Hunter - 2013 - USA

Kumiko, The Treasure Hunter - 2013 - 7/10

. . . Based on a true story.
So begins this unlikely quest as main character Kumiko obsessively views a worn VHS.
The film is a far-fetched documentary where, at the end, a suitcase stuffed with money is buried under snow near a fence.  The criminal marks the spot with a red ice scraper.  Then it is forgotten.
The documentary is the movie Fargo, and Kumiko is convinced the money waits still.  For her.
At age 29, Kumiko is an over-the-hill office girl.
Her boss wants her gone.  Her mother wants her to marry, get pregnant, or move in with her.
Instead, she flies to Minneapolis in the dead of winter and begins trudging north.

 
The Japanese section moves very slowly.  Kumiko is a social misfit, almost shunned.
Once in the States, she is also an outsider but is tolerated as a foreigner or turista.
Nevertheless, she is an isolated, driven soul.
And winters in the Dakotas are unforgivable.

 
Haunting film with unforgettable, stark landscape.
Kumiko’s story, by the way, was “inspired” by the urban legend of Takako Konishi.

Season Of The Witch - 2011 - Iceland

Season Of The Witch - 2011 - 7/10
AKA - Timi Nornarinnar

 
Troublemaker journalist is exiled from Reykjavík to Akureyri, northern Iceland.
He covers a missing dog, gets “man in the street” opinions.
Then starts to investigate the ugly murder of an actor wearing a witch’s robe with runes..
Later, he is asked to dig into an accidental drowning of an ailing woman.
Serbian gangs, an abandoned parrot, Iceland myths and gods, swirl in ever present snow.
Decent four-part mystery told from the newspaperman’s very droll point of view.
Bonus is plenty of rugged outdoor scenery, as well as historical tidbits.

Bittersweet Symphony - 2019

Bittersweet Symphony - 2019 - 5/10

 
Rising tunesmith lands a job to score a Hollywood film.
She hit some snags, and her agent sends a seasoned professional to mentor her.
The older artist is a California caricature, flighty, over-sharing, effervescent.
The younger version is narcissistic and seemingly blind and deaf to the tragedy at hand.
Amidst this, the family gathers in apparently sunny Wales for “Christmas.”
Most of the characters were contrived and irritating.
The songs, shoegazing and downbeat, sound like Stephin Merritt knockoffs.
Holiday fun?  Limited.

Ice Sharks - 2016

Ice Sharks - 2016 - 4/10

 
Polar outpost, studying global warming, finds itself besieged by thawed out prehistoric Greenland Sharks.
Less campy than most SyFy shark chompers, though viewers can guess who will bite it.
Characters often chat in shorthand jargon, so you don’t always know what they are discussing.
Like you care - - sharks ahoy!
Hey, and why / how did the writers and director forget about pegleg Sammy?

A Christmas Carol - 2018

A Christmas Carol - 2018 - 7/10

 
Superior adaptation of Simon Callow’s acclaimed one-man play.
With minimal sets (this could well be an abandoned, derelict warehouse), and the barest of sound design (occasional muffled voices, horse hooves, clock chimes), the focus is all Callow.
His voice, voices, are magic.  Expressions subtle, grotesque, tragic.
Not schmaltzy, either, but a taut delivery of Dickens’ classic.
If you cannot catch the show at the West End, this is as good as being there.