Pitch Black - 2000 - USA

Pitch Black - 2000 - 6/10 

 
Spacecraft is perforated by meteorites and crash lands on an uninhabited desert planet.
Survivors are a mixed lot, including a taciturn killer, Riddick.
Empty, the desert planet is not, for there are creatures that emerge at night.
And a very long night, indeed, is approaching.
First in the Riddick franchise makes the most of a limited budget and relies on Diesel’s charisma.
Predictable formula of “another one bites the dust” is, nevertheless, blushing fun. 

Tricʞ - 2000 - Japan

Tricʞ - 2000 - 6/10 
AKA - トリック

 
Naoko is an unsuccessful magician.  Behind in rent, she accepts a challenge from a physicist.
Ueda refutes magic and spiritualism, and the pair are soon a team.
Seeking out phony mediums, shamans, cults, curses.
There are also a pair of police detectives who provide comic relief.
Word to the wise, Japanese comedy, often lowbrow, can be an acquired taste.
Cheap looking, two-part episodes birthed more seasons and four movies.
New fans of Yukie Nakama ought to hunt this down.

Uzumaki - 2000 - Japan

Uzumaki - 2000 - 7/10
AKA - Spiral  // うずまき

 
Her boyfriend is the first to succumb to the lure of the spiral, vortex, swirl.
Such is the initial infection, accelerating after his death (by washing machine).
The town is rapidly afflicted, and the obsession with spirals leads to physical alterations, deformities.
Steeped in rain soaked atmosphere, this runs between HPL and Lynch, more so the latter.
Meaning, with Lovecraft there “might” be an explanation.  Here, naught.
Worth watching for weirdness alone, adapted from a manga which I have not read.

Best In Show - 2000 - USA

Best In Show - 2000 - 7/10

 
Dog lovers, here’s a woofer for you!
Cutthroat competition, onstage and backstage, amidst the dog show.
Parodied are the human / canine interaction and adoration.
Funny, and nails types I encountered during a pet store gig.
(Note: I’m a cat person. With dogs I roll my eyes.)
Well-thought out situations throughout, making this, for me, on par with Guffman.

The Mystery Of Charles Dickens - 2000 - UK

The Mystery Of Charles Dickens - 2000 - 7/10

 
Simon Callow’s flamboyant one-man play, encompassing the writer, as well as key characters.
The bitterness of youth, disappointment with relations, the glare of fame.
One who for lived for the spotlight, even as it devoured him.
Script by Dickens authority, Peter Ackroyd, this is a glorious tour de force.
Essential for fans of theatre, the writer, Victorian London.

The Perfect Storm - 2000 - USA

The Perfect Storm - 2000 - 6/10

 
Luck had been bad for several hauls, so the skipper urges his crew one more time.
Farther and further, while behind them, storm fronts cluster.
Man vs. Nature, seamen in the raging sea.  Who will you bet on?
The book was a bestseller and a powerful read.
While the spectacular trailer promised so much.
Nevertheless, the action, while spectacular, is freighted with angst and opera.

Gangster No. 1 - 2000 - UK

Gangster No. 1 - 2000 - 6/10

 
Freddy, spellbound by beauty onstage, fails to see the hungry gleam in his new recruit’s eye.
Not for the bird, but for Freddy’s clothes, flash, position.
He is ambitious, cold blooded, probably a sociopath.
The gang is a small, disparate bunch, and Freddy seems to be losing focus.
Set in “Swinging London” this evokes the Sixties, instead of offering slavish imitation.
Paul Bettany and Malcolm McDowell brilliantly channel the same gangster, decades apart.
Stylish, violent, with the blackest of comedy.

Love Honour And Obey - 2000 - UK

Love Honour And Obey - 2000 - 7/10

 
Jonny, disgruntled courier, has ambitions.  Also a mate with underworld connections.
Jude, nephew to powerful crime boss Ray.
A quick word, Jonny is in, whereupon he soon … what’s the phrase … starts going postal.
Encroaches on rival territory, tries to initiate a full scale mob war.
Absolutely one of the funniest gangster movies ever!
Stellar cast, everyone having a romp, packed with catchy songs.

♪ No one gets to live too long. Where the soul of a man is easy to buy.
♪ Everybody's wheeling, everybody's stealing.  All the low are living high.
♪ On the avenues and alleyways. ♫

Naked Poison - 2000 - Hong Kong

Naked Poison - 2000 - 5/10
AKA - Shou xing xin ren lei// 獸性新人類

Office lackey Man Chi is bullied and taunted by colleagues and superiors.
Instead of approaching girls, he prefers upskirting and peeping at neighbors.

 
A spineless milquetoast, who, despite that, longs for the clout of authority.
After grandfather dies, Man Chi takes over the medicine / herbal shop.
And concocts a potent aphrodisiac.  Females devolve into sex starved slaves.
Cat III nasty boasts a lot of soft core ruttings, and sticky business when potion side effects hit.
Not as lurid as it pretends to be.  I imagine Cat III was given because of the unsavory undertone.

The House Of Mirth - 2000 - UK

The House Of Mirth - 2000 - 7/10

 
Social beauty faces dilemma:  marry for money vs. marry for love.
Even though Lily is thoughtful and selective, choosing is excruciating.
Nor is she skilled at the games, the rivalries, the schemes.
While time as her “most desirable” status, drains from the hourglass.
Another adaptation of an Edith Wharton, this provides stark contrast to The Age Of Innocence.
The latter is gorgeously opulent, where The House Of Mirth is gloom soaked gray.
Stakes seem lower in this, although consequences are harsher.
Not to my taste, yet a darkly powerful film.

Boiler Room - 2000 - USA

Boiler Room - 2000 - 7/10

 
Investment advisor cold calls the sheep.
OK, deadbeat Seth hires on as trainee at small, high-rolling brokerage house.
Specialty?  Aggressive sales of shaky stocks and municipals.
Targets?  Greedy rich, overworked professionals, wannabees, fools.
This is hardly a legitimate firm.  Ethics are casual.
Rapid fire, blistering paced film is an soured fun ride.
Probably worse if you are among the fleeced.

Under The Sand - 2000 - France

Under The Sand - 2000 - 7/10
AKA - Sous le Sable

 
After a few hours sunbathing, Marie realizes her husband has disappeared.
Hadn’t he told her he was just taking a quick swim?
His body is never found,
Not to worry, she still sees Jean in their house, still talks with him.
And continues to tell friends and family, he is still part of her day to day.
A day to day that grows more and more delusional.
Psychological descent from François Ozon.

Small Time Crooks - 2000 - USA

Small Time Crooks - 2000 - 6/10

 
Inept criminal and his crack team of discombobulated stiffs plan the bank heist.
First, buy the adjoining, empty pizza joint.  As cover, the wife bakes cookies.
Mid-career Allen is loaded with gags and situations.
Allen and his crew of bumblers shoulder most of the laughs.
Not to be overlooked, though, is the sparkling chemistry between Tracey Ullman and the Woodster.
Along with the romantic Hugh Grant, here smoothly against type.

Chocolat - 2000 - UK

Chocolat - 2000 - 6/10

 
Late 1950’s, small French village, into which arrives the widow woman and daughter.
Even though the village is little more than a hamlet, she sets up a chocolate shop.
Chocolate, being a luxury item, straight off I’m growing skeptical.
How can locals afford this?  How does she source ingredients?
Not to worry, a dalliance between her an a Roma guitarist provides distraction.
During release, this was the big artsy hit with mainstream viewers (usually one film per year).
I didn’t “get it” then, and still don’t.  Yes, yes, no soul.
Romantics and fable lovers, this should suit you better.

Sexy Beast - 2000 - UK

Sexy Beast - 2000 - 7/10

 
Gandhi?  Who’s that?
A retired criminal, enjoying sunny Spain, is pressured / coerced to take part in one “last big score.”
Yes, aren’t they all?
He’s made his pile, warm sunshine is nicer than cold rain, his wife is happy.
Alas, the crime lord has dispatched a total psychopath Don (Ben Kingsley, unforgettable).
The script pays attention to secondary and tertiary characters, and the caper is a corker.
Thing is, Kingsley’s performance or character is so dominating, it skews the entire film.

The Cell - 2000 - USA

The Cell - 2000 - 6/10

 
Aww, man, this is one of those films I was ecstatic about when it first screened.
Bought the DVD, rewatched, and each time enjoyed less and less.
Feds ask a “counselor” to use tech gear to mind-meld with a comatose serial killer.
Reason, where is the most recent victim still hidden?
The look, the effects, are outstanding, especially so on first encounter.
Plotwise, the story doesn’t always make sense.
Moreover, our “heroes” from the Feds to the psychologist, they seem perfumed with sympathy repellant.
Artsy, yet sterile.  Best to watch once and leave the wow factor intact.

Shadow Of The Vampire - 2000 - UK

Shadow Of The Vampire - 2000 - 7/10

 
My God, Willem Dafoe is an unforgettable presence in this.
Director Murnau’s next project is to be a vampire film.
The Stoker estate refuses to let him use the name Dracula, so he titles his film “Nosferatu”.
The production seems ill fated, beset with problems, disappearances, deaths.
If you look for it, this is actually quite funny.  Black, laugh out loud moments.
Dafoe’s Max Shreck is a frightening, odious, sinister creature.
Barely human, feral.
Malkovich also memorable as the damn-the-difficulties Murnau.
For film buffs, this is fantastic.

Quills - 2000 - UK

Quills - 2000 - 7/10

 
Despite being imprisoned (for “insanity”) the Marquis de Sade continues to get his writings smuggled out.
And then published.  Of course, the powers that be are not amused.
De Sade, vilified as a heretic and class traitor, is guilty of blasphemy and forced, violent sex.
If free Sade is a perpetrator, imprisoned Sade is a victim.
Of censorship and punishment, restrictions and surveillance.
Very theatrical production manages to be intellectually heady yet completely squalid.
Jess Franco fans, this is not the de Sade you are looking for.

Suzhou River - 2000 - China

Suzhou River - 2000 - 6/10
AKA - Su Zhou He // 苏州河

 
Club owner hires a freelance photographer to film his main attraction, the blonde mermaid.
The videographer and female soon form an uneasy relationship.
Meaning, he does not know much about Meimei, and she disappears at random.
Enter Mardar, motorcycle courier, who is convinced Meimei is his old girlfriend, Moudan.
As the sordid backstory unfolds, viewers cannot help but wonder, is Meimie actually Moudan?
The opening ten minutes are cinéma vérité, though the camera settles once the courier’s story occurs.
Personally, I never bought either love story, nor the mystery angle, only the obsession.

Mission Kashmir - 2000 - India

Mission Kashmir - 2000 - 6/10

 
After his parents are killed, a young boy is adopted by a policeman and his wife.
Were his parents terrorists?  And who killed them?  Consider the police officer.
Crackling good Hindi film of vengeance and anger.
Explosive action scenes, basic plot (though these are adults, not eternal adolescents).
Romance elements are minimized, and the songs serve the plot.  “Bumbro” is a mad highlight.
Newcomer Hrithik Roshan (above) was on the brink of superstardom.
Hardly the stereotyped Bollywood production, this should please action / thriller fans.