Human Lanterns - 1982 - Hong Kong

Human Lanterns - 1982 - 6/10 
AKA - Ren pi deng long // 人 皮 燈 籠

 
The rich man, wanting to defeat a rival spendthrift, hires the lantern maker.
Who, as we find out, makes shades from fleshy sources, of which there seem to be plenty.
Our protagonists are vain and boastful, whereas the villain (Lo Lieh) oozes diabolic charisma.
Weak as ever, I root for the baddie, just as hard blondes have ever snared my interest.
Shaw Brothers shocker has swordsplay, horror, scheming, murders.
Grisly midnight gem.

Bakeneko: A Vengeful Spirit - 1968 - Japan

Bakeneko: A Vengeful Spirit - 1968 - 7/10
AKA - Kaibyô Noroi no Numa // 怪猫呪いの沼

 
The pool is haunted.  The curse warns men about coveting females on certain anniversaries.
Heedless, the lord sees a minister’s lovely daughter and demands her as another concubine.
Yukiji, engaged and in love, refuses to her peril.
First half of brooding film is droit du seigneur, the right of the lord, and those powerless to oppose.
Second half, however, is the bakeneko, the shape-shifting cat, exacting revenge.
Dark film, spliced with ferocious swordplay, featuring imaginative photography.

Hanzo The Razor: Sword Of Justice - 1973 - Japan

Hanzo The Razor: Sword Of Justice - 1973 - 6/10
AKA - Goyôkiba  // 御用牙

 
Introducing law enforcement’s most innovative interrogator.
Hanzo is a righteous Edo officer, incorruptible, in pursuit of a prison escapee.
He tracks him by employing various S&M techniques on females who know “something”.
Oh, and his Razor nickname has to do with his terrifying schlong.
Nudity, torture, geysers of blood, misogyny, and a funky Blaxploitation soundtrack.
A wild film that would be surpassed by the sequel, The Snare.

Lady Snowblood: Love Song Of Vengeance - 1974 - Japan

Lady Snowblood: Love Song Of Vengeance - 1974 - 6/10
AKA - Shurayuki-hime; Urami Renka // 修羅雪姫 怨み恋歌

 
Continuation to Lady Snowblood (1973).
Yuki, arrested, sentenced to death, is approached by the Secret Police.
The offer: Infiltrate a subversive group, report, and receive amnesty.
Set later than the first installment, Japan is heading into militarism.
Right-wrong, heroes-villains, are murkier this outing.
Politics distract from the narrative, and this feels unfinished, as if there should have been a part three.

Predator: Killer Of Killers - 2025 - USA

Predator: Killer Of Killers - 2025 - 5/10

 
Our quarry include a Viking warrior queen, a samurai / ninja duo, hotshot WWII teenager.
The Japanese section is fairly wordless and hews close to chambara.
Contrast this with our heroic teen, who suffers diarrhea of the mouth.
Truly, he is an annoying jabber jaw.
Action and style is straight up anime, energetic but nothing new.  Perhaps a bit retro.
Throughout there are homages / fan-service / plagiarism of dozens of films.
A decent way to waste an hour, although one wishes producers possessed a wider imagination.

Conan The Barbarian - 1982 - USA

Conan The Barbarian - 1982 - 6/10

 
Decent adaptation of Robert E Howard’s Cimmerian hero.
Village destroyed by the Snake Cult, young Conan grows up thirsting for vengeance.
Milius was blessed with casting (James Earl Jones, Max Von Sydow, really?), an Oliver Stone script, and Ron Cobb’s design.
Money was spent on this, yet it still looks meager.
Simply not enough extras for the epic sprawl.
Nonetheless, I do watch this repeatedly, I appreciate the stunts, grim humor, and lack of CGI.

The Bride With White Hair 2 - 1993 - Hong Kong

The Bride With White Hair 2 - 1993 - 5/10
AKA - Bak fat moh lui zyun II // 白髮魔女2

 
Disappointing, to say the least, sequel to the 1993 Hong Kong classic by Ronnie Yu.
The “white witch” recruits and builds a female army of lethal assassins.
New heroes are mustered, their purpose to end to the carnage befalling the major houses.
Despite the presence of Brigitte Lin and Leslie Cheung, their roles are small.
This actually feels like a showcase for new talent.
Quality action, complicated narrative, and pace that swings between busy and idle.
See the original first,  Crave more, this will fill a hole.

Samurai Vendetta - 1959 - Japan

Samurai Vendetta - 1959 - 7/10
AKA - Hakuōki  // 薄桜記

 
Intersecting paths of two swordsmen from different / rival schools.
One is a ronin, with a slightly upward trajectory.  The other still a samurai, yet Fate is unkind.
Mutual respect between the pair cause dissension in their clans, and later expulsion.
Classic chambara , steeped in honor, the samurai code, the breath of revenge.
Knowledge of the history of the 47 Ronin is essential.
Star-making roles for Raizo Ichikawa (Sleepy Eyes Of Death) and Shintaro Katsu (Zatoichi).
As with much Japanese cinema of this period, the composition throughout is peerless.

Heads For Sale - 1970 - Hong Kong

Heads For Sale - 1970 - 6/10
AKA - Nü Xia Mai Ren Tou // 女俠賣人頭

 
After Pi-Lien marriage proposal is rejected, she enters the young lord’s villa, swords at hand.
Things simmer down once he tries to make amends.
Just as well, since thugs and bullies are multiplying, with heroes short in supply.
Shaw Brothers film has numerous fights, even more characters – I could not keep track.
As ever, the choreography is something to marvel at.
The title is a misnomer, since this is an actioner, though it would be perfect for a retail horror shop.
Mid-tier from the studio, yet it will keep you awake after 2:00 AM.

Zatōichi - 2003 - Japan

Zatōichi - 2003 - 7/10
AKA - 座頭市

 
Modern “update” of the extremely long running franchise.
Blind swordsman Zatōichi wanders into small village, oppressed by criminals.
Expect swordplay and bloodletting.
Stylish reworking, with high production values.
Kitano is somewhat odd casting, but he is writer / director in what must have been a labor of love.
Finale apparently a surprise twist, although I viewed it as cheating, or misfired joke.

Captain Sindbad - 1963 - Germany

Captain Sindbad - 1963 - 5/10

 
When I watched during its theatrical run, I remember enjoying the sword fights and exoticness.
Guy Madison was, after all, Zorro, and knew how to wield a blade!
I also remember, even as a kid I found much of this pretty corny.
Sindbad returns home to find an evil usurper on the throne, with designs on the princess.
Our hero and his hearties set forth to restore the kingdom!
Very dated now, with poor special effects – although the heart and giant hand are memorable.
Matinee fare all the way; for those who still tend their garden of childhood.

The Vengeful Beauty - 1978 - Hong Kong

The Vengeful Beauty - 1978 - 6/10
AKA - Xue fu Rong  // 血芙蓉

 
Straight off, evil is afoot.  Bookshops are raided, books burned, booksellers beheaded.
Their families, too.  And the writers, and the publishers, and proofreaders.
The emperor does not like criticism, let alone readers, for that matter.
On a pilgrimage to honor her old master, Yung is away when her family is massacred.
Fleeing, she receives help from a fellow student, as well as a repentant assassin.
In pursuit, the Flying Guillotine squad!
Of course, swordplay abounds, including one topless fight.
Camera work is creative throughout, from angles to perspectives.

King Eagle - 1971 - Hong Kong

King Eagle - 1971 - 6/10
AKA - Ying Wang  //  鷹王

Reclusive Kung Fu master Jin Fei, known as King Eagle, disdains worldly matters.
Ignoring intra-clan rivalries and assassinations.
Even when blood stained culprits try to eliminate him, he remains aloof.
Yet, when an especially attractive chief nurses a open wound, his reserve thaws.
Plenty of fights in this Shaw Brothers production (too many, for me).
Best by far is Li Ching in a dual role: the sweet sister and the wicked beauty.
Plot is the usual conflict for dominance of the guild – region – world – galaxy.

Prince Valiant - 1954 - USA

Prince Valiant - 1954 - 6/10  

 
Game attempt to adapt Hal Foster’s long running Sunday strip.
Technicolor, CinemaScope, location filming in England, hundreds of extras.
Though ten years too late, this evokes those splashy epics of the 1940’s.
Visually, this is beautiful.  Storywise, this based on a comic, so that is simplistic.
Acting is problematic, for every James Mason (who steals the film) there is Sterling Hayward as Sir Gawaine (?).
The biggest shortcoming is Robert Wagner in the title role.  He seems uneasy and uncertain throughout.
Watch for the scenery, costumes and action; overlook those miscast.

The Assassin - 1993 - Hong Kong

The Assassin - 1993 - 6/10  
AKA - Sha ren zhe Tang Zhan  //  刺客新傳之殺人者唐斬

 
Bao Jia is caught, trying to escape with his betrothed / girlfriend.
He is sentenced to an infamous prison where his eyes are stitched shut and the torture begins.
From here on, the film grows ever more brutal and darker, splashing blood and nudity.
Lesser known Hong Kong actioner boasts swordplay in spades.
Much of the look mirrors The Bride With White Hair and prefigures Blade.
With so much fighting, the narrative – if you can call it that – barely hangs together.
Doesn’t help that the subtitles are old school Hong Kong, nonsensical English.

Samurai Rebellion - 1967 - Japan

Samurai Rebellion - 1967 - 7/10
AKA - Jôi-uchi: Hairyô Tsuma Shimatsu //  奪命劍

The local lord, displeased with his mistress, forces her to marry the son of a swordsman.
Surprisingly, the young man, Yogoro, and girl, Ichi, enjoy each other and fall in love.
Two years later, the lord changes his mind, and wants Ichi back.
By any means necessary.

 
Simmering buildup of corroding clan loyalty, honor, and whether to obey a despotic leader.
By the final half hour, tensions boil over and blood begins to flow.
Possibly too slow for impatient types.
The theme of bully leaders ordering followers and retainers to do their dirty work while they reside in comfort still resonates.

Conan The Destroyer - 1984 - USA

Conan The Destroyer - 1984 - 6/10

 
What happened here?
Conan The Barbarian (1982) was faithful to Robert E Howard and Frank Frazetta.
Brutal, sexy, dark, bloody.  Breathe the Hyborian Age.
This followup is more cartoonish.  Silly at times.
Anyway, the Cimmerian is tasked with escorting a virgin princess to restore a horn on the god Dagoth (Dagon?).
Adventures follow in this disappointing sequel.
Great cast, fabulous sets, all wasted.
John Milius and Oliver Stone sorely missed.

Last Knights - 2015 - UK

Last Knights - 2015 - 5/10

 
I noted Clive Owen and Morgan Freeman and I crossed my fingers, hoping they weren't slumming.
The Lord of the North (snow on ground) is summoned to the capital for extortion.
He refuses to pay the bribe, chastises onlookers in throne room, meets predictable fate.
No - it has a vibe going, but Knights is not a Game Of Thrones clone.
His realm is appropriated, honor disgraced, warriors scattered like winter leaves.
Then, said warriors bide their time - and wait - and wait.
Yes - a remake of Chūshingura, 47 Rpnin, countless other films, Kabuki, ballet ...
Once I recognized the story, I prepared for the long, slow middle.
Darkness and shadows disguise shortcomings, and there is too much slow motion in battles.
I could knock this around, but it is not meant to be a classic.
Multi-national action film, aimed for non-demanding young males.
Derivative vengeance popcorn, but OK.  Final fifteen minutes might please combat fans.

Hanzo The Razor: The Snare - 1973 - Japan

Hanzo The Razor: The Snare - 1973 - 6/10
AKA - Goyôkiba: Kamisori Hanzô jigoku zeme

 
Hanzo, the sheriff with the big blade, prepares to interrogate.
One does not want to be interrogated by this man, trust me.
Treasury officials have devalued the currency, forcing desperate citizens into crime.
Hanzo, venting his disdain at officials stumbles across an illegal abortion site.
This is merely the beginning of slave traffic, government criminality, murder attempts.
Storylines churn at a furious pace.  Speaking of churning, so does our big blade officer.
Middle outing of an extremely sleazy trilogy.  Only Japan offers nuggets like this.

House Of Flying Daggers - 2004 - China

House Of Flying Daggers - 2004 - 7/10
AKA - Shi mian mai fu  //  十面埋伏

 
Government agent Jin helps the beautiful Mei escape prison.
High probability she is a rebel spy, so he does this to infiltrate the Flying Dagger clan.
Except. They have seen this ploy too many times and are rightfully wary.
Visually astounding, this is a demonstration disc.  Eye-popping colors.
Action sequences are also amazing, and lushly photographed.
It is long, often confusing, and has a cool emotional tone.
Coming a couple years after the crowd pleasing (and to me, overrated) Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, this was the fitting, breathtaking homage to countless Shaw Brothers classics.