A Taste Of Christmas - 2020 - USA

A Taste Of Christmas - 2020 - 4/10
AUSAKA - Christmas Romance Al Dente

City girl Natalie does event planning, pet-sitting, gift buying, home delivery, etc ….
A veritable Jaclyn of all trades.
When her aunt, opening a small town restaurant, gets stuck in snow covered Roma, Natalie rushes to the tiny town where, go figure, the hunky Italian chef has arrived.
Christmas, cooking and romance.  Keen eyed viewers might smell a formula.

 
I think … however … what happened was, the writer died.
The producer had already hired actors, bought skillets and aprons, and decided to wing it.
He finished the script with assistance from Ruff.  Man’s nest friend.
“Listen, Ruff, they burn food, right?” – “Which sets off the smoke detector, boss!”
“Good job!  Kitchen sink springs a leak.” – “And leaks explode everywhere!”
“Great, Ruff!  Cinema connoisseurs will recognize an homage to “A Plumbing We Will Go.”
“The peoples should be opposite, right boss?  They don’t like how the other smells.”
“In humans, opposites attract.  That’s why we get divorced or kill each other.”
“How about puppies, boss?” – “We call ours kids.  We find some teens so cute you could choke.”
Missing anything?  Well, when the foxy Italian female sings, her voice is pure Nashville.
Nia Vardalos, featured heavily in ad slicks, is barely here.
Midway, I paused and advised Zelda this would not become a holiday repeat.
She tried to reply, through laughter, tears running down her face.
“This is one of the worst films I’ve seen in my life.”

Janis: Little Girl Blue - 2015 - USA

Janis: Little Girl Blue - 2015 - 6/10

 
Another documentary on 60's icon Janis Joplin, forty odd years dead.
Does a good job talking with relics and survivors, unearthing a couple forgotten souls.
Copies of letters, photos, the usual concert footage, augmented with a lot of the Festival Express tour.
That was a train tour across Canada with Grateful Dead, The Band, Buddy Guy, Flying Burrito Brothers, Delaney & Bonnie.  (In fact, curious souls would be well advised to seek out 2003 doc Festival Express, a better film than this one.)
The earliest doc, Janis - The Way She Was from 1974, was slightly more sanitized than this (blame family white washing), but there were more survivors and their memories fresher.
Myth blurs with history, and this doc seems overlaid with a golden haze of nostalgia.

Carol - 2015 - UK

Carol - 2015 - 7/10

 
Gorgeous film of attraction leading into fling.
Younger female meets older female.  Age difference, wealth difference, class difference.
The foolish heart that learns through experience.
Set in early 1950's New York, the look is a fashion catalogue.  Clothes, hairstyle, makeup.
Director Todd Haynes shot in Super 16 so there is grain in the film.
Some critics have likened this to Sirk, but I think they are in error.
Sirk’s films are often high-voltage melodramas, and Carol is a subdued mood piece.
Social constrictions abound and repercussions for deviating from the norm glide quietly in the background.

Standing Woman - 2021 - UK

Standing Woman - 2021 - 6/10

Chances are the first lot are felons:  Murderers, rapists, kidnappers, violent prone.
Followed by burglars, robbers, drug dealers, thieves.
Being planted, every one.
Then drug users, petty shoplifters, folks who run a stop sign.
Next the complainers, those who criticize the government, the individualists.
Where will it end?  Well, we all want a better world, don’t we?

 

QE2: The Final Voyage - 2009 - UK

QE2:  The Final Voyage - 2009 - 6/10

 
Limited audience for this.  Documentary about the final trip of the Cunard liner, QE2.
History - highlights - final run from Southampton to Dubai, interspersed with passenger recollections.
“Limited audience” is a bit fuzzy, though, as the doc states that over a million people have sailed the vessel.
Likely millions more have cruised from port to port.
Belated souvenir for those who walked the Queen Elizabeth 2 gangplank.
Perhaps of interest for those who wonder what the “posh boat” was about.

I was actually one of those million souls, who sailed the QE2.
For our 20th anniversary, I booked passage, managing to keep it a secret from Zelda.
Our cabin, barely above the water line, was minuscule and barely within our financial means.
I paid extra for a porthole, which, owing to extremely rough seas, was sealed with a steel plate for the duration.

Unlike cruise ships, dinner was black tie, tux or suits for men, gowns for women.
Dinner was also 6:00 PM or 8:00 PM.  Period.
When I advised the agent we would prefer 6:00, he adamantly opposed.
“What’s so bad about 6:00?”  I asked.  - -  “Wheelchairs and walkers.”  - -  Dinner at 8:00 it was.

By sheer luck, the trip was movie themed.  Telluride honchos brought a dozen not-yet-released films.
Speakers included Peter Bogdanovich, Ken Burns, Roger Ebert, Paul Schrader, Chuck Jones.
You could catch lectures or simply share a private conversation in one of the many pubs.

The North Atlantic was rough, the ship groaned and shuddered most of the crossing.
Numerous passengers were seasick.
One of our dinner companions was a young Air Force officer.  One evening he confessed that while jogging on rain soaked decks, he had slipped and had almost slid overboard.  None would have noticed his disappearance.
Intrigued, we asked our guest officer if this had ever happened.  He smiled and gestured indifferently.
"How soon before anyone realized?"  Zelda pressed.
The officer gingerly wiped his mouth with his napkin.  "It would be altogether rude of a guest to leave unannounced,"  he smiled.  "Terribly poor manners."

For our 25th anniversary, we sailed again.  I booked an interior room and paid a quarter of what I had before.
We were seasoned travelers by then, also less wide-eyed.
We noticed, while the QE2 was still the same, the vibe was different.
Carnival had purchased the line, and crustier Brits commented about slipping standards.
No Telluride theme, no famous speakers.  Instead of ships officers, our dinner table included a blustery Teamster who always got red-faced drunk before he arrived.
Hard to blame new ownership.  You could visit Vegas twice, each stay would differ.
Nonetheless, both were magical trips, which I never regretted spending money on.

Outrage - 1950 - USA

Outrage - 1950 - 6/10

Ann has just gotten engaged.  Head in the clouds, she heads home through the factory distract.
Is observed, followed, chased, raped (although that word is never spoken).

 
In later times there would be support groups, counselors.
Yet in 1950, there is stigma.  Neighbors and coworkers watch, point, whisper.
So Ann bolts, hops the Los Angeles bound bus, gets off in nowhere.
Reinvents herself with a new name.
Noirish “message” film, packs a nice punch, and while still informed by the white bread mores and restrictions of the 1950‘s, this is still relevant today.  Sadly.

Toast Of London: S01 - 2012 - UK

Toast Of London: S01 - 2012 - 7/10

Perhaps an acquired taste, but if you are one for British humor, this is a gem.
Steven Toast is a journeyman actor, clearly on the downside of his career.
He does voiceover work, TV work when available, indie movies, theatre boards.
Currently his is acting in what is considered one of the worst plays ever.
He is pompous, cocksure (in more ways than one as there is a lot of rogering in this series), extremely annoying to those around him, and tearfully funny as episodes build.
This is packed with theatre jokes and many guest stars.
For a half hour show, it is generous with plot and laughs.
Example - In the S01 finale, Toast auditions for - he wrongly assumes 007 - and screws that up.

 
Next, he loses a fortune to Lloyd Webber playing poker.  He runs from a hit man, shags a rival’s wife, finds time to act in his nude musical, and mangle his voiceover work.  Awesome Bond opening credits!
Priceless satire.

Touch And Go - 1991 - Hong Kong

Touch And Go - 1991 - 6/10
AKA - Yi chu ji fa //  翻天鵝

After showering in front of the whole street, cafe worker Fat Goose witnesses a cop killing.
Life expectancy for crime witnesses runs between days and hours.
Especially after the squad house gives Fat Goose and number and advises him to phone if he’s about to get killed.
The criminals are unstoppable, and soon begin terrorizing and liquidating.

 
Odd Ringo Lam film with Sammo Hung as bumbling, frightened witness.
Hung excellent in sloppy, comical fight sequences (I have never cared for these).
Brutal action does not mesh with silliness.
Irene Wan shines as the illegal migrant in uneven film.

Wild Things - 1998 - USA

Wild Things - 1998 - 6/10

 
Kelly and Suzie have a plan.  Involves a slight case of murder.
But they know a cop, a dirty one.  And a popular teacher, easy to shag.
Thing is, the participants are all sharpers, wary and calculating.
Delicious Neo-Noir thriller set in the swamps.
Narrative packed with twists and hairpin turns.
Bill Murray memorable as sleaze bag attorney, but the whole cast is top of their game.
Steamy, sexy, wickedly crafted.

Kurokôchi - 2013 - Japan

Kurokôchi - 2013 - 7/10
AKA - クロコーチ

Sleazy, dishonest, crooked, scheming, even murderous.
Barely comes close to describing the used car ethics of Detective Kurokôchi.

 
He extorts money from politicians, covers-up killings by businessmen, blackmails anyone he can slip the wedge under.
For all that, he is almost a breath of fresh air in the entrenched law enforcement hierarchy.
And, as the 10 episode series unfolds, he digs deeper and deeper into a long buried mystery.
The 300 Million Yen Bank Robbery of 1968 (actual event).
Forces behind the vanished monies, one soon realizes, are powerful and secure.
Nevertheless, they never take the shifty Kurokôchi for granted.
He is partnered with a by-the-book individual, whom he shamelessly exploits.
Very much a game of lies, knives and smiles.  Irresistible!

Checkpoint - 2022 - USA

Checkpoint - 2022 - 6/10

 
“Go.  Seek penance.  Reveal your worth.”
The man wakes in the wilderness, an extraordinarily dangerous environment.
Where he dies.  Again and again and again.
Each time, learning and advancing towards an uncertain goal.
Survival short, a brutal riff on Groundhog Day, drives hard and does not outstay its welcome.
Lost me with the ending, though.

Invasion Of The Bee Girls - 1973 - USA

Invasion Of The Bee Girls - 1973 - 6/10

“Zzzzz” aired in 1964 on The Outer Limits.
The beehive designs a young queen to resemble a human for interspecies mating.

 
Great plan?  Well, her target is a stuffy professor, loyal to his wife.
In the end, our young queen shrugs and gives up, unaware she could have scored with any horny teenager, rowdy fratboy, jock, the mailman, postman, you name it.
Because the young queen is an exotic hottie.
Fast forward a decade, and I imagine producers revamped this concept for the trashy drive-in thriller, Invasion Of The Bee Girls.
These worker bees are far more successful with male / female mating.
For those less knowledgeable about bees, male drones, during a successful romp have a highly sensitive appendage broken off, and they die.
After a tumble in this flick, menfolk likewise perish, though we are not told how.
As more men succumb to the throes of ecstasy, a government agent teams up with a curvy bee specialist.
Alert viewers might well speculate that once her eyeglasses come off, so will a whole lot more.
That fails to reckon with the Bee Girls strategy of transforming more human females into, you got it, sexually voracious mantraps.

 
Resistance is futile, future honeypot.
Fun, sexy nonsense with flesh and adult situations.
Newer DVD miss some nudity but look better than previous DVD that had the extra bits.

Emma Bovary - 2021 - France

Emma Bovary - 2021 - 6/10

 
Gustav Flaubert goes on trial for corruption of public morals with his indecent “Madame Bovary”.
Concurrent with the trial, the narrative of the book plays out.
For courtroom drama fans, the jurors are all male.
Emma begins as an innocent, but quickly develops a taste for better things.
Along with men, younger than her adoring, if overworked husband.
Her affairs seem closer to those of “Thérèse Raquin” in heedless carnality.
Glossy, simplified to be sure, but should provide a quick digest for lazy students.

Ian Fleming: Where Bond Began - 2008 - UK

Ian Fleming:  Where Bond Began - 2008 - 7/10

 
Engaging documentary of the writer, focusing on his newspaper years (where he learned his craft) and WWII service in Naval Intelligence (where he saw firsthand the world of espionage).
Enjoyable for Bond buffs, though this is not about 007, but the creator.
In a delicious irony, Fleming’s voiceover is done by Jonathan Pryce (AKA: Elliot Carver).
Joanna Lumley, a sometimes cheeky presenter, was a Bond girl, and was in The New Avengers.
Much of this will be interesting to newcomers, and the history is more accurate than 2014‘s Fleming.

It Came From Outer Space - 1953 - USA

It Came From Outer Space - 1953 - 5/10

 
I last saw this in the 70’s, in 3D (yes, the theater provided glasses) and remember being unimpressed.
Aliens land in the remote Arizona desert and start to mind control the locals.
Fortunately there is a nearby astronomer, with fiancée, who recognizes strange goings on.
A few equate this with Invasion Of The Body Snatchers except this predates that film by a few years.  
Theremin music is fairly eerie.  The 3D effects?  I was not wearing glasses (and I wasn’t stoned) so they don’t come across as well.  I keep remembering that I jumped in my seat years ago.
Not a complete miss for me, might be better if you are in the mood.

Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer - 1986 - USA

Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer - 1986 - 6/10

 
Kinda sorta based on Henry Lee Lucas, murderer who falsely admitted killing 600.
Here, Henry is a drifter and opportunist.
Egged on by companion Otis, they proceed on a deadly spree.
There are a series of brutal killings, yet splatter hounds may be disappointed.
The tone is deadbeat and grim throughout, as if killing is a boring habit, a job that pays poorly.
Michael Rooker is fine as the emotionally numb Henry, while Otis and his sister are more complicated.
I appreciated the acting and the bleak tone.
This is one ugly film, though.

Black Sun - 2022 - USA

Black Sun - 2022 - 6/10

 
One crew member was revived early.  Five years too early.
He has lost his sanity, thanks to the ship A I who has read way too much “Paradise Lost” by Milton.
SciFi short has excellent visuals of the ship, space, rudimentary ones of humans.
The “plot” is less than a sketch.
Consider this an art installation at a SciFi convention.
Watch for a bit, then walk on.
Subtitles = https://subscene.com/subtitles/checkpoint/english/2948917

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex - 1972 - USA

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex - 1972 - 6/10

 
Uneven assortment of comic sketches based on the bestseller by Reuben.
Skits range from uproarious to tasteless, depending I imagine on the viewer.
Social norms have also dated a few.  Transvestites  and sexual perversions come to mind.
Still, when it works, this rolls along.
The mad professor (John Carradine), deranged cub scouts, monster mammary.
Exhibitionism, styled after Italian cinema.
The inner workings of the male body, when the cards seem to be lucky.
Those who long for a zanier, sillier Woody, this has classic moments.

The Bonnie Parker Story - 1958 - USA

The Bonnie Parker Story - 1958 - 6/10

Wild retelling of Bonnie & Guy (yes, Guy, not Clyde) and their spree in the panhandle region during the 30's.
Bonnie is the cigar chomping, tommy gun crazy, kickass boss of small time gang.

 
They knock over hardware stores, gas stations, diners until she bullies her crew into robbing banks.
Film is peppered with explosions, gun battles, car chases, and arguments.
Menfolk don’t stand a chance.
Music is 30's Swing combo, hillbilly, and 50's jukehouse.
Dorothy Provine landed this ultimate hard blonde role and rode it for all it was worth.
Even during lulls, she is electric.

 

New Jack City - 1991 - USA

New Jack City - 1991 - 6/10

 
Nino builds a crack team, literally.
Dealing in those illegal goodies that make your heart go boom.
The team of crooks, Cash Money Brothers, lay the groundwork with care, then royally harvest.
Their blind spots seem obvious, clumsily built in, and ought to have been better thought out.
One of those gangster sagas where you root for the villains.
Wesley Snipes began a heady run with this, and he ought to have won awards or been nominated.

Russian Ark - 2002 - Russia

Russian Ark - 2002 - 7/10
AKA - Russkiy Kovcheg

 
Visual tour de force, although the narrative may leave one in bewilderment.
We become the roused consciousness of the roused visitor, wandering through the Hermitage.
From room to room, following beckoning laughter, into parties, into the swirl of history.
Grand balls and visions of rulers, flashes of history sweep past.
All film students ought to view this one.
Ninety minutes packed in a single tracking shot.
On repeated views, one may catch mistakes by extras, but the feast for the eyes overwhelms.

The Goes Wrong Show: The Nativity - 2020 - UK

The Goes Wrong Show: The Nativity - 2020 - 8/10

 
Early on, I’m going,  “Oh, I hope they can keep this up.”
And do they ever!  A half hour of nonstop jokes, gags, farce.
The stage is deliberately cheap, akin to the worst of amateur theatre.
Nevertheless, this is howlingly funny.
Alas, wouldst there had been a second play the following Yule.

A Taste Of Honey - 1961 - UK

A Taste Of Honey - 1961 - 6/10

 
High school senior Jo and mother, barfly Helen spit and feud ceaselessly.
Forever behind in rent, they flee from one flat to the next.
Once there, Helen drags home boyfriend de jour for a tumble.
Not exactly rivals, they are simply an ill fit and tired of each other.
Jo eventually moves out, finds work, rents what appears to be warehouse space.
She is actually doing pretty well, though complications are swelling.
Film is very much of a time and place, post WWII London.
Viewers who can relate to the era and situations may appreciate more and score higher.

Lake Mungo - 2008 - Australia

Lake Mungo - 2008 - 7/10

 
Family outing at the lake goes badly wrong when Alice vanishes.
Rescue teams arrive, and after a few days her drowned body is recovered.
Not the end of the tragedy, however, as a presence soon haunts the house.
Cameras are placed to capture images, and a psychic is consulted.
Events grow progressively weirder.
Part supernatural, part mystery, part suspense.
Viewers, along with friends and family members, discover a darker, and darker, side to Alice.
As a stunned friend said,  “Alice kept secrets.  I knew one Alice, her mum knew another, and there was another one that none of us knew.”
Terribly overlooked gem.

Prey - 2022 - Comanche

Prey - 2022 - 6/10

 
1749, alien Predator arrives in North America’s upper Great Plains and begins hunting.
From snakes to wolves to bears to humans.  French trappers and Comanche warriors.
This has a nice slow burn build to it, and human hunters put up fair resistance.
When they seem close to winning, the Predator resorts to “cheating” as one swore at it.
Closing scene underwhelms, and the director should have reshot.
Look, I understand qualms about our hero.  Size, gender.  Deal with it, or don’t watch.
Remember, you are already accepting the notion of an interstellar alien traipsing the woods.
I watched the Comanche language version.

Criminal Lovers - 1999 - France

Criminal Lovers - 1999 - 6/10
AKA - Les Amants Criminels

 
Another French film of young love.
Pair of high school teens commit a grisly murder, then go on the run.
Fleeing into the forest, they break into an isolated cabin.
The woodsman returns, overpowers both, and drags them into a deranged version of Hansel and Gretel.
Starvation and force feeding commences, since the man prefers girls rail thin and boys plump and soft.
Flashbacks of school days alternate with soapy water, bondage and escalating violations.
Frightening film by François Ozon never flinches from the brutality the teens dispense, yet includes scenes that remind viewers that the pair are, in many ways, barely out of childhood.
Absolutely not for the squeamish.

Cinderella: A Comic Relief Pantomime - 2020 - UK

Cinderella: A Comic Relief Pantomime - 2020 - 5/10

 
Someday, this will be a time capsule on how Covid made for odd decisions.
Such as, the panto show must go on.  Pandemic?  What pandemic?
A bevy of actors, comedians, influencers, act a Cinderella story from their homes.
They react to each other, and forced merriment abounds.
Recall the party you attended which someone recorded.  Drunk, stoned silliness, curdled by dawn.
If you MUST have Cinderella for Christmas, track down BBC’s “Charles Paris: Cinderella Killer”  with Bill Nighy.

Cover Girl Models - 1975 - Philippines

Cover Girl Models - 1975 - 5/10

 
Three girls and a photographer head off to exotic Hong Kong and regions thereabouts.
Once there, they are unwittingly involved with smugglers and espionage.
Not that they know, they are mostly hapless eye candy.
They bring their own wardrobes (please, designers would supply fashions they wanted showcased) that appear to have been grabbed out of a fabric shop.
On the sly, the photographer keeps pushing for nude spreads for girlie mags.
The girls refuse, they are fashion models after all, but there is nudity throughout.
Poodle fur, pointless drive-in goop.

Comfort And Joy - 1984 - UK

Comfort And Joy - 1984 - 5/10

 
Scottish radio announcer gets entangled in ice cream truck feud.
Mister Bunny (no more Mister Softy!) trucks vandalize McCool trucks and vice versa.
In other hands, this might have been a holiday turf war.
Instead, this is weird for the sake of weirdness.
No character development - indeed, even the main character, one Dickie Bird, is barely a sketch.
A “wintery" film, the story is fairly depressing and meanders a lifeless path.
Of course that may well be the point, that the Life path is a dreary myth.
I screened this theatrically when it first came out.  I had no memory of it because it is not memorable.
Quirky, not comedy, and not as charming as I had recalled.

Jodorowsky’s Dune - 2013 - France

Jodorowsky’s Dune - 2013 - 7/10

 
Documentary about the failed attempt to film Herbert’s “Dune” by outsider filmmaker, Alejandro Jodorowsky, in 1975 - years before the 1984 Lynch version.
The pitch, which was a telephone sized book, was fully story-boarded by French artist Mœbius.
Other members of the creative team included the little known Giger, Chris Foss and Dan O’Bannon.
The tentative cast included David Carradine, Orson Welles, Mick Jagger, Salvador Dali, Gloria Swanson.
Missing anyone?  Oh yeah, music by Magma and Pink Floyd.
Numerous interviewees discuss conception, building the foundation, then the collapse of the project.
Jodorowsky, while not bitter, does blame corporate Hollywood and lack of artistic vision.
Problem is, the 70's was one of the most experimental and free-wheeling decades in film.
What they balked at was a 15 hour film by an unknown director whose three films were well beyond the outer fringe of the arthouse sphere.
Arguments about how great Jodorowsky’s Dune would have been fail to fully factor the director’s past track record.
Simply put, this would not have been Star Wars.
The creative team went on to acclaim with Alien and beyond.
One might assume I did not like this.
No.  This is constantly interesting.
I simply found too many of the presumptions flawed.

Flaming Brothers - 1987 - Hong Kong

Flaming Brothers - 1987 - 6/10
AKA - Gong woo lung foo dau  //  江湖龍虎鬥

 
The boys bond on the streets, steal food from the Catholic church, run errands for coins, fight for each other.
Fast forward, two men now.  They have a small casino, run gambling, have a brothel.  No drugs.
Profits attract a powerful boss, who demands respect.  How much respect?  80% of profits.
Brace for impact.
There are three or four major gun battles in this, along with a fun chase in tuk-tuks through Thailand.
Along with insipid comic relief, romances that kill the pace.
Alan Tang and Chow Yun-Fat make a great team!  Even resemble brothers.

The Cutting Edge - 1992 - USA

The Cutting Edge - 1992 - 6/10

 
Winter perennial, although less here after my bride tired of figure-skating melodramatics.
Ex hockey enforcer, following injury, grudgingly agrees to pair with female prima donna.
Bickering, training, training, training, romantic entanglements.
Solid romantic comedy, and the premise, while Hollywood, is not as far-fetched as one might assume.
There was Rocky and Calla, the truck driver and the waitress.
Madison Hubbell and Zach Donohue, still skating though divorced, who dislike each other.
Don’t even get me started about Nancy and Tonya.

Strangled - 2016 - Hungary

Strangled - 2016 - 7/10
AKA - A Martfüi Rém

 
Réti stalks his girlfriend as she leaves the shoe factory, attempting to reconcile.
Not interested.  So he threatens her, smacks her, and the next morning her body is found.
After a few days of police interrogation he confesses and is sent to prison.  Case closed.
Except a few years later, a similar murder occurs.  Followed by another, then another.
Local police come under extreme pressure.
Communistic Hungary does not make mistakes!  There is no serial killer in Communistic Hungary.
In other words, investigators cannot let on there is a sex murderer loose.
Or that the State could possibly have made a mistake.
Political interference and restrictions enhance based-on-actual-murders series.

Still Crazy - 1998 - UK

Still Crazy - 1998 - 6/10

 
70’s British rockers Strange Fruit attempt a reunion after a 20 year hiatus.
They are older.  Most have found day jobs.  The road, instability, rejection, no longer tempt.
A key member is long gone, however.  Probably dead.
This is British, not American.  While this flirts with feel-good territory, it is not a given.
My take is this is a cozy noisy film, little seen, and very entertaining.
Terrific casting!  Lead singer Ray would be reborn as Billy Mack a few years later.

Strippers - 2015 - UK

Strippers - 2015 - 6/10

 
Thinking about a Highland excursion? Here's a deal sweetener!
Three part documentary of the stripper industry in Scotland, focusing on dancers in three cities:  Glasgow, Edinburgh and Aberdeen.
“Decent” clubs are shown, where management seems to care about their girls.
No mention of crime, traffickers or drugs.
Girls fret about money - parents - boyfriends - stigma.
Not surprisingly, younger girls suffer more than seasoned professionals.
Mix of Scottish lasses, with those who travel a global circuit.
One Texas girl sported a Bettie Page look which the locals mistook for Amy Winehouse vibe.
Some may find this interesting, others might hit MUTE and crank grind music.
Chances are, this will entice the cultured crowd who appreciate artistic dance.

 

A Christmas Carol - 2020 - UK

A Christmas Carol - 2020 - 6/10

 
Yes, another version of the Dickens’ warhorse.
This “lockdown” performance hails from the Old Vic Theatre.
Photography for the socially distanced actors is imaginative.
Split screens, double exposures, shrewd lighting tricks.
Casting strives to be inclusive, which I have no problem with.
The three ghosts are female.  The cast represents modern London demographics, the attempt seems partial, you cannot please everyone.
Liberties have been taken with the text, the narrative, which will distress purists.
Miking ranges from acceptable to inaudible.
Disappointing, as this is apparently beloved, but I would suggest finding another rendition.

Shaolin Soccer - 2001 - Hong Kong

Shaolin Soccer - 2001 - 6/10
AKA - Siu Lam Juk Lau // 少林足球

 
One of Stephen Chow’s most successful and accessible films.
An ex-monk, wanting to bring Shaolin doctrines to the masses, decides soccer is the vehicle,
With five other monks and a ragtag team, they build victories.
Until they encounter Team Evil, reliant on performance drugs.
Fair play versus cheating.  Honor versus treachery.
Will good prevail?
Miramax, then owned by Disney, got the rights and poorly distributed this Stateside.
Or Disney planned to remake this with Western adolescents.  Who knows?
Terrific crowd pleaser and constantly funny.
Still banned in mainland China.

Miss You Already - 2015 - UK

Miss You Already - 2015 - 5/10

 
Drew and Toni on the cover, with the “miss you” title, I knew exactly how this would play, who was going to be the sufferer, and how events would transpire.
I was correct across the board.
Predictable tale of best friends forever, where one faces the ultimate battle.
Great chemistry between leads cannot compensate for oft repeated tale (reference to Beaches does not help).
Both women are too old for their roles, also.
Some of you will get stuck watching this beside your better half.  Too bad.

Bones Of Steel - 2020 - Japan

Bones Of Steel - 2020 - 6/10
AKA - Tetsu no hone  // 鉄の骨

 
Heita (right) works as site inspector for the construction firm.
His overzealousness gets him transferred to HQ Operations.
Abilities, idealism, or less obvious reasons.
The mid-sized company has trouble competing against the large groups.
Nevertheless, all outfits engage in illegal bid-rigging and collusion.
Legal and ethical concerns weigh against company loyalty and climbing the corporate ladder.
Sharp “business drama” is a mere five episodes, so easily watched.
If you develop a taste for this, check out the superb Hanzawa Naoki.

Persuasion - 1995 - UK

Persuasion - 1995 - 7/10

 
Concise adaptation of Jane Austen’s novel serves the passionate undercurrents.
Thwarted romantics Anne Eliot and Captain Wentworth are older in this version.
Good Society advised against their match years before, to their profound regret.
Years on, the flame still flickers, while “Society” still disapproves.
Wonderfully understated film of repressed emotions, family expectations.
This hews closest to the book.
Subsequent films deliver a steady increase of emotional outbursts by younger protagonists.
Janeites, this is the one.  Those insisting on dramatics, go later.

Kentucky Fried Movie - 1977 - USA

Kentucky Fried Movie - 1977 - 6/10

Series of unconnected comedy sketches, similar to the fledging Saturday Night Live but with more blatant sexuality.
The skits vary considerably, from hilarious to tasteless to dated and incomprehensible.
There are about 20 bits, ranging from seconds in length to longer.  Highlights include:
“Catholic High School Girls in Trouble” – parody of sexploitation romps, popular in the 70‘s.
“The Wonderful World of Sex” – the couple retire for romance, but first spin the how-to LP.
“Eyewitness News” – where the TV reporters can eyewitness participants on the couch.
The real gem is “A Fistful Of Yen”, a 30’ spoof of kung fu films, particularly Bruce Lee.

 
A sinister mastermind, his indomitable fortress, an army of thugs. And one smart-ass hero.
This film is where the Zucker team cut their teeth, paving the way for Airplane, Naked Gun, Scary Movie, etc …

Pumping Iron 2: The Women - 1985 - USA

Pumping Iron 2: The Women - 1985 - 6/10

 
Following the success of the first film (Arnold vs Lou Ferrigno), filmmakers eyed female bodybuilders.
Eventually honing in on the popular Rachel McLish against muscled-to-the-max Bev Francis.
Bev is cast as a naive innocent, akin to Lou Ferrigno.
McLish, who had won numerous competitions is shown in a darker light, akin to Ken Waller.
The doc is uncomfortably funny, as Bev Francis is clearly the most muscular, though not particularly feminine.
Event organizers wring their hands throughout, anticipating a negative crowd reaction.
More soap opera than documentary, with an infuriating ending.

Blood Relatives - 1978 - Canada

Blood Relatives - 1978 - 5/10
AKA - Les Liens de Sang

 
Somewhat overlooked Claude Chabrol potboiler of gruesome murder.
Cast is French, Canadian and English, setting is Montreal.
Female cousins, returning home from late night party, are assaulted, one murdered.
Detective (Donald Sutherland) starts investigating, focusing on family and coworkers.
Perhaps more sensational in its day, the narrative thuds, though sleazy sidetracks spice it up a bit.
Hairstyles and clothes are pure late 70's, though no other cultural references.
Chances are, early on alert viewers will guess the slasher’s identity.
Might even guess the motivation.
Dud.

Tár - 2022 - USA

Tár - 2022 - 7/10

 
Lydia Tár, premier “female” conductor of her time, prepares to conclude her Mahler cycle.
She leads the BPO (Berlin Philharmonic), teaches at Juilliard, composes, gives sold out speaking engagements.
Her home life is settled and secure.  Rival conductors seek her counsel.
Bright days ahead, yes?
A young protégé has committed suicide.  Tár wants to replace an aging, beloved assistant conductor.
Then there is the young cellist, ripe with youth.
Deep character study of an artist not quite recognizing how turbulent are the waters they have stirred,
Early sections may remind one of Clouds Of Sils Maria, later of Blue Jasmine.
Make no mistake, this is arthouse.  Steeped in classical music.
Dropped names include Bernstein, von Karajan, Furtwängler, Dutoit, Levine.  Even a sly comment about Gould.
Performances include the Mahler 5, Elgar’s Cello Concerto, Bach.
Exceptional performance by Cate Blanchett in an engrossing, if overlong film.

Camping - 2016 - UK

Camping - 2016 - 6/10

 
Weekend campout / birthday celebration in the cabins, close by a beach.
The mild-mannered man and his overbearing wife.
Our caretaker, who could be janitor at Camp Crystal Lake.
Enter the late arrivals, the recently separated man and his eager beaver girlfriend.
Add alcohol, old resentments, jealousy, rampant sexual antics.
Wildly incorrect Julia Davis series boasts drug use, nudity, unappealing ruttings.
If you have a taste for Julia Davis’s work, this is laugh out loud funny.
Beware the sanitized USA remake.

Emma - 1996 - UK

Emma - 1996 - 8/10

 
Emma Woodhouse, matchmaker in the worst manner, repeatedly fails to connect her targets.
At the same time, fumbling her own romantic affairs.
Of all the Jane Austen novels, this is one of the funniest.
Cast is picture perfect (even silver spoon Paltrow is great).
First rate across the board:  costumes, settings, period music, lush photography.
For guys worrying, this is not Hallmark kryptonite, though still a romantic comedy.

Danny Deckchair - 2003 - UK

Danny Deckchair - 2003 - 6/10

 
Danny, construction worker, is bored with his lot,
Worse, his girlfriend is unresponsive.
What to do?  How about string helium balloons to your lawnchair and up, up and away!
Adventures, national acclaim, a MYSTERY, then a new girlfriend!
Reinventing Oneself 101.
Silly, harmless romantic fluff, based, astoundingly enough on a real-life, and far more compelling, story.
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https://www.cartalk.com/radio/letter/lawnchair-pilot-larry-walters-0