Mario Cantone: Laugh Whore - 2005 - USA

Mario Cantone: Laugh Whore - 2005 - 5/10 

 
Standup routine before a sympathetic audience.
Catone jabs his Italian upbringing, mocks a bit of current events, kicks the South.
His impersonations are first rate:
Streisand, Hepburn, Stanwyck, Rivers, Cher, Oprah, etc …
Mostly gay icons; I am unsure whether he is being ironic or venting hostility.
His is not respectful homage, he skewers and ridicules.
Snarky comments mask envy and resentment.

Beyond The Poseidon Adventure - 1979 - USA

Beyond The Poseidon Adventure - 1979 - 4/10

 
The capsized liner from 1971 ain’t sunk yet!
Arrive, the jackals and hyenas … uh … salvage boats and profiteers.
The two sides, each declaring to help, soon help themselves.
Until greed takes over.
Inept, cheap sequel (more a remake) wastes a huge cast in boring disaster film.

Hold Me While I’m Naked - 1966 - USA

Hold Me While I’m Naked - 1966 - 5/10

 
“The only things in life worth living for.”
The fantasies and restrictions of the indie director.
From encounters behind stained glass to shaking antennas to banal mealtime.
Experimental film manages to be sexy, funny and depressing.

Black Dynamite - 2009 - USA

Black Dynamite - 2009 - 7/10 

 
Combat vet, and ex-agency operative, returns to street action after his brother is killed.
Who ya gonna trust?  Pimps, drug dealers, government honchos?
Everyone is victim, everyone is guilty in no-holds-barred parody / homage.
One doesn’t need to be fluent in Blaxploitation flicks, but it wouldn’t hurt.
If nothing else, check out Shaft, then Dolemite.
Laugh out loud funny throughout,  and the “look” (16mm) is vintage gold.

The Hidden - 1987 - USA

The Hidden - 1987 - 6/10

 
Los Angeles cops have their hands full with a spree murderer.
Mild mannered citizen, only he is now a raging killer.
After an onslaught of bullets, the perp is taken to hospital, where he is expected to die.
He expires, except what possessed him jumps.
An alien body jumper, with a taste for Ferraris, automatic weapons, and carnage.
Enter an FBI agent, knowledgeable about the quarry, in whatever host.
Wild SciFi, Horror, buddy cop flick, years ahead of its time.

Volcano - 1997 - USA

Volcano - 1997 - 5/10 

 
I think there were two volcano disaster flicks in ‘97.
Both equally silly.
Here, activity is occurring in the Los Angeles sewers.
Ain’t no colony of alligators neither.  Nor is it the long heralded “big one”.
Tommy Lee Jones hams his way throughout.
Formula script, characters behave like a party of squirrels.

The Whispering Shadow - 1933 - USA

The Whispering Shadow - 1933 - 5/10 

 
Aforementioned crime lord remains unseen, yet murders by radio waves (and TV for those few early adopters).
Nevertheless, he, his henchmen, and a whole mess of extras pursue the Czar’s jewels.
Mascot serial is cheap across the board: plotting, direction, logic, characters, action.
Bela is the best thing in it, and the main reason to view.
If you suffer insomnia, watch to help you kill another night.

The Woman In Red - 1935 - USA

The Woman In Red - 1935 - 6/10

 
Professional horsewoman meets amateur polo player.
Shelby works for rich Nicko, who is territorially possessive about Johnny.
Dressage, polo, stables, investors.
Nouveau riche vies with impoverished aristocrats.
I wonder if this had been a spicier Pre-Code a year earlier.
Stanwyck solid as ever, Raymond boyishly handsome, but bland.

Sinatra: All Of Nothing At All - 2015 - USA

Sinatra: All Of Nothing At All - 2015 - 7/10 

 
Two-part, four (4) hour biography of “the Voice” will be plenty for the genuinely curious.
For legions of fans, possibly not enough.
With permission from the Sinatra estate, this has a trove of photos personal items. 
Most everything is here: early chronology, crooner, Hollywood, Vegas.
As well as more unsavory avenues: philandering, the Mob, politics.
Cringe at the 4 hr length if you will.  After Sinatra’s death in 1998, a local station broadcast a ten hour documentary.
Oh, had I only I taped it. 

John Waters: This Filthy World - 2006 - USA

John Waters: This Filthy World - 2006 - 7/10 

 
Your mileage may vary.  I had seen Waters doing a live variation of this show in 2004.
Only a handful of what I recalled remained here.  Apparently, he frequently modifies this one-man show.
For fans, this is wonderful stuff, if a little dated (shock ain’t what it was).
Childhood, Baltimore, moviemaking, insane incidents, sexual experiences, actors.
I do remember, during the live show, him telling how buddies used to wear tennis shoes in the large Baltimore department store, let them get ripped up on the escalator, then receive brand new replacements!

Battlestar Galactica: Razor - 2007 - USA

Battlestar Galactica: Razor - 2007 - 7/10

 
A nice, brief return to form coming between soggy S03 and staggering S04.
This could pretty much have been called “Pegasus” since the bulk of the story occurs on that ship.
The vessel under Admiral Cain takes a more belligerent course than Galactica.
Wonderful flashback scene during the first Colonial War is a highlight and SHOULD have been a spinoff.
Character study of XO Smith shows writers could still create concise, compelling stories.

Ground Swell: The Other Side of Fear - 2022 - USA

Ground Swell: The Other Side of Fear - 2022 - 7/10

 
This opens and closes at Navare, Portugal.
In-between: Jaws, Pipeline, Mavericks.
The big waves, fifty to one-hundred feet.  The monsters.
If you want travelogues or board stunt work, this ain’t it.
This is surf porn, with lots of drone camerawork.
View with the biggest screen you can find.

The Haunted Palace - 1963 - USA

The Haunted Palace - 1963 - 6/10 

 
The village of Arkham finally has enough of Curwen, the aristocratic dabbler.
Even dying, he swears vengeance on the Arkham descendants.
100+ years pass and the estate goes to his descendant, Charles Dexter Ward.
A hilltop palace, with two surviving (?) servants and a framed portrait.
Guess whose personality begins to overrule young Ward?
Poe title, Lovecraft setting and characters, Price and Chaney give good performances.

Outside The Wall - 1950 - USA

Outside The Wall - 1950 - 6/10 

 
Larry, in the prison since he was 15, receives a pardon and enters the big city at 30. 
His ignorance of society pales next to his innocence of females.
Who, despite his reticence and reserve, are attracted to him, mostly with ill intent.
Basehart does well as the naive Larry, quickly calloused and tempted back into the old life.
Prison itself is misrepresented as a happy place, full of smiles.

Hansel And Gretel - 2007 - USA

Hansel And Gretel - 2007 - 6/10

 
Two children dash off into the woods, exploring, seeking adventure.
Which they find, rather, a witch finds them!
Oh, tasty, tasty, what a meal they’ll make.
Period costumes are OK, gingerbread house imaginative.
I believe, in trying to lend a fairytale sensibility, it was undershot, the focus too soft.
This grows extremely tedious.
Earliest film from Robert Eggers shows promise.

Pitch Black - 2000 - USA

Pitch Black - 2000 - 6/10 

 
Spacecraft is perforated by meteorites and crash lands on an uninhabited desert planet.
Survivors are a mixed lot, including a taciturn killer, Riddick.
Empty, the desert planet is not, for there are creatures that emerge at night.
And a very long night, indeed, is approaching.
First in the Riddick franchise makes the most of a limited budget and relies on Diesel’s charisma.
Predictable formula of “another one bites the dust” is, nevertheless, blushing fun. 

One For The Road - 2023 - USA

One For The Road - 2023 - 6/10

 
The party in the bar is breaking up.
Then a couple of the guests ask the old barfly, Booth, about the history of ‘Salem’s Lot.
Acceptable adaptation of the King sequel.
Acting is passable, the black and white flashbacks are well done.  
For buffs of the writer, this should grow on you, draw you in.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3372458

Vivacious Lady - 1938 - USA

Vivacious Lady - 1938 - 6/10

 
Milquetoast professor goes to the Big Apple to fetch a feckless cousin.
In the nightclub, he spies the songbird and it’s love at first sight.
Within two days, they are married and heading back to small town USA.
Where he does tell his parents, his students, or fiancé that he wed a blonde lounge singer.
What would others think?  Dude, grow a spine.
Jimmy Stewart with his bumbling, stammering shtick grows tiresome; the romance rang false.
1930’s RomCom has dated badly for me.  Resonated more with Depression audiences.

Escape From New York - 1981 - USA

Escape From New York - 1981 - 6/10 

  
“I heard you were dead.”
Manhattan is a fortified prison, the rest of the US of A, a fascist dystopia.
All well and good, until the President is captured and held by inmates.
Brass then opts to send an ex-commando, Snake, in via glider.
Where he finds a waiting cabbie!  Only in the movies, kids. 
Watch for a good cast, menacing set design, and action.  Disregard the lack of logic.

Ants - 1977 - USA

Ants - 1977 - 5/10 
AKA - It Happened At Lakewood Manor

 
A construction crew upsets a gargantuan colony of ants.
Do they notice?  Ha, ha, silly.
A hundred-year-old hotel, is now under attack by crawlies, as well as a greedy property developer.
Preposterous in many aspects, but will make you itchy, nevertheless.
Most of the “rescue” strategies turn out to be unintentionally funny.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3372261