2023/04/22

Louisiana Hussy - 1959 - USA

Louisiana Hussy - 1959 - 4/10

 
Laugh out loud trash of hip swaying female in backwater swamp hamlet.
Movie opens as a girl wearing tight slacks skedaddles out of a house, hops on a horse and giddyaps away.
Hollering menfolk, one shooting a pistol, chase after her to no avail.
Next scene, one of a pair of feuding brothers finds her out in the swamp while he’s out harvesting Spanish moss.
Sign outside his shack reads:  Fish - Fur - Moss.  A job is a job, I suppose.
Sooner than you can say,  “Is it warm in here or what?”  that female, the above mentioned “hussy” is digging her claws into barebacked men doing the horizontal hokey poke.
Generally to a sludgy blues score.
Late flashbacks reveal more men (surprise) and carnal wickedness.

 
This gem is like forty-eight ways bad, from acting to dialogue to editing to fisticuffs to overall structure.
Scenes are often inserted during a lull or exposition that have no bearing whatsoever to the story.
Like fifteen seconds of shack tramp grinding the Twist in her white bra and half slip.
Or when she strips naked and goes skinny dippin’.
For trash fans, this is a glorious film!  Jaw dropping lunacy abounds.
While I have a soft spot for hard blondes, actress Nan Peterson falls short in the bottled department, though she has an expressive feral-like face that really propels this low-rent love dart.

Last Knights - 2015 - UK

Last Knights - 2015 - 5/10

 
I noted Clive Owen and Morgan Freeman and I crossed my fingers, hoping they weren't slumming.
The Lord of the North (snow on ground) is summoned to the capital for extortion.
He refuses to pay the bribe, chastises onlookers in throne room, meets predictable fate.
No - it has a vibe going, but Knights is not a Game Of Thrones clone.
His realm is appropriated, honor disgraced, warriors scattered like winter leaves.
Then, said warriors bide their time - and wait - and wait.
Yes - a remake of Chūshingura, 47 Rpnin, countless other films, Kabuki, ballet ...
Once I recognized the story, I prepared for the long, slow middle.
Darkness and shadows disguise shortcomings, and there is too much slow motion in battles.
I could knock this around, but it is not meant to be a classic.
Multi-national action film, aimed for non-demanding young males.
Derivative vengeance popcorn, but OK.  Final fifteen minutes might please combat fans.

2023/04/19

Murders In Albi - 2021 - France

Murders In Albi - 2021 - 6/10
AKA - Meurtres à Albi

 
New police commissioner Annabelle returns to her hometown of Albi.
Just as a murder has been committed on an isolated farm.
With a phrase of Latin carved on the aged farmer’s chest.
No romance with older cop Marc, as he seems happily married.
As usual with French TV crime mysteries, glorious scenery, cookie-cutter plot.

Through The Darkness - 2022 - S Korea

Through The Darkness - 2022 - 7/10
AKA - Agui Maeumeul Ilgneun Jadeul  //  악의 마음을 읽는 자들

 
Sweeping story of the establishment and grudging acceptance of S. Korea’s Behavioral Analysis Team.
Criminal profilers.
While opening in 1975, the chronology runs from 1998-2007.
This charts the team, especially the head profiler, Song Ha-Young, and their work within Criminal Investigations, Forensics, etc …  Also some of the politics, rivalries, and funding problems.
NO romance in this one.
Several serial killers are interviewed, before the arcs of three emerge.
Unlike so much Hollywood fodder, this does not glorify murderers.
Outstanding series.  Must for crime fans.

2023/04/18

Bulldog Drummond - 1929 - USA

Bulldog Drummond - 1929 - 6/10

 
Ex-officer, seeking adventure, aids damsel in distress.  Actually, her uncle, imprisoned by criminals.
Very early talkie is a lot of fun!
Terrific, Expressionistic photography that one might later associate with Universal.
Not static like most talkies, the dialogue is clear.
Best however is Ronald Colman as Drummond.  Film relies on his charm and grace which are unfailing.
Fans of old dark house whodunits – this one!

I Was A Teenage Frankenstein - 1957 - USA

I Was A Teenage Frankenstein - 1957 - 4/10

 
Bob suffers a horrendous crash.  Thankfully, there is a handy surgeon who can mend him.
Wait a minute!  The doctor’s name is Frankenstein?  Who keeps alligators!
Bob’s restored face is one only Forrest Ackerman could adore.
Sorry teenage film, best suited for the makeout crowd at the drive-in, busy in the back.

2023/04/17

Hidalgo - 2004 - USA

Hidalgo - 2004 - 6/10

 
Washed up wrangler, now working with Buffalo Bill’s troupe, Frank accepts a challenge.
Long distance horse / rider endurance race in the Arabian desert.
Wily competitors, searing heat, minimal water, sandstorms.
Plot is somewhat a cross between Bite The Bullet and Iron Will.
Predictable, old fashioned oater boasts remarkable photography.
If the cowboy premise (with expected tropes) does not put you off, this is rousing adventure.

Babylon Berlin: S04 - 2022 - Germany

Babylon Berlin: S04 - 2022 - 7/10

 
So, after S03 I decided I was done with this series.
Until I misread that S04 would be the final season.
Wrong, fool.  Time covers 1931 (supposedly the series ends with 1933).
New characters are introduced, older ones elaborated on.
Fewer and fewer are compelling as individuals, their storylines less so.
Intriguing side adventure, however, follows Abe Gold on a quest through a doomed landscape.
Two major feuds dominate.  War between rival crime gangs, and the schism between the SA and SS.
The latter is highly absorbing, especially using the historical figure of Walter Stennes.
Mixed season, superior to S03.

2023/04/16

Black Snake - 1973 - USA

Black Snake - 1973 - 5/10

 
Lesser known Russ Meyer outing set in the Caribbean.
Slave owner and plantation boss, Lady Susan, keeps menfolk drained or submissive.
Gun toting, bullwhip snapping antics punctuate a low voltage film.
This is not Blaxploitation, not smutty, not trashy drive-in naughtiness.
Anouska, with excessive eyeliner, tries hard, too hard, to be cruel, sexy, wicked.
Tura Satana, she ain’t though.
Not classic Russ Meyer, either.

Under The Sand - 2000 - France

Under The Sand - 2000 - 7/10
AKA - Sous le Sable

 
After a few hours sunbathing, Marie realizes her husband has disappeared.
Hadn’t he told her he was just taking a quick swim?
His body is never found,
Not to worry, she still sees Jean in their house, still talks with him.
And continues to tell friends and family, he is still part of her day to day.
A day to day that grows more and more delusional.
Psychological descent from François Ozon.