Paul McCartney Really Is Dead - 2009

Paul McCartney Really Is Dead - 2009 - 8/10

 
Where or where to begin with this masterpiece?
In 1999, George Harrison was attacked at his Friar Park estate by a deranged fan.
Except it wasn't a crazy person, this was a hit ordered by MI 5. The same group who offed John Lennon in 1980.
Alarmed, George taped two microcassettes of a dark secret.
Paul McCartney, as we know him today, is a fake.
The real Paul died in 1966 in a car crash after picking up a lovely young fan named "Rita."

This insane "documentary" was one of the funniest things I've watched in years.
After Paul died, a MI 5 operative (Maxwell) installed a substitute to prevent millions of teenage fans from committing suicide. During interviews with random fans, I scoffed at the screen, "Those are American accents."
My bride was more specific, "Brooklyn."
That was one of countless errors and preposterous claims. George on the cassette does not sound like the real George. The Liverpool accent drifts in and out. Sometimes he pronounces his handler Maxwell, other times Mockswell.
If you are past your 40's you likely remember all this crap when it was current. I Was - 28 IF - O.P.D. and other clues. This film was a treasure trove of conspiracy whispers, including a whopper revealed at the end that I will not disclose here.
Paul McCartney Really Is Dead was gloriously, spectacularly awful! A must for fans of bad cinema.

Juarez 2045 - 2017 - USA

Juarez 2045 - 2017 - 4/10

 
Welcome to sunny Mexico, amigos!
Mexican cartel head acquires military robots to reinforce his team.
According to news flashes, carnage and rivers of blood spew in his wake.
The US of A sends in a black ops squad of Marines to take him down.
Fairly crappy movie all the way around.  Bad script, poor acting, sorry camerawork.
Haters of hand held cinematography will be seasick during battle sequences.
Much of this defies logic:  Marines wear combat gear throughout, either in the wastes or Juarez proper.
With more budget, this might be better, though the concept is still a knockoff.

Jerichow - 2008

Jerichow - 2008 - 5/10

 
German love triangle drama with three characters old-enough-to-know-better, making poor decisions.
Turkish owner of a string of snack stands hires a discharged vet to drive.
The boss has drinking problems, and a young, trophy wife, built like a snake (ie: not a gram of fat on her).
Classic rule - Don't bang the boss's wife. Secretary and daughter are bad enough, but the wife ...
Course then we would not have predictable movies like Jerichow.
"Making of" documentary tried to explain hidden motivations and underlying character issues.
Zzzzzzzz ....

Andy Parsons: Slacktivist - 2013 - UK

Andy Parsons:  Slacktivist - 2013 - 7/10

 
Stand-up comedian mixes everyday observations, personal foibles, and topical fury.
The latter has dated somewhat, and the second half of the show may prove too English for outsiders.
As political targets, bankers, celebrities lose relevance, the score should dip a point.
What is here is gold, however.  Parsons is not particularly foul mouthed, nor does he rely on salacious comments or belittling of vast swathes of the population.

The Man In The Back Seat - 1961 - UK

The Man In The Back Seat - 1961 - 6/10

 
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”  Wilde

Joe, bookie at the dog track, counts his earnings before heading home.
Joe never sees them, the two thugs who knock him unconscious then shove him into the car.
The story is now their’s, the two punks.
Tony and Frank, who drive all over London while Joe, handcuffed to his earnings, slowly bleeds out.
Compact Noir follows two losers, layabout schemer and spineless friend, down Dead End Alley.
Lady Luck, gracing them with one score, turns her back, and they hit one rotten break after another.
Brief, bleak, dark.

Hungry Hearts - 2014

Hungry Hearts - 2014 - 6/10

 
Jude and Mina meet cute, bounce the bedsprings, marry, have a baby!  The End.
Instead, as with most partnerships, they soon begin bickering.
How to raise the child, what foods to feed the child, what to expose the child to, what to shelter it from.
One parent is over-protective to the nth degree.  That said, food, water, air, all are less than safe.
Uncomfortable battle plays out, which will resonate with keep viewers who distrust the medical establishment, who refuse vaccinations, as well as parents who will do anything to keep their child healthy and safe.
Speaking of “safe,” this would complement 1995’s Safe with Julianne Moore.
For those who don’t have enough to worry about already.

The Children Of The Century - 1999

The Children Of The Century - 1999 - 5/10
AKA - Les Enfants du Siècle

 
French costumer.
Old fashioned potboiler detailing the affair between George Sand and poet/critic Alfred de Musset.
Despite fabulous sets (including the actual rooms Sand and Musset occupied in Hotel Danieli, Venice), and stunning costumes (including a sapphire ring and jewel-encrusted dagger belonging to Sand), and earnest acting, the film suffered from ham fisted, melodramatic direction.
Actors over-emoted, the narrative charged from major crises to tiny dustups like a careening speedboat.
The characters grew annoying, whining throughout.
I saw the long version, 135 minutes.   Spare yourself.

Afghan Star - 2009

Afghan Star - 2009 - 6/10

 
Afghanistan documentary.
The Afghanistan version of Pop Idol, American Idol, etc ...
Contestants compete for $5000 and the chance to be crowned Afghan Star.
For some, this meant risking their lives to sing.
Thousands try out, including two females, and navigate between tribal loyalties, religious decrees, threats, and many other difficulties.
Despite religious objections, the show was massively popular across all levels of society.
A bit predictable, yet a nice glimpse into a troubled country. For once, enjoyable reports.

Blue Note Records: Beyond The Notes - 2018

Blue Note Records:  Beyond The Notes - 2018 - 6/10

 
Casual documentary of the famed Jazz label.
80+ years told in an hour and a half.  While touching major bases, this is a shallow affair.
Label formation by two German refugees in the 1930’s, the shift to Bop, dormancy, revival.
A pack of current performers discuss history and influence, as well as passing the torch.
This was OK enough, certainly better than Echo In The Canyon.
Still … if you are curious about legendary Blue Note albums, do an internet search for “best Blue Note albums” and start your own musical journey. 

The Page Turner - 2006 - France

The Page Turner - 2006 - 8/10
AKA - La Tourneuse de Pages

 
Déborah François in a poisonous turn.
During her tryout recital to get admitted into a prestigious academy, a young girl’s dreams are destroyed by one of the judges.
The judge was a famous performer in her own right. Only she was bored, indifferent, and keeps answering her cellphone.  Even signed an autograph.
Ten years later.
The high strung pianist doesn’t recognize, let alone remember, the pretty blonde who becomes her page turner, confidant, trusted companion.
The young girl remembers the older woman, however. All too well.
Ice cold film of patience, leading to the twist of the knife.
Women seldom forgive, they never forget.

Everyone Else - 2009 - Germany

Everyone Else - 2009 - 4/10
AKA - Alle Anderen

 
Relationship drama.
A tenuous couple vacation in Sardinia, gradually realize they are incompatible.
He is a promising, young architect, serious, and stems from money.
She is poorer, would rather dance than read, and works as a music rep.*
The spark – connection – intimacy dissipates scene by scene.
Slow, talky. Characters neither likable nor unlikable. Boring.
Too bad this cannot be bottled, cure for insomnia = one spoonful.

*The girl worked as a Uni label rep.  Say what?
Most music field reps got canned from 2000 on, in increasing numbers as the filesharing decade progressed.
That lack of accuracy, one of dozens of missteps, make the characters and film less credible.
Had she been a bounty hunter, I would have found more believable.

The Escape - 2017 - UK

The Escape - 2017 - 7/10

 
Gemma Arterton haunting as mother at the end of her rope.
Breakfast, hustle the children to school, shop, clean house, retrieve children, prepare dinner …
The children scream, fight, make messes.  The husband, while sympathetic has his own needs.
She begins to fray at the seams, and most around her look on.
For all that, this is a quiet film.  Moody.
Tara is mostly silent, though expressions and feelings play out across her face.
Not an emotional power drama, a family losing their anchor.

Damo - 2003 - S Korea

Damo - 2003 - 7/10
AKA - Damo: The Legendary Police Woman  //  다모

 
K-drama sweeps insurrection, conspiracy, counterfeiting, along with loads of swordplay.
A sageuk (costume drama), set in bygone Joseon, this is historically questionable, but that’s probably not the point.
As one of the police branches pursues a gang of counterfeiters, the trail gradually leads to a more sinister organization.
Royal power, surrounded by corrupt courtiers, is challenged by rebels who demand a fairer, freer world.
The police try to infiltrate the outlaws using their damo, or tea server.
Through her eyes, we see both sides of the conflict, and you can feel your allegiance shift back and forth.
Production values are lavish throughout.  Gorgeous costumes, well appointed interiors.
There are 3-4 love triangles in this.  Emotional turmoil borders on melodrama at times, so expect tears, streams of them.

 
Did I mention action?  This boasts a lot.  Knives, swords, muskets, and powers of flying.
I generally try to avoid these costumers, I can’t decipher rank based on hats and beads, but this was enjoyable.
Nudged an extra point for sets, music, costumes, etc …

The Illusionist - 2010 - France

The Illusionist - 2010 - 7/10
AKA - L'illusionniste

 
Animated film based on Jacques Tati's script.
The passing of stage performers in the late 50's, yielding to the younger generation.
Sweet comedy, but sad. Haunting piano score.
Scant dialogue.

Aside: English music halls faded out in the 60's. Vaudeville, in the States, much earlier, with the Talkies.
You can still catch a remnant of Music Hall at The Players' Theatre, however, in London.

http://www.playerstheatre.co.uk/

I try to attend every time I visit London, though I must confess the passing of Dominic Le Foe altered the experience.

Phyllis And Harold - 2008 - USA

Phyllis And Harold - 2008 - 7/10

 
Documentary about the director (Cindy Kleine's) parents and their 55 year long "happy" marriage.
The husband was happy, he assumed the marriage was great, life was good, he was successful.
The wife, on the other hand ...
Secrets, big secrets, unhappiness, profound disappointment at the choice she made 55 years earlier.
Film not released until both spouses were dead.

Piégés - 2018

Piégés - 2018 - 5/10
AKA - The Reckoning

 
French two-parter appears to be clone of 2011 UK two-parter.
Elsa sits in an attorney’s office to hear of an unexpected bequest.
€5000 free and clear for showing up, €1 million if she performs a small task.
Murder a stranger.  Simple choice?  She also has an ill child needing expensive treatment.
First part holds interest as you gauge your own inclinations, and watch the story progress.
Second half hurtles off the rails, as the premise grows increasingly preposterous.

Cold Prey - 2006

Cold Prey - 2006 - 5/10

AKA - Fritt Vilt

 
Norwegian dead teenager flick.
After some business with a chase early on, newspaper and TV reports indicate 100+ skiers have mysteriously disappeared.
Cut to a SUV with five teens out for snowboarding jollies.
The serious couple, the horny couple, the jokster. Then they find - whoa! - a deserted ski lodge.
Predictable slasher genre. I knew who would die first, and who would survive or die last.
I knew this would be generic, but I couldn't stop myself.
Bubble head.

Edie - 2017

Edie - 2017 - 6/10

 
Geriatric widow decides she want to scale Scotland’s Suilven.
Travels to Scotland, does not fit in, and becomes an object of discreet ridicule.
She is aware, however, that locals see only her for her purse.
This self-awareness, and the unpleasant edge, keep this from being feel good hokum.
There are wonderful scenes of her existing in the moment, studying Life and Nature, capturing, perhaps, the last fond memories.
Sheila Hancock was 83 when she filmed this, and became to oldest person to scale Suilven.
Enjoyment might depend on how you feel about old people, and how close you are to the Reaper’s call.

Frankie - 2019

Frankie - 2019 - 7/10

 
Screen actress Frankie (Isabelle Huppert) is about to drop from the Parade.
Her “cured” cancer has returned as a blaze and she won’t see Christmas.
She arranges a final family trip to Sintra.  Her husband, her ex, her son, her step-daughter, a few others.
While not a meddler in the classic sense, Frankie does want to tie up a thread here and there.
The pace is languid, in a good sense, and Sintra is postcard beguiling.
As with actual family musterings, members drift in, disappear, resist civility.
Afterward, while I adored watching this, I sat wondering,  “is that it?”

Anvil!: The Story Of Anvil - 2008

Anvil!: The Story Of Anvil - 2008 - 6/10

 
One I had avoided for years. Spinal Tap meets Strange Fruit (Still Crazy), only Anvil was a real band, and their problems more depressing.
Decades earlier, Anvil influenced speed and thrash, and are still remembered by existing groups (interviews included members from Metallica, Slayer, Anthrax, guitarist Slash, etc ... ) This doc catches Lips (guitar/singer) delivering food (his day job), the band starting a disastrous Euro tour (underground dives, no money), too broke to make a new album.
One sorry aspect about the film was hearing Lars, Slash, Lemmy ... talk how great Anvil was.
Not one of them stepped up and offered a tour gig.
What’s that term when you talk out of the side of your mouth?  Oh yeah, hypocrite.
Anvil is an old group, chasing a rock and roll torch that flickered out quite awhile ago.
Not an uplifting or funny time.   In many ways, sad.  I was kinda bummed.

Mesrine: Part 2 - Public Enemy #1 - 2008 - France

Mesrine: Part 2 - Public Enemy #1 - 2008 - 8/10

 
The narrative picks up after Part 1, though Jacques Mesrine has suddenly moved back to France from Canada.
Robberies, gunfights, the never ending chase.
Escape from courthouse hearing, another escape from a maximum security prison.
All based on the real life character, up to his assassination by the police.
Action biography for adults. No CGI, no teenagers, no impossible stunt work.
Cassel should have been award nominated across the globe for these two.

Mesrine: Part 1 - Killer Instinct - 2008 - France

Mesrine: Part 1 - Killer Instinct - 2008 - 8/10

 
I always run hot and cold with Vincent Cassel. When he's too over the top, he can ruin an entire film.
Mesrine is a role he was born to play.
Cassel dominates every scene in Part One, as Jacques Mesrine begins his career of robberies and kidnappings in France, USA and Canada. Canadian prison farm sequence is nicely grim.
A solid action flick, without unnecessary pyrotechnics or college grad CGI.
Can't wait to see Part Two.

Affair In Reno - 1957 - USA

Affair In Reno - 1957 - 5/10

Lightweight (very) drama with comedy and crime elements.
J.B.’s high spirited daughter wants to marry … again.  This time to a casino owner / gangster.
Who does J.B. send to straighten this mess?  A dunce from public relations with the IQ of a hamster.
Straight off the man is out of his depth, menaced by thugs.
Not to fear, J.B. hires a bodyguard to protect him – and the $100,000 cash he is carrying.
Female bodyguard.
A flurry of sexist jokes and situations with zero innuendo or steam, and the comedy is trite.
Doris Singleton as the bodyguard is the best thing in this “feels like TV” twaddle.
The villains were well cast heavies.

 
Fans of television character actors from the 50’s and 60’s may smile seeing faces in this lemon.

Red, White And Zero - 1967 - UK

Red, White And Zero - 1967 - 6/10

Three experimental British shorts.
The first one, a silent with Zero Mostel, is an tedious farce.  A bit like Benny Hill, though more forced and without Hill’s mischievous tone.  Luckily this is the briefest, though I docked the series a point because of it.

 
Next is “The White Van” where an office girl hops a Manchester van to “see the city.”
Surreal, banal, funny, depressing.
Never dull, the tour is an odd, rather hypnotic journey.
The most mundane scenes of the everyday slice, mixed with color exotica.
No Swinging  Sixties, this.
Director Lindsay Anderson would strike gold soon after with If …, O Lucky Man and Britannia Hospital.

 
Finally Vanessa Redgrave as a cabaret singer who goes through her day, pretty much in song.
She daydreams of past relationships (Michael York & Douglas Fairbanks Jr), sings to unappreciative punters in the nightclub, chases the ghost of happiness.
colors in this are vibrant, in contrast to the emptiness of her life.
Although the songs are beguiling, they lack hooks and are not especially memorable.

The Columnist - 2019 - Netherlands

The Columnist - 2019 - 6/10
AKA - De Kuthoer

Columnist Femke receives hate mail, and contemptible comments from online trolls and bully followers.
“Don’t look at them!”  Is the advice she is given.  She cannot resist.
True to her journalistic roots, Femke searches for the real face behind the virtual avatar.

 
From stalking, to a brief introduction, polite confrontation, and the final departure.
Wicked comedy, though it belabors its point after an hour.
Makes an argument about free speech, and how such liberty only applies to oneself or one’s group.
The actual title, De Kuthoer, is not literally translated, though if you read aloud you will grasp the troll tweet.

Barbed Wire Dolls - 1976 - Switzerland

Barbed Wire Dolls - 1976 - 5/10

 
Women in prison film.  Sleaze overload by Jess Franco.
Ladies are incarcerated in Castillo, in Mediterranean or Caribbean.
The warden wears short shorts and a monocle, and is also a lesbian (surprise!).
Plot is a carousel of sexual violations, torture, prisoners lolling about in undress in their cells.
Repeat - repeat - repeat.
Clearly Franco (who appears as the deranged daddy in slow-motion flashback) had no script, no ideas.
Cobbled together from motifs from better, well more original, women in prison films, this lazy filmmaking grows downright boring after awhile.
Franco completists?  Watch it, chalk it up, move to a hopefully better reel of film.

We Are The Best! - 2013

We Are The Best! - 2013 - 6/10
AKA - Vi är Bäst!

 
In the 80's, three girls form a punk band, though obits for punk are already fading yellow.
One is frustrated, another rebellious, the third quiet, though possessing actual musical ability.
Viewers with a passing familiarity of The Shaggs may know what to expect, sonic wise.
The girls are young, two are 13, one may be 14, a horrible age, bucking peer pressure and walls.
Not a coming of age film, and not necessarily feel-good.
Despite their language, the girls still retain the grace of childhood which draws sympathy.
Captures that moment of adolescence before opportunities expand, while other choices disappear.

Faust - 1994

Faust - 1994 - 7/10
AKA - Lesson Faust

 
Paper flyers are pushed onto pedestrians, including our unnamed gentleman.
He sees a crude map, which he discards.  Once home, a copy of the map lies on his desk.
Curiosity wins out.
Following directions on the map, he finds a locked door, then a key, and he enters the rabbit hole.
Soon enough, he changes from ordinary soul to lead actor to Doktor Faustus.
Almost surreal interpretation of the Faust legend involves actors, marionettes, claymotion, cutouts.
This is a collision of theatre boards, pageant play, modern banalities.
Mephistopheles, and the “deal,” do not appear until a third of the way in.
Often confusing, never dull, multiple layers unroll simultaneously at times.