Mārama - 2025 - New Zealand

Mārama - 2025 - 6/10 

 
Mary Stevens receives passage money and hints about her parents.
An orphan, she travels from New Zealand to York, only to learn the man who contacted her is dead.
Local landowner Nathaniel empathizes and offers her a position as governess. 
The little girl is precocious, but the manor itself repeatedly sends warnings.
Mary Stevens, part of the Maori, possesses second sight and realizes the house has terrible secrets.
Brooding film, especially dark, draws from a wellspring of Maori culture and British colonialism.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3371749

Black Sheep - 2006 - New Zealand

Black Sheep - 2006 - 6/10

 
Science, so overrated. Messing with sheep DNA, what could go wrong?
Uh, they become carnivorous?  And zombie like, in that infectious.
Plus, there’s a ka-zilion of them in New Zealand.
Humans fare poorly.  Well, we’re guilty of so much anyway.
One-joke horror comedy does OK for awhile.
Loses steam along with overall freshness.

Love Birds - 2011 - New Zealand

Love Birds - 2011 - 6/10

 
Innocuous RomCom triangle.
A native Kiwi, recently dumped by his aspirational girlfriend.
An English Rose transplant, wary of messy entanglements.
And a duck.
If a joke, this would start “A Kiwi, a Rose and duck entered the bar …”
Not on par with classic RomComs of the 80’s and 90’s, but still an OK date flick.
Note: our male protagonist has a serious Queen fixation.  Prepare for Freddie.

Forgotten Silver - 1995 - New Zealand

Forgotten Silver - 1995 - 6/10

 
Documentary / biography of Colin McKenzie, New Zealand filmmaker of the Silent era.
A true innovator, yet is seemed everyone one of his breakthroughs collapsed.
His earliest film stock, for example, relied on albumen.  He was arrested for stealing 2000 eggs.
Years before Vitaphone, he developed sound, yet his players only spoke Chinese.
Thus it goes, inspiration undermined by a complete lack of common sense.
Overlooked gem from Peter Jackson, coming between Heavenly Creatures and The Frighteners.

Brokenwood Mysteries - 2014 - New Zealand

Brokenwood Mysteries - 2014 - 6/10

 
Amiable mystery with eccentric city inspector Shepherd assigned to a rural backwater.
And like all TV hinterlands, there are murders and nefarious doings aplenty.
By the end of S01, the ensemble team has been assembled (although none display much personality).
The mysteries range from pretty good (a wine competition) to predictable (a revenge).
Well written, passable entertainment, spawning 10+ seasons.
One season was OK for me, doubt I will watch more.

Munkie - 2021 - New Zealand

Munkie - 2021 - 6/10

 
22 year old Rose still lives with her strict, controlling parents.
They disapprove of her “bad” boyfriend and lock her inside their home.
Growing more furious by the minute, Rose and boyfriend target the obstacles.
Slow burn crime story, based on Jennifer Pan, a Vietnamese-Canadian girl.
Think Kristi Koslow, or Alyssa Hatcher, or Jasmine Richardson, or Nina Holbrook, or Esmie Tseng …
One note short should stir resentful teen viewers.

Venus Of The South Seas - 1924 - New Zealand

Venus Of The South Seas - 1924 - 5/10

 
John Royal owns an island, where happy natives deep water dive for pearls.
On day, daughter Shona will inherit everything.
So, shifty skipper Drake decides to woo and marry the future heiress.
Melodrama enhanced by several lengthy underwater scenes.
Plus, midway there is a fairytale of Princess Gwytha asking the Little Mermaid to help her rescue the Prince of Dreams.

Meet The Feebles - 1989 - New Zealand

Meet The Feebles - 1989 - 7/10

 
Trials and tribulations of the weekly variety skit show.
The star diva, growing fatter by the day.  Her lover / club owner, who cheats on her and deals drugs on the side.  The porn films being filmed in the basement.  The star comedian who has caught a deadly disease.
This barely covers a fraction of the shenanigans of this black comedy satire.
Fans of the Muppets, this a parallel world on crank.
Shocking, hilarious, subversive.  NOT FOR PRUDES, please!
Swearing, sex, drug abuse, violence, unforgettable musical numbers.

Note:  When Fellowship Of The Ring came out on DVD, I bought stacks of Feebles and placed them at checkout, with signage, “Also by Peter Jackson!”   We sold through quickly and repeatedly.  Not one ever came back, but I’m sure folks expecting the Shire were surprised.

What We Do In The Shadows - 2014 - New Zealand

What We Do In The Shadows - 2014 - 7/10

Four older guys share a flat in Wellington.
They bicker about chores (dirty dishes a particular problem), have meetings, find activities.
For them, the day begins around 6:00 PM.  Oh yeah, they are vampires.

 
Hilarious documentary follows the gents as they go clubbing, heckle werewolves, invite humans to dinner.
All are chatty - well - Petyr, 8000 years old, is more reserved.
Inventive, droll, good-natured.   Reminded me of This Is Spinal Tap.
Though like Tap, tails a bit in the final twenty minutes.

The Hobbit: Spence Edit - 2014 - New Zealand

The Hobbit: Spence Edit - 2014 - 6/10

 
Fan-editor Spence combined the bloated Hobbit trilogy into one film, running three and a half hours.
Virtually all moronic humor was cut, as were most Elvish appearances not in the Tolkien book.
Big omission, Beorn.  Otherwise, one doesn’t really miss the rest.
The plot stays coherent and works.
If anything, more characters could have been tossed, meaning the bulk of the dwarves. Tolkien never elaborated on two thirds of them and most could have been dispensed with.
To be honest, though, near the end I was ready for the whole damn thing to finish already.
Certainly not the fault of Spence, who has done a job here.
The narrative itself is sluggish and bombastic.  Much of the film was miscast - sacrilege I know, but Martin Freeman’s portrayal of Bilbo never rings true for me.
Still, there are Hobbit fans galore, and this edit - easy to track down - is a tidy way to watch it in one sitting.
Fans of the film might score this much higher.

The Devil’s Rock - 2011 - New Zealand

The Devil’s Rock - 2011 - 6/10

 
World War II, just before D-Day, two New Zealand commandos kayak to Forau, in the Channel Islands, to sabotage Nazi gun emplacements.
They hear female wailing and whimpering, and drop the mission to investigate.
After tiptoeing through endless corridors, they encounter blood splattered walls, gory entrails, slain German soldiers.
Naturally, they proceed.  After all, a damsel needs rescuing.
Pocket thriller that, despite low budget, looks fine.  Decent acting, as well.
Film is of two halves, however.
First part, clues lead to mystery, anxiety approaches dread.
Second part is stagey.  Seriously, it feels like an off-Broadway or outer London play.  Too much dialogue.
Brainy rather than gut piercing.  Still, a nice little flick, especially for indie buffs.

Housebound - 2014 - UK

Housebound - 2014 - 7/10

 
Repeat offender (petty crimes, substance abuse, dismal attitude) is given the worse-than-death sentence.
Home arrest with Mom, and Ma's boyfriend.
Ma is a chatterbox, whether gossiping on the phone, or calling talk radio and over-sharing.
Mother believes the home is haunted, or hosts a supernatural presence.
In the basement, the daughter sees what might fuel Ma's fevered imagination.
A stash of books by renowned literary master, Gordon Dickson.
And then he hears noises herself, inside the walls.
Fast paced horror/mystery is generously laced with comedy, plot twists and revelations.