Please Don’t Touch Me - 1963 - USA

Please Don’t Touch Me - 1963 - 5/10

 
“Oh, honey, I just love this special outfit!”
“Yeah, I was going to make the car payment, but saw this in the window and bought it instead.”
“Just so long as you don’t try – No, please don’t touch me!”
The story of the young wife, raped at 15, now frigid, entering regressive hypnosis therapy.
Wildly uneven claptrap is crazier, and more fun, in the initial scenes.
Once Lash La Rue starts hypnotizing, blathering talk dominates.
Of course, for many, Viki Caron as the overripe, milk fed Vicky, will be the main attraction.

The Crusader - 1932 - USA

The Crusader - 1932 - 5/10

 
Namesake being the new District Attorney, cleaning up the troubled burg.
How troubled?  Who knows!
He talks a lot to self-righteous citizens, while a muck raking, guttersnipe reporter rolls in dirt.
Our reporter is an annoying caricature, and it seems perplexing that he has not been killed.
Lew Cody fine as the reformed nightclub owner.
Most will view for Evelyn Brent, but she is underutilized.
Often tagged as Pre-Code, it is a stagey, early talkie – and too talky at that.

From Beijing With Love - 1994 - Hong Kong

From Beijing With Love - 1994 - 6/10
AKA - Gwok Chaan Ling Ling Chat // 國產凌凌漆

 
A Tyrannosaurus fossil is stolen from China.
Their “best” agent is assigned to retrieve it from the villain “Golden Gun”.
Operative 007, long-retired, had been working as a kitchen butcher.
Fast moving Stephen Chow vehicle is one of his friendlier ones.
Packed with jokes and parodies of the Bond franchise, as well as in-jokes of Hong Kong hits.
Lots of physical humor, although so much of Chow’s skill is verbal humor.
Wordplay, pratfalls, sexual innuendo.  Know thyself.

Arcadia S01 - 2023 - Belgium

Arcadia S01 - 2023 - 6/10

 
Dystopian future finds citizens of high merit living in the Dome.
Merit is calculated by a score-keeping implant that tracks skills, IQ, work ethic, attitude.
Higher score members have perks, lower orders scramble to avoid the dread “2” and expulsion.
Of course, everyone is monitored night and day in this utopian police state.
Inspired work done with architecture, and making the most of costumes.
Nonetheless, the script has drawn the main family (all females) as utter dolts.
They are wide-eyed, trusting, gullible fools, repeatedly committing illogical and stupid decisions.
By E05, with more narrative track being laid down, I knew this series would not conclude.
A second season is announced, and this has the skeleton of a great yarn, if characters wise up.
Producers need to fire every single writer, however, and hire intelligent ones.

Note:  Last series I got from Seranova, Azimuth, Peter.  He was always scrupulous with subtitles.
I will be careful with a S02, foregoing hasty (“Me first! Me first!”) rabbits who deem AI subs, “good enough”.

Cast A Giant Shadow - 1966 - USA

Cast A Giant Shadow - 1966 - 5/10

 
Ex-US officer Mickey Marcus is enticed to organize the fledgling Israeli Army in 1948.
Soldiers are untrained and ill-equipped, surrounded on all sides by hostile nations.
From the onset, a series of clichés, head-scratching decisions, distracting cameos.
Kirk Douglas fine as Marcus, yet he leaves his pregnant wife (Angie Dickenson),
Extended cameos include John Wayne, Frank Sinatra, Yul Brynner (after while I quit looking).
Film is overlong, short on action, bloated with romance, and in general a muddle.

Joan Baez: I An A Noise - 2023 - USA

Joan Baez: I An A Noise - 2023 - 6/10

 
Perplexing documentary of the legendary folk singer will be for dedicated and knowledgeable audiences.
Mind you, it touches the bases, if briefly.  Childhood, early fame, Dylan, marriage, endless touring.
The whole folkie scene of the 60’s?  What was that?
Rolling Thunder?  Mentioned, unexplained.  Renaldo And Clara, what’s that?
Over and over, the focus is of Baez as victim, as insecure, as neurotic.
Much is given to her hypnosis therapy sessions and the unearthing of buried memories.
Even she admits many of those may be false memories, which diminishes the factuality of the doc.
Unless you are a snoopy voyeur, stick with her Wiki page.  This is a missed opportunity.

The Rose - 1979 - USA

The Rose - 1979 - 6/10

 
By any other name, this rose is a watered down version of Janis Joplin.
Sex, drugs and rock n roll, of a burned out singer, who needs a break, but loves adulation.
Some good music numbers amidst narcissistic and self destructive behavior.
Midler has real chops in this, and yet the film seems to wallow in the depressive business.
Speaking of business, Alan Bates terrific as the manager, smart, calculating, relentless.
Photography has a sleazy look, which seems completely appropriate.
Those familiar with Joplin’s story will see how much was lifted wholesale.
I cannot praise Midler enough in this, probably her finest role.

Funny Face - 1957 - USA

Funny Face - 1957 - 7/10

 
The fashion magazine arrives in a trendy bookshop (Greenwich Village).
Models amidst “intellect” (books).  Recall Playmates wanting to be engineers or rocket scientists.
Afterward, the photographer stays behind to assist employee Jo repair the shambles.
Sparks generate, then a song, then off to fashion center of the world – Paris.
Gershwin numbers, dancing by a superlative Audrey Hepburn, amidst haute couture.
Splashy Hollywood romance is an enjoyable spectacle.
If – IF – you can overlook the Fred Astaire / Audrey Hepburn age discrepancy.

The Strange Love Of Martha Ivers - 1946 - USA

The Strange Love Of Martha Ivers - 1946 - 7/10

 
Martha, Walter, and Sam clutched a secret from childhood.
Martha and Walter married, became power brokers in their town.  Sam drifted.
Until Sam quietly returns, and blackmail, which had been an undercurrent, grows stronger.
Film bears more Melodrama than Noir, although the mystery and suspense hold up.
Van Heflin lacks the oomph for his part, Stanwyck is spot on and outstanding as usual.
Judith Anderson steals the early film as the domineering, terrifying Mrs. Ivers.
Kirk Douglas screen debut, and a rare chance to see him play a wuss.

Species - 1995 - USA

Species - 1995 - 6/10

 
OK … so … everyone has their guilty pleasures.
Know-it-all scientists make interstellar contact!
Our friendly aliens (think “Zanti Misfits”) share their DNA code, persuade gullible humans to splice with human DNA.
What could go wrong?
The hybrid escapes and, driven by reproductive urges, steers towards the big city.
Empty-headed film, with pretensions toward depth, is for fans of Giger and Natasha Henstridge.
As believable as crafting a Human + A I hybrid.  You read that here first.

The Flight Of The Phoenix - 1965 - USA

The Flight Of The Phoenix - 1965 - 6/10

 
Sturdy yarn of desert survival.
A sandstorm knocks down a plane over the Sahara carrying oil workers: riggers, scientists, engineers.
Miles from civilization, off traffic routes, food and water running low.
Most of these are alpha males so there are plenty of pissing contests.
Eventually, the immortal phrase, “the gods help those who help themselves,” and the men rally themselves.
Akin to other big cast ensembles {The Magnificent Seven (1960) or The Great Escape (1963)}, although this suffers from poor momentum.
Although book-ended by action, much of the film observes the men sweat, suffer and argue.

Snafu - 2023 - USA

Snafu - 2023 - 6/10

 
Two enforcers are primed to enter the thief’s lair.
The culprit stole large, and the boss ordered the men to retrieve it.
As always, the guy says he don’t know nuthin from nuthin.
Short of a classic screwup and a guy who’s in the wrong place.
Dark comedy is full Noir, laced with profanity and obscenity.