Human Lanterns - 1982 - Hong Kong

Human Lanterns - 1982 - 6/10 
AKA - Ren pi deng long // 人 皮 燈 籠

 
The rich man, wanting to defeat a rival spendthrift, hires the lantern maker.
Who, as we find out, makes shades from fleshy sources, of which there seem to be plenty.
Our protagonists are vain and boastful, whereas the villain (Lo Lieh) oozes diabolic charisma.
Weak as ever, I root for the baddie, just as hard blondes have ever snared my interest.
Shaw Brothers shocker has swordsplay, horror, scheming, murders.
Grisly midnight gem.

Mario Cantone: Laugh Whore - 2005 - USA

Mario Cantone: Laugh Whore - 2005 - 5/10 

 
Standup routine before a sympathetic audience.
Catone jabs his Italian upbringing, mocks a bit of current events, kicks the South.
His impersonations are first rate:
Streisand, Hepburn, Stanwyck, Rivers, Cher, Oprah, etc …
Mostly gay icons; I am unsure whether he is being ironic or venting hostility.
His is not respectful homage, he skewers and ridicules.
Snarky comments mask envy and resentment.

Beyond The Poseidon Adventure - 1979 - USA

Beyond The Poseidon Adventure - 1979 - 4/10

 
The capsized liner from 1971 ain’t sunk yet!
Arrive, the jackals and hyenas … uh … salvage boats and profiteers.
The two sides, each declaring to help, soon help themselves.
Until greed takes over.
Inept, cheap sequel (more a remake) wastes a huge cast in boring disaster film.

Hold Me While I’m Naked - 1966 - USA

Hold Me While I’m Naked - 1966 - 5/10

 
“The only things in life worth living for.”
The fantasies and restrictions of the indie director.
From encounters behind stained glass to shaking antennas to banal mealtime.
Experimental film manages to be sexy, funny and depressing.

Der Bomberpilot - 1970 - Germany

Der Bomberpilot - 1970 - 5/10 

 
Near the end of the Third Reich, the cabaret trio keep performing.
After the war, they struggle together and independently to find work.
Pastry shop, stenographer, one seeks a position at a retirement home for dogs. 
Eventually, they reform as a cabaret trio, reviving their old act for Yanks.
Audio is out of sync (deliberately), numerous wardrobe malfunctions.
Tone ranges from comic to ironic to jeering.
English subtitles = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3373033

Smashing Time - 1967 - UK

Smashing Time - 1967 - 5/10 

 
Two young Northern birds arrive in Swinging London.
Fame and glamor beckon, until they realize they have been robbed.
They manage to get “hostessing” jobs, but success continues to sidestep them.
English slapstick seems like a mad cousin to the “Carry On” films.
Terrific cast, crazy 60’s look, yet everything is too much.
No real meat, while everyone tries so very hard.

Black Dynamite - 2009 - USA

Black Dynamite - 2009 - 7/10 

 
Combat vet, and ex-agency operative, returns to street action after his brother is killed.
Who ya gonna trust?  Pimps, drug dealers, government honchos?
Everyone is victim, everyone is guilty in no-holds-barred parody / homage.
One doesn’t need to be fluent in Blaxploitation flicks, but it wouldn’t hurt.
If nothing else, check out Shaft, then Dolemite.
Laugh out loud funny throughout,  and the “look” (16mm) is vintage gold.

Tiger - 2013 - Poland

Tiger - 2013 - 5/10 
AKA - Tygrys

 
She may look human to us, but she is the cat of the house.
Territorial and fiercely protective.  Her human is HER human.
Woe to any other female who encroaches on her home.  Or mates with her male staff.
Olszańska eerily emulates the feline, although the short borders on objectification.

The Hidden - 1987 - USA

The Hidden - 1987 - 6/10

 
Los Angeles cops have their hands full with a spree murderer.
Mild mannered citizen, only he is now a raging killer.
After an onslaught of bullets, the perp is taken to hospital, where he is expected to die.
He expires, except what possessed him jumps.
An alien body jumper, with a taste for Ferraris, automatic weapons, and carnage.
Enter an FBI agent, knowledgeable about the quarry, in whatever host.
Wild SciFi, Horror, buddy cop flick, years ahead of its time.

San Francisco - 1968 - UK

San Francisco - 1968 - 6/10

 
Experimental film by Anthony Stern dashes through every nuance of the Bay city.
Police, hippies, military, office workers, day time, night time, everyday activities, orgiastic happenings.
Flits through neighborhoods like a dragonfly on amphetamines.
The pace is frantic, fueled by an early version of Pink Floyd’s “Interstellar Overdrive”.
Cuts are so dizzying and blurry, you might wish you had dropped Owsley’s acid.

Rose Of Nevada - 2025 - UK

Rose Of Nevada - 2025 - 6/10 

 
Thirty years on, the self-named ship slips into port.  Abandoned.
A skipper appears who will pilot the craft, yet they need a two man crew.
Enter the visiting stranger, and an impoverished local.
Who step into the shoes of the lost crew … in more ways than one.
Rugged film does not flinch from the realities of fishing.
Unexplained elements are fine, although the plot grows repetitive.
Overall bleak tone along the lines of Bait and Enys Men.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3372674

Allelujah! - 2018 - UK

Allelujah! - 2018 - 7/10 

 
Old and in the way.
Oldsters in the geriatric wing of the Bethlehem Hospital, the Beth.
They are, excuse me, taking up space.
Oh yes, the Beth is profitable, but the bed turnover is too low for Whitehall.
Births, injuries, and surgeries come and go, but old folks only go once – at their end.
Alan Bennett play is funny, biting, sad, and, for anyone who follows the NHS, uncomfortably accurate.

A Scene At The Sea - 1991 - Japan

A Scene At The Sea - 1991 - 7/10 
AKA - あの夏、いちばん静かな海

 
Deaf trash collector, Shigeru, finds a broken surfboard on his route.
He clumsily repairs it, begins trying to master the waves.
Along the way, he picks up a girlfriend, Takako, also deaf.
For aspiring surfers, this film is encouraging.
Shigeru falls over and over and over, yet he persists.
To the point where he does improve.  Never world class, but that’s not the point.
Low-key Takeshi Kitano film.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3372673

The Healing - 2012 - Philippines

The Healing - 2012 - 6/10 

 
Seth takes her dying father to a tiny village where a miraculous “healer” lives.
The results are astounding.
So much so, that ailing friends and neighbors demand she take them. 
The next time, something is different.  The healer is tired, but they insist.
Back home, miracles.  Then … a dark reckoning.
Philippines supernatural, with a whiff of earlier Hong Kong horrors.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3372672

Blue Rita - 1977 - Switzerland

Blue Rita - 1977 - 5/10 
AKA - Das Frauenhaus

 
Blue Rita is the name of the club and the proprietress.
Serving a clientele of the sophisticated and jaded.
It is also a place where Blue Rita and her lesbian operatives capture and torture spies.
Extorting information and bank accounts.
Absurd Jess Franco flick is awash in nudity and Pop Art.
Interesting camera work and angles, although I suspect a targeted porn audience would grow bored.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3372671

Stella Blómkvist - 2017 - Iceland

Stella Blómkvist - 2017 - 6/10 

 
Stella is supposedly a lawyer.  Maybe she is the courthouse once.
The rest of the time, she acts like a private eye, along with a lot of alcohol and sex.
Three two-part episodes, mostly of risqué behavior of Iceland’s rich and powerful.
Prime minister beleaguered, rich kids terrorized, Chinese influencers.
Scenery underutilized and not enough to tempt armchair travelers.
OK enough mysteries, but none meriting a rewatch.
Heida Reed (Stella) looks and walks like a runway model.

Volcano - 1997 - USA

Volcano - 1997 - 5/10 

 
I think there were two volcano disaster flicks in ‘97.
Both equally silly.
Here, activity is occurring in the Los Angeles sewers.
Ain’t no colony of alligators neither.  Nor is it the long heralded “big one”.
Tommy Lee Jones hams his way throughout.
Formula script, characters behave like a party of squirrels.

The Whispering Shadow - 1933 - USA

The Whispering Shadow - 1933 - 5/10 

 
Aforementioned crime lord remains unseen, yet murders by radio waves (and TV for those few early adopters).
Nevertheless, he, his henchmen, and a whole mess of extras pursue the Czar’s jewels.
Mascot serial is cheap across the board: plotting, direction, logic, characters, action.
Bela is the best thing in it, and the main reason to view.
If you suffer insomnia, watch to help you kill another night.

Murder In Orléans - 2017 - France

Murder In Orléans - 2017 - 6/10
AKA - Meurtres à Orléans

 
During the annual festival, the female playing Joan of Arc is murdered by crossbow arrow from 100 yards.
Ha!  That ought to narrow down suspects.  I mean, that takes skill, right?
The victim was beloved by all, well, maybe not.
Detective duo is son-in-law / mother-in-law combo.  C’mon, really?
Hither and yon, interrogate and theorize, sniff the home life.
Contrived mystery will hold interest, although afterward one might think, “Hey, did them say contrived?”

The Woman In Red - 1935 - USA

The Woman In Red - 1935 - 6/10

 
Professional horsewoman meets amateur polo player.
Shelby works for rich Nicko, who is territorially possessive about Johnny.
Dressage, polo, stables, investors.
Nouveau riche vies with impoverished aristocrats.
I wonder if this had been a spicier Pre-Code a year earlier.
Stanwyck solid as ever, Raymond boyishly handsome, but bland.

The Full Monty - 1997 - UK

The Full Monty - 1997 - 6/10  

 
The glory of Sheffield, mills closed, men out of work.
Available jobs akin to “want fries with that?”
Gaz and Dave steal scrap, lose scrap, trying to earn a pittance.
When they see a poster for a male striptease act, they decide to offer a local version. 
Aside from one, these are not model specimens.
Unpleasant, uncomfortable comedy is laugh out loud and sad.

Sinatra: All Of Nothing At All - 2015 - USA

Sinatra: All Of Nothing At All - 2015 - 7/10 

 
Two-part, four (4) hour biography of “the Voice” will be plenty for the genuinely curious.
For legions of fans, possibly not enough.
With permission from the Sinatra estate, this has a trove of photos personal items. 
Most everything is here: early chronology, crooner, Hollywood, Vegas.
As well as more unsavory avenues: philandering, the Mob, politics.
Cringe at the 4 hr length if you will.  After Sinatra’s death in 1998, a local station broadcast a ten hour documentary.
Oh, had I only I taped it. 

White Hell Of Pilz Palu - 1929 - Germany

White Hell Of Pilz Palu - 1929 - 6/10 
AKA - Die Weiße Hölle vom Piz Palü

 
Know-it-all mountaineer, Dr. Johannes, pooh-poohs the guide’s warning about the winds.
Before he can say, “Well, maybe I was –”  there goes his wife, into the crevasse.
He becomes obsessed, wandering the cliffs in a futile search for years.
Enter a young couple, and history begins to repeat.
Creaky story, a bit melodramatic, but the 1929 location photography and stunts are impressive.
For better or worse, this opened doors for Leni Riefenstahl, perhaps one too many.

John Waters: This Filthy World - 2006 - USA

John Waters: This Filthy World - 2006 - 7/10 

 
Your mileage may vary.  I had seen Waters doing a live variation of this show in 2004.
Only a handful of what I recalled remained here.  Apparently, he frequently modifies this one-man show.
For fans, this is wonderful stuff, if a little dated (shock ain’t what it was).
Childhood, Baltimore, moviemaking, insane incidents, sexual experiences, actors.
I do remember, during the live show, him telling how buddies used to wear tennis shoes in the large Baltimore department store, let them get ripped up on the escalator, then receive brand new replacements!

A Pale View Of Hills - 2025 - Japan

A Pale View Of Hills - 2025 - 7/10
AKA - Tôi yama-nami no Hikari // 遠い山なみの光

 
Etsuko puts the family home up for sale, deeming it is too big for one person.
Daughter Niki shows to help pack.  The women have a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ relationship.
Except Niki is now curious.  Why did you leave Nagasaki?  What was it like?  Why did you move to England?
Narrative shifts between 1950’s occupied Nagasaki and 1980’s England.
Also, Etsuko seems to mix her memories with those of her friend, Sachiko.
Beautiful cinematography, yet the storylines are blurred, resolution vague.

A Hero Never Dies - 1998 - Hong Kong

A Hero Never Dies - 1998 - 6/10 
AKA - Chan Sam Ying Hung // 眞 心 英 雄

 
Two triads are at war, bosses hiding timidly, while top hands Martin and Jack lead their sides.
After a brutal shootout in Thailand, decimating both sides, the two enforcers are left for dead.
Not so fast.  Both slowly recuperate.
Nevertheless, do the bosses recognize their enforcers afterward?
Super-stylized homage to gun flicks of the 1980’s with minimal dialogue.
Borrows liberally from John Woo, as well as Kinji Fukasaku.

Battlestar Galactica: Razor - 2007 - USA

Battlestar Galactica: Razor - 2007 - 7/10

 
A nice, brief return to form coming between soggy S03 and staggering S04.
This could pretty much have been called “Pegasus” since the bulk of the story occurs on that ship.
The vessel under Admiral Cain takes a more belligerent course than Galactica.
Wonderful flashback scene during the first Colonial War is a highlight and SHOULD have been a spinoff.
Character study of XO Smith shows writers could still create concise, compelling stories.

Ground Swell: The Other Side of Fear - 2022 - USA

Ground Swell: The Other Side of Fear - 2022 - 7/10

 
This opens and closes at Navare, Portugal.
In-between: Jaws, Pipeline, Mavericks.
The big waves, fifty to one-hundred feet.  The monsters.
If you want travelogues or board stunt work, this ain’t it.
This is surf porn, with lots of drone camerawork.
View with the biggest screen you can find.

The Haunted Palace - 1963 - USA

The Haunted Palace - 1963 - 6/10 

 
The village of Arkham finally has enough of Curwen, the aristocratic dabbler.
Even dying, he swears vengeance on the Arkham descendants.
100+ years pass and the estate goes to his descendant, Charles Dexter Ward.
A hilltop palace, with two surviving (?) servants and a framed portrait.
Guess whose personality begins to overrule young Ward?
Poe title, Lovecraft setting and characters, Price and Chaney give good performances.

Outside The Wall - 1950 - USA

Outside The Wall - 1950 - 6/10 

 
Larry, in the prison since he was 15, receives a pardon and enters the big city at 30. 
His ignorance of society pales next to his innocence of females.
Who, despite his reticence and reserve, are attracted to him, mostly with ill intent.
Basehart does well as the naive Larry, quickly calloused and tempted back into the old life.
Prison itself is misrepresented as a happy place, full of smiles.

Arctic Circle 2 - 2023 - Finland

Arctic Circle 2 - 2023 - 6/10 
AKA - Ivalo 2

 
Five years on, detective Nina has moved: school for her daughter, hospital for dying mother.
Assassinations and a disappearance draw her back to Ivalo, where she teams with a Russian cop.
Police work and mystery of the lodge are attractions.
Nina’s family business remains a waste of time and grinding gears.
She is a terrible mother, why do writers insist on weighing down this series with oily soap?

Murder On Aix Island - 2017 - France

Murder On Aix Island - 2017 - 5/10 
AKA - Les Mystères de I'île

 
José is found floating in a small boat.  Dead.  With a garnet jewel.
The assigned police captain force-deputizes the mayor, as he knows everyone.
While the mystery that becomes more and more implausible..
Stream of suspects and odd twists cannot disguise the lack of logic.
Time and again, “Why’d that happen?” “How’d she beat two police cars?”
Will hold your interest, but don’t ask yourself questions afterward.

Barbarella - 1968 - France

Barbarella - 1968 - 6/10

 
Our heroine is after a rogue scientist with a life-destroying death ray.
She crash lands, is captured, rescued, and has her first experience of physical sex.
Barbarella proceeds to share the love, continuing with her mission.
Genuine 1960’s artifact has a Euro-design and sensibility.
Less campy, less rollicking than Danger: Diabolik (1968), this tries too hard.
Fonda never looks comfortable onscreen here.

Hansel And Gretel - 2007 - USA

Hansel And Gretel - 2007 - 6/10

 
Two children dash off into the woods, exploring, seeking adventure.
Which they find, rather, a witch finds them!
Oh, tasty, tasty, what a meal they’ll make.
Period costumes are OK, gingerbread house imaginative.
I believe, in trying to lend a fairytale sensibility, it was undershot, the focus too soft.
This grows extremely tedious.
Earliest film from Robert Eggers shows promise.

The Girlfriend - 2025 - UK

The Girlfriend - 2025 - 7/10 

 
Pampered mama’s boy Daniel swoons over high-end realtor Cherry.
Mother Laura is incestuously possessive, and Cherry is a knockout with a murderous streak.
Daniel?  What a dunce.  30 years old, still clutching Ma’s skirt, no employment.  A rich manboy.
Short series is an extended, delicious catfight, each side with sharp claws and drawn knives.
All of us actually know overly close mother-son relationships shown here.
Occasionally over-the-top, never dull.

Pitch Black - 2000 - USA

Pitch Black - 2000 - 6/10 

 
Spacecraft is perforated by meteorites and crash lands on an uninhabited desert planet.
Survivors are a mixed lot, including a taciturn killer, Riddick.
Empty, the desert planet is not, for there are creatures that emerge at night.
And a very long night, indeed, is approaching.
First in the Riddick franchise makes the most of a limited budget and relies on Diesel’s charisma.
Predictable formula of “another one bites the dust” is, nevertheless, blushing fun. 

One For The Road - 2023 - USA

One For The Road - 2023 - 6/10

 
The party in the bar is breaking up.
Then a couple of the guests ask the old barfly, Booth, about the history of ‘Salem’s Lot.
Acceptable adaptation of the King sequel.
Acting is passable, the black and white flashbacks are well done.  
For buffs of the writer, this should grow on you, draw you in.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3372458

Vivacious Lady - 1938 - USA

Vivacious Lady - 1938 - 6/10

 
Milquetoast professor goes to the Big Apple to fetch a feckless cousin.
In the nightclub, he spies the songbird and it’s love at first sight.
Within two days, they are married and heading back to small town USA.
Where he does tell his parents, his students, or fiancé that he wed a blonde lounge singer.
What would others think?  Dude, grow a spine.
Jimmy Stewart with his bumbling, stammering shtick grows tiresome; the romance rang false.
1930’s RomCom has dated badly for me.  Resonated more with Depression audiences.

Lourdes - 2009 - France

Lourdes - 2009 - 6/10 

 
The site of pilgrimage for the crippled, the dying, the desperate.
Christine has already been to Rome, and is now part of the French group.
Food, pep talks, the gift shop, the precious water, the grotto.
Each hoping for a miracle, perhaps wondering why God has damaged them.
Midway, there is a debate by the religious elite on whether God is all good, or all powerful.
I have been to a couple of these Marian shines, all felt like tourist traps to me.
Growing up with a handicapped parent hardened my outlooks on miracles.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3372457

Escape From New York - 1981 - USA

Escape From New York - 1981 - 6/10 

  
“I heard you were dead.”
Manhattan is a fortified prison, the rest of the US of A, a fascist dystopia.
All well and good, until the President is captured and held by inmates.
Brass then opts to send an ex-commando, Snake, in via glider.
Where he finds a waiting cabbie!  Only in the movies, kids. 
Watch for a good cast, menacing set design, and action.  Disregard the lack of logic.

Children Of Evil - 2023 - Serbia

Children Of Evil - 2023 - 7/10 
AKA - Deca Zla

 
During an upcoming election, the frontrunner is murdered by a masked intruder.
Police soon find footprints, shoes, a witness, and a patsy.
Yet, the defense attorney reveals the shoes don’t fit, the witness has an alcohol problem.
There are also conflicts of interest in a rigged trial.
Well and good, until it delves into why the man was murdered, as well as the next victims.
Modern Noir, set in Serbia, laced with corruption, curses, and wartime atrocity.

Successive Slidings Of Pleasure - 1974 - France

Successive Slidings Of Pleasure - 1974 - 6/10 
AKA - Glissements Progressifs du Plaisir

 
Alice may have murdered her roommate, Nora.
She confessed she did.  Or was she imagining it?  Or fabricating?
Awaiting the reenactment, she is held in the convent prison with nuns as wardens.

 
Slow pace (typical of this director), steeped in French Catholicism.
Nudity aplenty, along with body paint and sharp instruments.
Extraordinary cast for this contorted arthouse from Robbe-Grillet
Anicée Alvina eerily evokes depraved innocence. 

Ghost Bride - 2017 - Philippines

Ghost Bride - 2017 - 6/10 

 
Mayen is the fiercely independent daughter in a struggling family.
The family are performers in old-fashioned Chinese opera. 
No one attends much, owing to television and cellphones.
Father is a financial failure, the family faces eviction.
Mayen, beautiful Mayen, has suitors.  Greedy, sleazy, lying, two-faced.
A matchmaker offers a huge amount of money if – if – Mayen marries a dead man.
Philippines horror takes its sweet time to get going.
Forty minutes in, however, once the agreement is made…hold on.
Wildly, deliriously over-the-top mash of horror, monks, priests, demons, ghosts.

Ants - 1977 - USA

Ants - 1977 - 5/10 
AKA - It Happened At Lakewood Manor

 
A construction crew upsets a gargantuan colony of ants.
Do they notice?  Ha, ha, silly.
A hundred-year-old hotel, is now under attack by crawlies, as well as a greedy property developer.
Preposterous in many aspects, but will make you itchy, nevertheless.
Most of the “rescue” strategies turn out to be unintentionally funny.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3372261

Patton - 1970 - USA

Patton - 1970 - 7/10 

 
Detailed overview of the flamboyant US tank general during World War II.
Not a biography, but a narrow view of 1942-1945.
Perceptive view of the flawed human, and the military genius.
Long (almost 3 hours), yet absorbing, punctuated with ferocious battle scenes.
George C. Scott deservedly won an Oscar.
Scott’s dominance overshadows other actors, almost the film itself.

Holy Smoke! - 1999 - Australia

Holy Smoke! - 1999 - 5/10 

 
On holiday in India, Ruth casts aside her Western upbringing and becomes a devotee.
Her family, horrified, hire an American deprogrammer to excise the inner guru.
The route to removing the perceived “indoctrination” is a whole mess of talking.
Sorry, there are yards of nudity and sex in between.
Jane Campion drama, exploring charged sexual dynamics from the female side.
Comedy elements flag early, proceeding into an uncomfortable drama.

The Butterfly Murders - 1979 - Hong Kong

The Butterfly Murders - 1979 - 6/10
AKA - Dip Bin //  蝶 變

 
Butterflies are seemingly behind mass killings, either from acid or bites.
Besieged Shuma Castle has sought help from the Tien Clan.
Who are soon drawn into a labyrinth of tunnels, secret rivalries and deadly insects.
Debut Tsui Hark actioner boasts wildly imaginative camerawork.
Plot is a bit scattered, but more or less easy to follow.
Story narrated by scholar Fong, who leaves the fighting to everyone else.

Fedora - 1978 - France

Fedora - 1978 - 6/10

 
Has-been film director wants to create an indictment of Hollywood’s youth obsession.
For that, he needs a reclusive star, one still retaining her beauty and glamor.
She refuses, then hurls herself in front of a train.
Smelling something sinister, he begins digging into a buried mystery.
One of Billy Wilder’s last films, this feels autobiographical, and sings for a commentary track.
The background is compelling (he failed to get Dietrich for the Garbo role), the studio refused to back him, critics grasped the film – audiences did not.