You’ve Got Mail - 1998 - USA

You’ve Got Mail - 1998 - 5/10  

 
Kathleen owns a small children’s bookshop in Manhattan (!).
Coming soon to her neighborhood, a behemoth book chain (think Borders, RIP).
No worries, she thinks.  Meantime, she carries an online romance with a username.
Straightforward encounter here, not a convict, 12-year-old, Prince Of Nigeria.
You can predict this one.  As huge scale and predatory pricing destroy competition.
A RomCom with a contrived love angle that defies logic or belief.
Hated this when it screened, still find it emotionally sleazy.

Claire’s Camera - 2017 - S Korea

Claire’s Camera - 2017 - 6/10 
AKA - La Caméra de Claire

 
The Korean film company is at Cannes, marketing releases.
Female boss Yang-hee browbeats Man-hee to quit, arguing she is untrustworthy.
French schoolteacher Claire, encounters both females separately (?), as well as a male director.
Deduction made, the male, while drunk, forced his way into Man-hee.
Jealousy prompted the dismissal.
Slice of life ought to be more interesting, but is too removed to be compelling.

Shark Girl - 2024 - USA

Shark Girl - 2024 - 3/10 

 
The nuclear power plant near Venice Beach (!?!) has a leak that goes unreported (!?!). 
A great white shark swims into the discharge and is altered.
How?  Who knows?  It bites model Heidi, altering her … mouth.
Heidi now sorts obstacles and difficulties the old-fashioned way.  Chomp-chomp-chomp.
Not scary, not funny, not campy.  Script is beneath stupid.
Aside from the two playing Ron and Gina, none of the thespians tried to act.
Appeared to be directed by an AI bot via cellphone.

Beyond: An African Surf Documentary - 2017 - Morocco

Beyond: An African Surf Documentary - 2017 - 6/10 

 
Embryonic surf scenes from Morocco, through Mauritania, into Senegal.
Not all riding the waves, either.  A philosophical bookseller, freestyle dancer, BMX cyclist, canoeists, nomads.
All breaking with social expectations, and the empty dream of becoming a millionaire.
Surf sequences are not typical surf porn (slow motion, razor focus, cerulean skies).
Africa is an exploited / struggling continent.  There may be trash, smog, soldiers, mines.
Participants are hopeful that tomorrow, perhaps, will be a better day.

Pomegranate - 2026 - USA

Pomegranate - 2026 - 6/10 

 
The old wastrel enters the cluttered laboratory.  His louche attitude reeks of affluence and boredom.
Bored with stimulants, narcotics, flesh to flesh melding.  Existence as greasy reruns.
The inventor has breathtaking virtual reality experiences, that might be deadly.
The client has done everything, however.  The sheer boredom of existence has dissipated him.
Extraordinary visuals of this AI SciFi must terrify Hollywood, unless they are already offering cheques.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3372139

Abruptio - 2023 - USA

Abruptio - 2023 - 7/10 

 
Lester is having a bad run.  Age 35 still living with parents, numbing workplace, love life in the dumpster.
Then he notices the scar in the back of everyone’s neck.  In his own neck.
Where the bomb has been implanted – if instructions are not obeyed.
What instructions?  Start murdering people.
Wildly imaginative, high concept Horror using body puppets.
Heavy on splatter, fueled with paranoia, dosed with Kafkaesque humor.
Certainly not for all tastes, yet jammed with X-Files references, as well as a Ligottian world view.

Beast From Haunted Cave - 1959 - USA

Beast From Haunted Cave - 1959 - 5/10 

 
“I’m telling you, Byron, that thing was in the mine where I placed the explosives.  It’s been following us since.”
Chicago mobsters hit a South Dakota gold vault and steal only bars of bullion they can carry on their backs.
Then, they ski cross-country in a blizzard to meet the plane … if the snow ever stops.
The beast resembles a land-crawling, groping tentacled cephalopod, amidst sticky webs.
Caper heist – winter survival – el cheapo monster – and a whole mess of yak, yak, yakking. 

Storm Warning - 2007 - Australia

Storm Warning - 2007 - 6/10 

 
Celebrating a pregnancy, husband and wife set sail for relaxation.
Too bad they forget to check the weather forecast.  Reference title.
They end up stranded on an island … where rednecks are going reefer.
Aroused males, whose mouths water at the French wife.
Rough Ozploitation survival film.  Fans of Mick Taylor will enjoy.
Mind you, Mick would have been unimpressed.

California Schemin’ - 2025 - UK

California Schemin’ - 2025 - 6/10 

 
Rap duo Silibil N’ Brains can’t catch a break in 2003.
Not because Billy and Gavin lack talent, because they are Scots.
Solution, adopt American accents and declare they are Californians.
Whereupon, kissy-kissy-kissy, welcome to the label, say disdainful Londoners.
Film flashes an edge of persona overruling true self.
Lies and self-deceit, one individual a world class dick.
Based on the real duo.  Suggest watch Kneecap first.

Red Heat - 1988 - USA

Red Heat - 1988 - 6/10 

 
Drug lord kills Russian policeman, flees to USA, where he is detained, only to escape again.
Dispatched to bring him back is Danko (AKA Gumby, AKA Schwarzenegger).
Chicago cop (Belushi) assigned to watch him – anticipate violence.
Action oriented buddy flick / fish out of water. 
Arnold a dour straight man to Belushi’s quips, yet his facial reactions are priceless.
Clash of procedures plays out, as do the bullets.
Under appreciated, needs a reappraisal.

The Lone Wolf Strikes - 1940 - USA

The Lone Wolf Strikes - 1940 - 6/10 

 
Older banker, younger female.  He loans her a prized pearl necklace.
What she returns is an excellent fake.  After he complains – and dies – Michael Lanyard steps in.
Lanyard, AKA the Lone Wolf.  Add to the confidence tricksters, a rougher gang biding its time.
Brisk B-film moves rapidly, with enough changes to offset plot holes.
William, as ever, exudes charm and grace, without his sneering, Pre-Code corruption.

Sorceress - 2026 - Poland

Sorceress - 2026 - 6/10 
AKA - Czarownica

 
Karol is antisocial, not especially interested in the tavern Gaja hauls him to. 
Until he encounters a dark-haired flirt who sweeps him away.
Karol has been glamoured.  There is a slice of the dark girl’s backstory.
Enough to know she can be dangerous.
Polish short plunges into uncertainty, then taps out.  Too bad. 

Elizabeth - 1998 - UK

Elizabeth - 1998 - 7/10 

 
After Queen Mary I dies, half sister Elizabeth is released from prison and ascends the throne.
The position is perilous, an England still beset with internal strife, foreign enemies and intrigue.
History errors aside, this is a excellent thriller, as the young queen, inexperienced, navigates foes.
Ignore the dodgy love story; enjoy the sets, costumes, machinations.
While a “historic” drama, with multiple characters, the narrative is lean and easy to follow.
This put Cate Blanchett on the map.

Fallen Angels - 2026 - USA

Fallen Angels - 2026 - 6/10 

 
Julia and Jane have comfortable marriages.
Searing passion extinguished, marriages of stale friendship.
Besides, the two ladies are pals above honor … until.
French flame Maurice, with whom both had been intimate, is coming to visit.
Pals above honor begone!  Out come the claws and rivalries.
Noël Coward domestic comedy is tart and witty in the opening and final acts,. 
Midsection is sodden drunkenness, which some find hilarious.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3371750

Last Summer - 1969 - USA

Last Summer - 1969 - 6/10 

 
Mean spirited story based on equally sour tasting book (bestseller by Evan Hunter).
Vacationing at the beach, two males and a female bond over a rescued seagull.
They mess around with alcohol, reefer, and flirt.  Sexual tension mounts.
A second girl arrives, tries to ingratiate herself with the increasingly jaded, callous trio.
Coming of age film, and rather a cruel one.
Unpleasant, yet achingly resonant.  Avoid PG cut.

Feng Shui - 2004 - Philippines

Feng Shui - 2004 - 6/10 

 
Joy finds a mirror on the bus, left behind by a passenger.
The mirror is a bagua design, meant to bring good luck to the possessor.
And indeed, Joy’s luck soars.  Job promotion, husband gets a bonus, the new house.
Alas, there is no free lunch; for each fortune, there is a death.
The bagua is a cursed thing, with a deeply ugly history.
Film mixes greed, Daoism and supernatural elements.

Mārama - 2025 - New Zealand

Mārama - 2025 - 6/10 

 
Mary Stevens receives passage money and hints about her parents.
An orphan, she travels from New Zealand to York, only to learn the man who contacted her is dead.
Local landowner Nathaniel empathizes and offers her a position as governess. 
The little girl is precocious, but the manor itself repeatedly sends warnings.
Mary Stevens, part of the Maori, possesses second sight and realizes the house has terrible secrets.
Brooding film, especially dark, draws from a wellspring of Maori culture and British colonialism.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3371749

Obituary - 2023 - Ireland

Obituary - 2023 - 6/10

 
Elvira is the obituary columnist for the small town.
Paid when, and only when, she has an obit to write.
She has bills, a father to support.  What’s a girl to do?
Well, if neighbors were to start dying, and she pushed villainous types …
Irish black comedy begins well, ends strongly.
In-between, drama, soap and meandering.
The double edged “luck of the Irish” applies often.

The Cat - 1991 - Hong Kong

The Cat - 1991 - 6/10
AKA - Wèisīlǐ Zhī Lǎomāo // 衛斯理之老貓

Alien monstrosity invades Hong Kong, along with a bitter foe from another system.
Our alien heroes are a pixieish girl and a forceful black cat.
How forceful?  Friend, wait till you behold the epic battle it has with a Rottweiler.
Luckily for us, the adventurer Wisely gets involved.

 
Best way to fight?  Bottles of vodka, set ‘em on fire.  Books, what?
The ridiculous story is matched by the effects.
Glorious nonsense!  Better Wisely film to see is Seventh Curse.
Oh, how I miss HK energy from this era.

The Last Angry Man - 1999 - USA

The Last Angry Man - 1999 - 7/10 

 
“We're going to become guilty, in my judgment, of being the greatest threat to the peace of the world.”
1967, Wayne Morse, Senator from Oregon, challenging onset of the Vietnam War.
A modified liberal, he was, first and foremost, senator for the people of Oregon and the US, not donors.
A politician who fought for the little guy, average Americans, and not Big Business.
Never one to follow party lines, he switched sides, lambasted both for failures.
Morse was one of two senators who refused to give the President power to make war on his own.
Whereas the others shirked their responsibility to be a check and balance to unbridled power.
History repeats itself.  "All this has happened before. All this will happen again."

Evils Of The Night - 1985 - USA

Evils Of The Night - 1985 - 4/10 

 
As with Corman’s Not Of This Earth, there was a breakdown in intelligence.
Aliens land near a small college town and taken over an empty (??) hospital.
They seek human blood platelets to rejuvenate their dying species.
Kidnapped donors must be between 16-24 years old.
Whereupon the extraterrestrials gasp, “So few students!  What is this summer vacation thing?”
Not to worry, a nearby lake is packed with swimsuit twenty-somethings, drinking and doing pokey-pokey.
Stupid drive-in flick, piss poor dialogue, comatose plot, directed by a zombie.
Nonetheless, where else will you find Julie Newmar, John Carradine, Tina Louise, Neville Brand in one film?

Tomb Of Frankenstein - 1964 - Ireland

Tomb Of Frankenstein - 1964 - 6/10 

 
The creature emerges from the rubble, staggers in bright sunshine.
Is rescued by an alchemist, who works to revive it.
Meantime, two entitled bucks pursue a young lass, ripe for sport.
Modern Silent, pretty faithful to classic Universal themes and look.

Airport - 1970 - USA

Airport - 1970 - 6/10 

 
All star cast in this Grand Hotel in the sky.
An overworked airport administrator, philandering pilot, suicidal passenger, blizzard. 
Based on Arthur Hailey novel, this piles on characters and jeopardies.
Slow buildup examines motivations and backstories may gall the impatient.
Exciting in its day, spawned a string of “disaster” films.
Frequent flyers today, check out the leg room in coach!

Murders In Pyla - 2014 - France

Murders In Pyla - 2014 - 6/10 
AKA - La Disparue du Pyla

 
When a skeletal corpse is unearthed in her old hometown, Elise immediately thinks it is her lost sister.
She was there that night a decade ago, when Laura disappeared.
Turns out, she was correct.  The remains are her sister’s.
Followed by a half dozen theories, suspects, accusations, lies.
Elise finds Laura’s diaries and begins investigating on her own.
Better than many French tele-mysteries, in that there is no romance, and the police are secondary.
Suspect #1 is easily guessed early on, however, which is unfortunate.

Party Girl - 1958 - USA

Party Girl - 1958 - 6/10 

 
Chicago chorus girl Vicki catches the eye of hood Louis, and mob lawyer Farrell. 
Mob boss Rico owns both men, Vicki, and the club where she dances.
Farrell arranges a raise for her, but she causes him to question his ethics.
Splashy film is categorized at Noir, it is not.  This is a homage to 1930’s gangster flicks.
The story is routine, yet the cinematography is eye-popping.
Pity this was an MGM release, as this genre was never their forté.